Satirical Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#satirical
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
Runaways
I visited lost property
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
18 reads
0 Comments
DevilsChild
Poem Published
2nd Nov 2024 8:26am
2nd Nov 2024 8:26am
For The Art of It
I wrote a poem
then I picked up a guitar
sang a couple lines
holy shit
that's a hit!
Jimmy Iovine is now looking at me
like I'm a chick with big tits
because there's money to be made
just not for the artist
getting clicks on Spotify
making hits
more like turning tricks
for your business daddy
took a few months
but I finally finished a book
it was the kind that enchants your mind
the buzz is going round
now Jeff Bezos is calling me up
Like he wants to fuck
I figure why not
but...
then I picked up a guitar
sang a couple lines
holy shit
that's a hit!
Jimmy Iovine is now looking at me
like I'm a chick with big tits
because there's money to be made
just not for the artist
getting clicks on Spotify
making hits
more like turning tricks
for your business daddy
took a few months
but I finally finished a book
it was the kind that enchants your mind
the buzz is going round
now Jeff Bezos is calling me up
Like he wants to fuck
I figure why not
but...
#greed
#satirical
77 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd Nov 2024 00:34am
2nd Nov 2024 00:34am
Talking Pigeon
I went to see my doctor
she said "how are your stools?"
"Very comfy thanks!"
"Although, one has a strange colour
in the padding"
She looked at me aghast, and appalled
I
Still misinterpretting her meaning
And puzzled at her reaction
Said
"I also have a three legged one for milking
not that i use it , as i don't have a cow!"
She asked me what on earth i was talking about
As she had never heard of a three legged cow
I said "no no no no no!"
"It's my stools with the...
she said "how are your stools?"
"Very comfy thanks!"
"Although, one has a strange colour
in the padding"
She looked at me aghast, and appalled
I
Still misinterpretting her meaning
And puzzled at her reaction
Said
"I also have a three legged one for milking
not that i use it , as i don't have a cow!"
She asked me what on earth i was talking about
As she had never heard of a three legged cow
I said "no no no no no!"
"It's my stools with the...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
26 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
1st Nov 2024 3:32pm
1st Nov 2024 3:32pm
Cheesed Off
Shredder
of
cheddar
A
gorgeous
gorge,
gorged,
not
forged
Rarebit,
not
rabbit!
by Jemia
of
cheddar
A
gorgeous
gorge,
gorged,
not
forged
Rarebit,
not
rabbit!
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#satirical
33 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
31st Oct 2024 9:46pm
31st Oct 2024 9:46pm
Twiglet
Little
stick
insect
Does
one
bite
it's
small
head
off
Like
jelly
babies?
by Jemia
stick
insect
Does
one
bite
it's
small
head
off
Like
jelly
babies?
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical
36 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
31st Oct 2024 00:12am
31st Oct 2024 00:12am
No(n)sense?
I sensed an ounce of sense
It cost me fifty pence
Not to be senseless
But this sense was nonsense
So still no sense
And now ive lost my fifty pence
Which is far better
Than losing fifty pens
And have nothing to write with
But still make no sense!
by Jemia
It cost me fifty pence
Not to be senseless
But this sense was nonsense
So still no sense
And now ive lost my fifty pence
Which is far better
Than losing fifty pens
And have nothing to write with
But still make no sense!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
23 reads
0 Comments
SweetKittyCat5
Poem Published
30th Oct 2024 4:27pm
30th Oct 2024 4:27pm
Drifting Through A Billowing Cloud Of Smoke
Ahh… just let me smoke on your vibe a little bit here, papi
You done bust down my firewall here
I been giving you the peaks and the deep valleys of the cream of my crown
Letting you slide deep in the halo of my divine passage night after night
Leaving you high with your mind touching the helm of the skies
And something has to give you keep bellowing my soul in those clouds of yours
I would pass you this blunt, but I do not smoke
Just lit to illuminate your path through life ...
You done bust down my firewall here
I been giving you the peaks and the deep valleys of the cream of my crown
Letting you slide deep in the halo of my divine passage night after night
Leaving you high with your mind touching the helm of the skies
And something has to give you keep bellowing my soul in those clouds of yours
I would pass you this blunt, but I do not smoke
Just lit to illuminate your path through life ...
#dialogue
#funny
#satirical
170 reads
8 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Oct 2024 10:49pm
29th Oct 2024 10:49pm
Quickies!
Erotic
Haikus
Poetic
equivalent
Wham,
bam,
thank
you
mam!
by Jemia
Haikus
Poetic
equivalent
Wham,
bam,
thank
you
mam!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#sex
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Oct 2024 5:58pm
28th Oct 2024 5:58pm
Busy At Heists!
The Cat Holic, was addicted to cats
The Protest Ant
Was anti Cat Holics
The Cat Holics
Considered that the Protest Ants
Were pants
And reciprocated
Their mutual dislike
Meanwhile...
Bank robbers, and the like
Didn't like either the Cat Holics
Nor the Protest Ants
But didn't have time for such shenanigans
As they were busy At Heists
by Jemia
The Protest Ant
Was anti Cat Holics
The Cat Holics
Considered that the Protest Ants
Were pants
And reciprocated
Their mutual dislike
Meanwhile...
Bank robbers, and the like
Didn't like either the Cat Holics
Nor the Protest Ants
But didn't have time for such shenanigans
As they were busy At Heists
by Jemia
#identity
#LifeAsAWriter
#PowerOfWords #satirical
#PowerOfWords #satirical
34 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
27th Oct 2024 00:31am
27th Oct 2024 00:31am
A Caper On Paper!
It's
been
a
good
day
For
writing
bad
poetry
Pen,
paper,
caper
by Jemia
been
a
good
day
For
writing
bad
poetry
Pen,
paper,
caper
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
48 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Oct 2024 3:14am
26th Oct 2024 3:14am
Old Flame
Guy
Pheonix
Fawkes
Set
alight
every
year
Comes
back
with
a
bang!
by Jemia
Pheonix
Fawkes
Set
alight
every
year
Comes
back
with
a
bang!
by Jemia
#funny
#rebellion
#satirical
33 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Oct 2024 1:26am
26th Oct 2024 1:26am
Eve All
Eve
showed
up
For
the
Halloween
party
Everyone
said
"Hello
Eve!"
So
we
named
this
night
All
hello's
Eve!
by Jemia
showed
up
For
the
Halloween
party
Everyone
said
"Hello
Eve!"
So
we
named
this
night
All
hello's
Eve!
by Jemia
#funny
#Halloween
#satirical
33 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Satirical Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
