Long Satirical Poems
#satirical
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
5th Apr 2025 11:21am
5th Apr 2025 11:21am
At the dentist
Yesterday I went to the dentist
Not to fond of the dentist
I'm in the waiting room
Seems like the place is quiet
I'm the second appointment
Only the receptionist, one other patient & the dentist
From down the hall I hear someone gagging and crying
Sounds like their in horrible pain
The doctor I believe begins yelling at this person
I hear him say, "Would you please shut the fuck up!!"
Then I hear a muffled smack or punch
What I hear next didn't sound right
I heard a dental...
Not to fond of the dentist
I'm in the waiting room
Seems like the place is quiet
I'm the second appointment
Only the receptionist, one other patient & the dentist
From down the hall I hear someone gagging and crying
Sounds like their in horrible pain
The doctor I believe begins yelling at this person
I hear him say, "Would you please shut the fuck up!!"
Then I hear a muffled smack or punch
What I hear next didn't sound right
I heard a dental...
#dreams
#nightmares
#satirical
72 reads
8 Comments
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
4th Apr 2025 8:32am
4th Apr 2025 8:32am
Willfully In The Dark
It is I again. I guess I should have explained something about myself, I don’t know if I ever addressed this, I hate fucking politics. I write about them sure, but I don’t love anything about the process. I stay informed, but I’m not a fan.
It’s a necessity, not something I enjoy. It helped ruin a friendship, someone I loved liked a brother, it helped destroy a songwriting partnership. Because, I woke up from a 33 year party, and realized some lines had been crossed.
Worst of all it didn’t get any better, when I got sober. I’m talking about, Joey G, of course....
It’s a necessity, not something I enjoy. It helped ruin a friendship, someone I loved liked a brother, it helped destroy a songwriting partnership. Because, I woke up from a 33 year party, and realized some lines had been crossed.
Worst of all it didn’t get any better, when I got sober. I’m talking about, Joey G, of course....
#philosophical
#satirical
113 reads
10 Comments
Indie
Miss Indie
Miss Indie
Poem Published
14th Mar 2025 9:31pm
14th Mar 2025 9:31pm
Mabon (and tinned apples)
The website told me to
"Get out in the garden"
but it might have to be
someone else's garden
because I don't have one
(unless you count weeds)
but I'm pretty sure harvesting
the last of someone else's
summer crops is illegal
so I won't be doing that
this year
Though if Mabon comes around
and I happen to be in an apocalypse
the Gods and I might need to have words
because I'm not prepared
and I'm sure crop theft
is absolutely acceptable
under those circumstances
just not...
"Get out in the garden"
but it might have to be
someone else's garden
because I don't have one
(unless you count weeds)
but I'm pretty sure harvesting
the last of someone else's
summer crops is illegal
so I won't be doing that
this year
Though if Mabon comes around
and I happen to be in an apocalypse
the Gods and I might need to have words
because I'm not prepared
and I'm sure crop theft
is absolutely acceptable
under those circumstances
just not...
#LifeCycle
#satirical
#spiritual
136 reads
6 Comments
MalcolmG
Poem Published
6th Mar 2025 00:31am
6th Mar 2025 00:31am
IRONIC ISNT IT
Sometimes Irony and Murphy’s Law
lend to each other.
The blind man leads the deaf man,
they debate honest politics
one can’t see, the other can’t hear,
while they are nicely seated
at the corners of the round table,
which has no corners but still divides.
The preacher damns the sinners
between paid confessions and rented beds,
his sermon reeks of whiskey and perfume.
He calls it redemption; she calls it a Tuesday.
The poet bleeds words,
the painter stains canvas,
the whore does both, but she’s still...
lend to each other.
The blind man leads the deaf man,
they debate honest politics
one can’t see, the other can’t hear,
while they are nicely seated
at the corners of the round table,
which has no corners but still divides.
The preacher damns the sinners
between paid confessions and rented beds,
his sermon reeks of whiskey and perfume.
He calls it redemption; she calls it a Tuesday.
The poet bleeds words,
the painter stains canvas,
the whore does both, but she’s still...
#funny
#satirical
#TruthOfLife
111 reads
6 Comments
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
7th Feb 2025 7:59am
7th Feb 2025 7:59am
A Valuable Lesson
So I was at the public library here in town the other day. I live in a very small town by the way. Just returning some books my kids had borrowed. Nothing to make a big deal about you’d think.
After putting the books on the return desk, I decided to go over to the autobiography section just to take a gander. I start looking for musicians in particular. Ones I don’t have or haven’t read.
Off on the other side of the library there was a group having a meeting. It’s audible what they’re saying, but it’s by no means yelling at the top of their lungs. It sounds...
After putting the books on the return desk, I decided to go over to the autobiography section just to take a gander. I start looking for musicians in particular. Ones I don’t have or haven’t read.
Off on the other side of the library there was a group having a meeting. It’s audible what they’re saying, but it’s by no means yelling at the top of their lungs. It sounds...
#funny
#parody
#satirical
176 reads
20 Comments
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
30th Dec 2024 9:15am
30th Dec 2024 9:15am
I Have No End For This..
