Satirical Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#satirical
missjem56
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
Holes
"So, young lady, you aim to tidy up your flat?"
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#prose #satirical
#prose #satirical
17 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Jan 2025 8:57pm
22nd Jan 2025 8:57pm
Malicia McFee
Poor Malicia McFee
She drowned in bed, in solitary
A series of serious
Hot water bottle bursts
Caused Malicia to utter
A quite quiet silent curse
As a deluge of tepid water
Engulfed her in her sleep
She drowned quietly
Like an old ship
The rubber had proffered warmth
But no buoyancy
The quilt that had kept her safe
Now drowned her, beneath this tepid wave
Her lover had found her looking deflated
Although her lover, thought her much over-rated
He returned Malicia, to the town of her birth
Along with an unpaid...
She drowned in bed, in solitary
A series of serious
Hot water bottle bursts
Caused Malicia to utter
A quite quiet silent curse
As a deluge of tepid water
Engulfed her in her sleep
She drowned quietly
Like an old ship
The rubber had proffered warmth
But no buoyancy
The quilt that had kept her safe
Now drowned her, beneath this tepid wave
Her lover had found her looking deflated
Although her lover, thought her much over-rated
He returned Malicia, to the town of her birth
Along with an unpaid...
#funny
#satirical
#surreal
16 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
Windy Hollow!
More
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
31 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
19th Jan 2025 9:54pm
19th Jan 2025 9:54pm
The Lonely Sock!
This poor sock, was all alone
All kind of wind blown
I was told it was alone
Because it had wind!
And was thus teased with the name windsock!
Surely wind, like any of us
Would wear a pair of socks!
Does that thus mean
That wind
Also wears, underwear?
I suspect that
'Windy knickers'
And a 'windy bra'
Won't catch on
Or go very far!
by Jemia
All kind of wind blown
I was told it was alone
Because it had wind!
And was thus teased with the name windsock!
Surely wind, like any of us
Would wear a pair of socks!
Does that thus mean
That wind
Also wears, underwear?
I suspect that
'Windy knickers'
And a 'windy bra'
Won't catch on
Or go very far!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#wind
35 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Miss A Little!
Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
28 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Jan 2025 1:41pm
17th Jan 2025 1:41pm
Greetings Earthlings!
I sometimes wonder (i actually wonder a lot!)
If i'm actually an alien from a faraway world
If so, what is my reason/purpose on this planet?
Did i volunteer? was it a holiday destination
And therefore is planet earth, my Hotel California!
(Stop the world, i wanna get off!)
Or maybe i was sent here for the heinious crime of poeting!
Am i here for life? or will i be collected ET fashion?
But i fear interplanetary space travel
May set my vertigo off, as it scales new heights!
Fliggle woggle doop!
("I came in peace, but left in pieces!)...
If i'm actually an alien from a faraway world
If so, what is my reason/purpose on this planet?
Did i volunteer? was it a holiday destination
And therefore is planet earth, my Hotel California!
(Stop the world, i wanna get off!)
Or maybe i was sent here for the heinious crime of poeting!
Am i here for life? or will i be collected ET fashion?
But i fear interplanetary space travel
May set my vertigo off, as it scales new heights!
Fliggle woggle doop!
("I came in peace, but left in pieces!)...
#funny
#philosophical
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
22 reads
0 Comments
Girthquake
Poem Published
17th Jan 2025 7:44am
17th Jan 2025 7:44am
New Year
#BDSM
#dirty
#funny
#satirical
#sex
153 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Jan 2025 12:20pm
16th Jan 2025 12:20pm
Moon Madness!
I tried
To toast
The Wolf full moon
The other night
Goblet of mead in hand
But
No matter
How hard i tried
The moon simply
Would not fit
Into my toaster
So i had crumpet instead!
by Jemia
To toast
The Wolf full moon
The other night
Goblet of mead in hand
But
No matter
How hard i tried
The moon simply
Would not fit
Into my toaster
So i had crumpet instead!
by Jemia
#moon
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
33 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
12th Jan 2025 1:03pm
12th Jan 2025 1:03pm
'I' Blames The BBC!
Since when
Did the first letter I
Become silent
In the word medicine?
Now pronounced as: medcine
Therefore:
Medcine ball?
Medcine doctor etc?
It's wrong!
Bring back the 'I'
Let it live again!
Poor thing, being ghosted like that...
'I' blames the BBC!
by Jemia
Did the first letter I
Become silent
In the word medicine?
Now pronounced as: medcine
Therefore:
Medcine ball?
Medcine doctor etc?
It's wrong!
Bring back the 'I'
Let it live again!
Poor thing, being ghosted like that...
'I' blames the BBC!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#PowerOfWords #satirical
#PowerOfWords #satirical
48 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
Pats On The Back!
Discovered
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
26 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 12:55pm
9th Jan 2025 12:55pm
Some Like It To Hot!
I have an orgy every night!
With oft times three joining me
One either side, and one betwixt my thighs
Things get very hot, especially with all that rubber!
Hoping for no leakages, replacements come cheap
I once was joined by four!
Things got really hot!
So i limit my orgies to just three, and me!
Or sometimes a simple menage a troix
When i was younger
I used to make do with one, which was fun
But with age, tis all the rage
To become more adventurous
And no longer limit myself
On how many hot water bottles
I go to bed...
With oft times three joining me
One either side, and one betwixt my thighs
Things get very hot, especially with all that rubber!
Hoping for no leakages, replacements come cheap
I once was joined by four!
Things got really hot!
So i limit my orgies to just three, and me!
Or sometimes a simple menage a troix
When i was younger
I used to make do with one, which was fun
But with age, tis all the rage
To become more adventurous
And no longer limit myself
On how many hot water bottles
I go to bed...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #sexy
#satirical #sexy
56 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Cheeky!
I don't like bums!
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#PowerOfWords
#satirical
35 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Satirical Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
