Limerick Seeking Honest Critique Poems
#limerick
Wafflenose
Ellie
Ellie
Poem Published
20th Apr 2025 10:32pm
20th Apr 2025 10:32pm
An additional puzzle
Take a cubed number 'tween one and nine,
then cube THAT one... go on, you'll be fine!
Subtract this: (four times seven),
÷ by two, then eleven;
write your total down, then put this sign: ÷
For the next part, we'll start with a four.
Find its square root, then add on one more.
Cube your total; take two;
add both digits, then you
have the next part of what is in store!
I'm sorry if this has been tough—
we don't do much maths off-the-cuff!
Just put LARGE over SMALL
(it's division, that's all!);
first four digits...
then cube THAT one... go on, you'll be fine!
Subtract this: (four times seven),
÷ by two, then eleven;
write your total down, then put this sign: ÷
For the next part, we'll start with a four.
Find its square root, then add on one more.
Cube your total; take two;
add both digits, then you
have the next part of what is in store!
I'm sorry if this has been tough—
we don't do much maths off-the-cuff!
Just put LARGE over SMALL
(it's division, that's all!);
first four digits...
#limerick
#rhyming
28 reads
0 Comments
LostViking
Lost Viking
Lost Viking
Poem Published
15th Feb 2025 5:04pm
15th Feb 2025 5:04pm
Lady Named Lacy
There once was a lady named Lacy
But all of the men called her racy
She liked to fuck fast
So the men couldn’t last
But they all said her pussy was tasty
But all of the men called her racy
She liked to fuck fast
So the men couldn’t last
But they all said her pussy was tasty
#dirty
#limerick
#sex
214 reads
1 Comment
LostViking
Lost Viking
Lost Viking
Poem Published
14th Dec 2024 2:15pm
14th Dec 2024 2:15pm
Neighborly Old Maid
There once was a young man so bold,
His neighbor he solemnly told,
Her old down-home views
Were often misused
Or was she just stubborn and old?
He thought that she must be quite lonely,
With affection he acted quite phony.
To her he was kind
And she didn’t mind
She’d always been thought of as homely.
She fell for his charm and his wit,
One night while he sucked on her tits.
He was quite the buck
So she asked him to fuck
He jumped on and fucked her to bits.
His neighbor he solemnly told,
Her old down-home views
Were often misused
Or was she just stubborn and old?
He thought that she must be quite lonely,
With affection he acted quite phony.
To her he was kind
And she didn’t mind
She’d always been thought of as homely.
She fell for his charm and his wit,
One night while he sucked on her tits.
He was quite the buck
So she asked him to fuck
He jumped on and fucked her to bits.
#aging
#limerick
#sex
168 reads
1 Comment
MidnightSonneteer
Poem Published
26th Nov 2024 11:13pm
26th Nov 2024 11:13pm
Supremacist PTSD
Captain America's ship of state
was hijacked for an apartheid fate
all because of trauma
from the young Obama
and the love in 2000 and 8
was hijacked for an apartheid fate
all because of trauma
from the young Obama
and the love in 2000 and 8
#limerick
146 reads
6 Comments
MidnightSonneteer
Poem Published
17th Nov 2024 3:29pm
17th Nov 2024 3:29pm
Evolutions
In a butcher and clockmaker tryst
their scion anon gave skills a twist
when gears put together
in slaughterhouse weather
made her a meaty-horologist.
their scion anon gave skills a twist
when gears put together
in slaughterhouse weather
made her a meaty-horologist.
#limerick
220 reads
8 Comments
MySmile
Besma
Besma
Poem Published
3rd Oct 2024 9:49pm
3rd Oct 2024 9:49pm
Mrs Doubtfire And Mr Bloomfield
Mrs Doubtfire
There was an old woman named Doubtfire
Who dreamed to own and rule an empire
What if she could marry
Young why would she hurry
She broke the rule and had to retire.
Mr Bloomfield
There was a young man whose name Bloomfield
For his family he was a shield
He suffered a burnout
With a huge pain of doubt
Bloomfield and Doubtfire caught in the field.
There was an old woman named Doubtfire
Who dreamed to own and rule an empire
What if she could marry
Young why would she hurry
She broke the rule and had to retire.
Mr Bloomfield
There was a young man whose name Bloomfield
For his family he was a shield
He suffered a burnout
With a huge pain of doubt
Bloomfield and Doubtfire caught in the field.
#funny
#limerick
#parody
120 reads
2 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
2nd Oct 2024 1:51pm
2nd Oct 2024 1:51pm
Some Funny Wisdom
Ant and grasshopper
The grasshopper spent the summer singing
Winter came, he went to friend ant begging
Sweet ant, can you give me a bite?
Bite !? bite your lower lip, now Scat !!!
Mate, you take your guitar, and start dancing
Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
She started with soprano
it sounded like volcano
That Oum Kaltoum woke up from her tomb
The grasshopper spent the summer singing
Winter came, he went to friend ant begging
Sweet ant, can you give me a bite?