So let’s say one lucky human gets 3 writes that can come true. Some cute green martian knocks on the door, and gives someone a laptop that has 3 writes that will become reality. This is basically a genie in the bottle, grant you three wishes, in an updated story, with a twist or two.
It keeps count automatically, it has a button labeled "complete." That’s how you use one of the writes. It has everything else a normal computer would have, with that one extra button. It can run as Windows or Mac, it’s user-friendly folks.
You can save your work, take...
It keeps count automatically, it has a button labeled "complete." That’s how you use one of the writes. It has everything else a normal computer would have, with that one extra button. It can run as Windows or Mac, it’s user-friendly folks.
You can save your work, take...
#prose
#satirical
248 reads
23 Comments
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
27th Dec 2024 9:11am
27th Dec 2024 9:11am
Unsolicited Observations
#prose
#satirical
111 reads
21 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Nov 2024 7:01pm
29th Nov 2024 7:01pm
A Distorted History Of Dance!
I was reminiscing one night
At myself, in my early thirties
And an assortment of work colleagues
On a night out
Eventually finding ourselves in a nightclub
I wasn't someone that boogied regularly
But i did have a hidden dance move
So when the right sort of tune was played
I entered the arena of the dance floor
And began to cossack!
I was unexpectedly applauded!
Anyway, quintessential to cossacking
Are strong legs, and good balance
I can't cossack now, but still test my crouching skills ...
At myself, in my early thirties
And an assortment of work colleagues
On a night out
Eventually finding ourselves in a nightclub
I wasn't someone that boogied regularly
But i did have a hidden dance move
So when the right sort of tune was played
I entered the arena of the dance floor
And began to cossack!
I was unexpectedly applauded!
Anyway, quintessential to cossacking
Are strong legs, and good balance
I can't cossack now, but still test my crouching skills ...
#dance
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
121 reads
0 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
11th Nov 2024 8:47pm
11th Nov 2024 8:47pm
I'm Sick Of Her!
Kind of sick of my wife
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook ...
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook ...
#FeelingTrapped
#fiction
#food
#satirical
#wife
107 reads
6 Comments
SweetKittyCat5
Poem Published
30th Oct 2024 4:27pm
30th Oct 2024 4:27pm
Drifting Through A Billowing Cloud Of Smoke
Ahh… just let me smoke on your vibe a little bit here, papi
You done bust down my firewall here
I been giving you the peaks and the deep valleys of the cream of my crown
Letting you slide deep in the halo of my divine passage night after night
Leaving you high with your mind touching the helm of the skies
And something has to give you keep bellowing my soul in those clouds of yours
I would pass you this blunt, but I do not smoke
Just lit to illuminate your path through life ...
You done bust down my firewall here
I been giving you the peaks and the deep valleys of the cream of my crown
Letting you slide deep in the halo of my divine passage night after night
Leaving you high with your mind touching the helm of the skies
And something has to give you keep bellowing my soul in those clouds of yours
I would pass you this blunt, but I do not smoke
Just lit to illuminate your path through life ...
#dialogue
#funny
#satirical
242 reads
8 Comments
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
16th Sep 2024 6:57am
16th Sep 2024 6:57am
It's Got A Soprano's Vibe To It
After much deliberation. I, Damian DeadLove, being of sound mind and soul have come to a conclusion. I know what every writer has in common now, okay it could just be a theory, but please hear me out here. If anything it sounds cool but I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Can I get a drumroll, please?? We expose demons and slay them!! Told you it was pretty cool. Now some of you might be saying, “Your just now figuring that out, Damian?” Well I do walk to my own drumbeat, and sometimes I’ve been known to fall out of time. It happens more than I’d like to admit.
...
Can I get a drumroll, please?? We expose demons and slay them!! Told you it was pretty cool. Now some of you might be saying, “Your just now figuring that out, Damian?” Well I do walk to my own drumbeat, and sometimes I’ve been known to fall out of time. It happens more than I’d like to admit.
...
#satirical
#uplifting
200 reads
22 Comments
Duice
Poem Published
8th Sep 2024 00:25am
8th Sep 2024 00:25am
Deck of Cards (AfterSexDilemma collab)
AfterSexDilemma:
Falling to the ground, Big Bang,
That's the sound.
A big man balancing on a tricycle,
Dancing like a clown.
High in the Sefirot trying not to drop.
Opened my mouth couldn't get it to stop.
Pressure boiling in with hot steam,
Makes my ears pop.
The fish in the sky are going dry.
Start to flip flop.
High on my mind wasting time on the clock.
I'm in decline, getting behind, still in line,
Want fame from the tick tock.
The...
Falling to the ground, Big Bang,
That's the sound.
A big man balancing on a tricycle,
Dancing like a clown.
High in the Sefirot trying not to drop.
Opened my mouth couldn't get it to stop.
Pressure boiling in with hot steam,
Makes my ears pop.
The fish in the sky are going dry.
Start to flip flop.
High on my mind wasting time on the clock.
I'm in decline, getting behind, still in line,
Want fame from the tick tock.
The...
#collaboration
#escape
#satirical
#symbolism
#uplifting
251 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Long Satirical Poems
