Long Satirical Poems
#satirical
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Nov 2024 7:01pm
29th Nov 2024 7:01pm
A Distorted History Of Dance!
I was reminiscing one night
At myself, in my early thirties
And an assortment of work colleagues
On a night out
Eventually finding ourselves in a nightclub
I wasn't someone that boogied regularly
But i did have a hidden dance move
So when the right sort of tune was played
I entered the arena of the dance floor
And began to cossack!
I was unexpectedly applauded!
Anyway, quintessential to cossacking
Are strong legs, and good balance
I can't cossack now, but still test my crouching skills ...
At myself, in my early thirties
And an assortment of work colleagues
On a night out
Eventually finding ourselves in a nightclub
I wasn't someone that boogied regularly
But i did have a hidden dance move
So when the right sort of tune was played
I entered the arena of the dance floor
And began to cossack!
I was unexpectedly applauded!
Anyway, quintessential to cossacking
Are strong legs, and good balance
I can't cossack now, but still test my crouching skills ...
#dance
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
38 reads
0 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
11th Nov 2024 8:47pm
11th Nov 2024 8:47pm
I'm Sick Of Her!
Kind of sick of my wife
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook ...
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook ...
#FeelingTrapped
#fiction
#food
#satirical
#wife
72 reads
6 Comments
SweetKittyCat5
Poem Published
30th Oct 2024 4:27pm
30th Oct 2024 4:27pm
Drifting Through A Billowing Cloud Of Smoke
Ahh… just let me smoke on your vibe a little bit here, papi
You done bust down my firewall here
I been giving you the peaks and the deep valleys of the cream of my crown
Letting you slide deep in the halo of my divine passage night after night
Leaving you high with your mind touching the helm of the skies
And something has to give you keep bellowing my soul in those clouds of yours
I would pass you this blunt, but I do not smoke
Just lit to illuminate your path through life ...
You done bust down my firewall here
I been giving you the peaks and the deep valleys of the cream of my crown
Letting you slide deep in the halo of my divine passage night after night
Leaving you high with your mind touching the helm of the skies
And something has to give you keep bellowing my soul in those clouds of yours
I would pass you this blunt, but I do not smoke
Just lit to illuminate your path through life ...
#dialogue
#funny
#satirical
214 reads
8 Comments
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
16th Sep 2024 7:57am
16th Sep 2024 7:57am
It's Got A Soprano's Vibe To It
After much deliberation. I, Damian DeadLove, being of sound mind and soul have come to a conclusion. I know what every writer has in common now, okay it could just be a theory, but please hear me out here. If anything it sounds cool but I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Can I get a drumroll, please?? We expose demons and slay them!! Told you it was pretty cool. Now some of you might be saying, “Your just now figuring that out, Damian?” Well I do walk to my own drumbeat, and sometimes I’ve been known to fall out of time. It happens more than I’d like to admit.
...
Can I get a drumroll, please?? We expose demons and slay them!! Told you it was pretty cool. Now some of you might be saying, “Your just now figuring that out, Damian?” Well I do walk to my own drumbeat, and sometimes I’ve been known to fall out of time. It happens more than I’d like to admit.
...
#satirical
#uplifting
144 reads
22 Comments
Duice
Poem Published
8th Sep 2024 1:25am
8th Sep 2024 1:25am
Deck of Cards (AfterSexDilemma collab)
AfterSexDilemma:
Falling to the ground, Big Bang,
That's the sound.
A big man balancing on a tricycle,
Dancing like a clown.
High in the Sefirot trying not to drop.
Opened my mouth couldn't get it to stop.
Pressure boiling in with hot steam,
Makes my ears pop.
The fish in the sky are going dry.
Start to flip flop.
High on my mind wasting time on the clock.
I'm in decline, getting behind, still in line,
Want fame from the tick tock.
The...
Falling to the ground, Big Bang,
That's the sound.
A big man balancing on a tricycle,
Dancing like a clown.
High in the Sefirot trying not to drop.
Opened my mouth couldn't get it to stop.
Pressure boiling in with hot steam,
Makes my ears pop.
The fish in the sky are going dry.
Start to flip flop.
High on my mind wasting time on the clock.
I'm in decline, getting behind, still in line,
Want fame from the tick tock.
The...
#collaboration
#escape
#satirical
#symbolism
#uplifting
186 reads
2 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
17th Aug 2024 8:26pm
17th Aug 2024 8:26pm
Maybe she should have asked for cereal instead
Kind of sick of my wife
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook
Very good at...
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook
Very good at...
#FeelingTrapped
#fiction
#food
#wife
#satirical
95 reads
2 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
15th Aug 2024 11:38am
15th Aug 2024 11:38am
Yesterday at the dentist
Yesterday I went to the dentist
Not to fond of the dentist
I'm in the waiting room
Seems like the place is quiet
I'm the second appointment
Only the receptionist, one other patient & the dentist
From down the hall I hear someone gagging and crying
Sounds like their in horrible pain
The doctor I believe begins yelling at this person
I hear him say, "Would you please shut the fuck up!!"
Then I hear a muffled smack or punch
What I hear next didn't sound right
I...
Not to fond of the dentist
I'm in the waiting room
Seems like the place is quiet
I'm the second appointment
Only the receptionist, one other patient & the dentist
From down the hall I hear someone gagging and crying
Sounds like their in horrible pain
The doctor I believe begins yelling at this person
I hear him say, "Would you please shut the fuck up!!"