Bite !? bite your lower lip, now Scat !!!
Mate, you take your guitar, and start dancing
Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
She started with soprano
it sounded like volcano
That Oum Kaltoum woke up from her tomb
#funny
#limerick
#parody
118 reads
8 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
30th Sep 2024 1:29pm
30th Sep 2024 1:29pm
Oh, Juliet !
when Romance and Reality collide
Did you milk the goat Juliet?
oh, dear romeo , not yet,
what about the cow?
well, i don't know how
Go milk Shakespeare's sonnets
**********
There was a man named Xypothalasus
who had sickness in the hypothalamus
he was always gaping
in the pond, and lazing
He was just feeling like hippopotamus
**********
Who's the sterile hen?
A rooster divorced his sterile hen
the hen went to marry another man
she fathered chicks, however
the...
Did you milk the goat Juliet?
oh, dear romeo , not yet,
what about the cow?
well, i don't know how
Go milk Shakespeare's sonnets
**********
There was a man named Xypothalasus
who had sickness in the hypothalamus
he was always gaping
in the pond, and lazing
He was just feeling like hippopotamus
**********
Who's the sterile hen?
A rooster divorced his sterile hen
the hen went to marry another man
she fathered chicks, however
the...
#funny
#limerick
#metaphor
106 reads
2 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
28th Sep 2024 3:09pm
28th Sep 2024 3:09pm
Poetic Proses with dumb limericks
Dien Bien Phu
there was a man from fhu shang whoo !!
who fought in the war dien bien phu
when the war was over
he could then discover
that he had been stuck in water loo !
Nonsense
there was a man from kerder fring
who farthed in the worder tring
now, he's a phander fish
on the swinder second slish
hey ,! did you understand any thing ???
Grammar
i don't know why IS comes from BE''
and why WENT is GO if you see ?
there is an explanation,
like i don't...
there was a man from fhu shang whoo !!
who fought in the war dien bien phu
when the war was over
he could then discover
that he had been stuck in water loo !
Nonsense
there was a man from kerder fring
who farthed in the worder tring
now, he's a phander fish
on the swinder second slish
hey ,! did you understand any thing ???
Grammar
i don't know why IS comes from BE''
and why WENT is GO if you see ?
there is an explanation,
like i don't...
#funny
#limerick
#metaphor #ShortStory
#metaphor #ShortStory
110 reads
1 Comment
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
26th Sep 2024 2:57pm
26th Sep 2024 2:57pm
Dumb stories for the smart ones
Virtual boy
two young lovers made internet marriage
the party held in a spider's carriage
but, then they never met
married over the net
had a virtual boy of miscarriage
Golden belly
a women made a medical scanner
in her body something abnormal
the doctor screamed like hell:
" there is gold. i can tell !!! "
so, i must dig deep in your stomach
Rehearsals
the teacher shouted out in the classroom
i need this to be written out too soon
and there was dead silence
a...
two young lovers made internet marriage
the party held in a spider's carriage
but, then they never met
married over the net
had a virtual boy of miscarriage
Golden belly
a women made a medical scanner
in her body something abnormal
the doctor screamed like hell:
" there is gold. i can tell !!! "
so, i must dig deep in your stomach
Rehearsals
the teacher shouted out in the classroom
i need this to be written out too soon
and there was dead silence
a...
#fiction
#funny
#limerick
116 reads
5 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
25th Sep 2024 3:45pm
25th Sep 2024 3:45pm
Some Limericks For The Quick Fun
Numeric
she asked me, do you write limericks ?
yes, i answered, and they are numeric
i counted the syllables
same with the variables;
eventually, it sounded like Mathematics
the dead don't complain
a driver hit two men on the street
one dead, the other broke in the hit
he got up and complained
and the driver explained:
look ! your dead friend is calm in his seat
deep echoes
when he saw his tooth the dentist then yelled
oh ! this is hell, oh ! this is hell !
-why...
she asked me, do you write limericks ?
yes, i answered, and they are numeric
i counted the syllables
same with the variables;
eventually, it sounded like Mathematics
the dead don't complain
a driver hit two men on the street
one dead, the other broke in the hit
he got up and complained
and the driver explained:
look ! your dead friend is calm in his seat
deep echoes
when he saw his tooth the dentist then yelled
oh ! this is hell, oh ! this is hell !
-why...
#funny
#limerick
85 reads
0 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
24th Sep 2024 8:24pm
24th Sep 2024 8:24pm
Nose Like Cigar
A woman with a tall nose like cigar
Who has never smoked one so far
Once she was invited
A cigar to be smoked
She stuck out her nose in the bar
PS/ Before poking fun at others, one should first take care of his hump in the mirror
Who has never smoked one so far
Once she was invited
A cigar to be smoked
She stuck out her nose in the bar
PS/ Before poking fun at others, one should first take care of his hump in the mirror
#limerick
99 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Seeking Honest Critique Poems