Then I hear a muffled smack or punch
What I hear next didn't sound right
I...
#dreams
#funny
#nightmares
#revenge
#satirical
156 reads
6 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
31st Jul 2024 11:03am
31st Jul 2024 11:03am
The Ballerina
Connie was only six when she was discovered gazing at a dead rat by Madame Jenny Taylor
Madame once assoluta at the Ivaninski's, informed the Linguses that the child was to be her pupil
Long years of study began in her ballet school above a row of shops
Connie first came before the public as a peasant girl in Giselle, ou Les Wilis, devised by Madame to display her students abilities
Her life was rather dull and monotonous
She became aware of what real ballet was when Madame took her to one of Anya Neeze innumerable farewell performances
Eventually she was...
Madame once assoluta at the Ivaninski's, informed the Linguses that the child was to be her pupil
Long years of study began in her ballet school above a row of shops
Connie first came before the public as a peasant girl in Giselle, ou Les Wilis, devised by Madame to display her students abilities
Her life was rather dull and monotonous
She became aware of what real ballet was when Madame took her to one of Anya Neeze innumerable farewell performances
Eventually she was...
#dance
#fiction
#loneliness
#success
#satirical
83 reads
4 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
18th Jul 2024 5:01pm
18th Jul 2024 5:01pm
The Cycloptic Pixie
The mother, was orphaned at a very young age
So knew nothing of her parentage
Or that one of them, was part pixie
And the other, part cyclops
So thus, the inner child within the mothers womb
Was effectively, A one-eyed pixie
This child, also had an inner eye
Ordinarilly referred to as the third eye
But in this case, was the second eye
None of which
Would make little sense, to an average human
As most would have two eyes already
And couldn't comprehend
A cycloptic pixie with an inner eye!
Unfortunately
In the case of...
So knew nothing of her parentage
Or that one of them, was part pixie
And the other, part cyclops
So thus, the inner child within the mothers womb
Was effectively, A one-eyed pixie
This child, also had an inner eye
Ordinarilly referred to as the third eye
But in this case, was the second eye
None of which
Would make little sense, to an average human
As most would have two eyes already
And couldn't comprehend
A cycloptic pixie with an inner eye!
Unfortunately
In the case of...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
71 reads
0 Comments
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
16th Jul 2024 2:23am
16th Jul 2024 2:23am
Besides It's Safer
Damian DeadLove, here again on a Sunday night. If I had a YouTube channel how long you reckon I’d last? I’ve thought about it on several occasions it just never really gets past the cutting room floor stage. I don’t know if I’d be any good at it although I love to talk. But here are the problems with the whole idea.
First off I’m not crazy about the idea of showing my mug on the internet. I’m not the most photogenic person, you know? I’d want it to be more like an old time radio show just do the audio thing. But with nothing to visually stimulate an audience I think it would...
First off I’m not crazy about the idea of showing my mug on the internet. I’m not the most photogenic person, you know? I’d want it to be more like an old time radio show just do the audio thing. But with nothing to visually stimulate an audience I think it would...
#prose
#satirical
112 reads
4 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
6th Jul 2024 11:07am
6th Jul 2024 11:07am
My Favorite Nephews
My nephews came over for a July 4th BBQ
I forgot to child proof my basement
Down here is where I keep all of my tools, gadgets and accessories
Not tools like a hammer or pliers
Tools that I use when I write
Pencils, erasers, highlighters, scrap paper & an assortment of books and references
I encourage the kids to go downstairs because after an hour or so outside, they want to come in
I don't want them touching or going into my living room or dining room
I thought they would sit on the couch and watch tv or utilize their i-pads
I told my brother...
I forgot to child proof my basement
Down here is where I keep all of my tools, gadgets and accessories
Not tools like a hammer or pliers
Tools that I use when I write
Pencils, erasers, highlighters, scrap paper & an assortment of books and references
I encourage the kids to go downstairs because after an hour or so outside, they want to come in
I don't want them touching or going into my living room or dining room
I thought they would sit on the couch and watch tv or utilize their i-pads
I told my brother...
#children
#family
#fiction
#nonfiction
#satirical
77 reads
4 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
29th Jun 2024 11:59am
29th Jun 2024 11:59am
Shrink someone's head today
If you want to add spice to your living room decor,
Then continue reading and see what's in-store
Maybe you have an enemy you would love to see dead
Maybe a special friend/lover who annoys you to no end
If so, then read these instructions on how to shrink someone's head
Step 1- Find a head. peel the skin away from the skull (hair and all) Sew the eye and mouth openings closed (to trap the soul inside so it won't haunt you) Turn the head inside out. Scrape away the fat using a sharp knife.
Step 2- Cook the head. Add jungle herbs to a pot of water...
Then continue reading and see what's in-store
Maybe you have an enemy you would love to see dead
Maybe a special friend/lover who annoys you to no end
If so, then read these instructions on how to shrink someone's head
Step 1- Find a head. peel the skin away from the skull (hair and all) Sew the eye and mouth openings closed (to trap the soul inside so it won't haunt you) Turn the head inside out. Scrape away the fat using a sharp knife.
Step 2- Cook the head. Add jungle herbs to a pot of water...
#inspirational
#satirical
147 reads
12 Comments
DU Poetry : Long Satirical Poems
