Limerick Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#limerick
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
18 reads
0 Comments
In A Pickle
There once was a man Mcfuddle
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny
48 reads
1 Comment
Limericks
My physicist father once said
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
#limerick
60 reads
0 Comments
Disclaimer: these Dirty Limericks are for a competition and are not representative of my work.
There was a young Beau from limerick
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
#porn
#limerick
#dirty
256 reads
0 Comments
Sean, Not Unshorn (Limerick)
There once was a young man
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
73 reads
0 Comments
Bareback!
#BDSM
#limerick
#funny
204 reads
2 Comments
Something Surely Afoot?
There once was an Abominable Snowman from Brighton
Its tourists it tried to enlighten
It got covered in confetti
Then mistaken for a Yeti
Its Big Foot is the thing that did frighten!
by Jemia
Its tourists it tried to enlighten
It got covered in confetti
Then mistaken for a Yeti
Its Big Foot is the thing that did frighten!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#mythology #surreal
#mythology #surreal
66 reads
1 Comment
No Balls
There once was a lady of the old town
Her bar billiards, caused many to frown
She kept hitting the sticks
No points did she nick
As she had no balls to put down
by Jemia
Her bar billiards, caused many to frown
She kept hitting the sticks
No points did she nick
As she had no balls to put down
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
91 reads
1 Comment
4 line poem
4 lines
Dry straw piled high
On a horse-drawn wagon
The mare was asleep
Dreaming of clover
Dry straw piled high
On a horse-drawn wagon
The mare was asleep
Dreaming of clover
#limerick
#acrostic
#FreeVerse
#quatrain
#paradelle
133 reads
0 Comments
"There's A Bear In The Park?"
There was a young Art In The Park
Whose bite, was Worse than it's bark!
One day on the green
A life model was seen
Declaring "It's only for a bit of a lark!"
by Jemia
Whose bite, was Worse than it's bark!
One day on the green
A life model was seen
Declaring "It's only for a bit of a lark!"
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
113 reads
0 Comments
Annie and Frank
Annie Oakley was quite a good shot
And old photos reveal, she was hot
Cowboys hit on poor Ann
But that gun in her hand
Kept those randy dudes clear of her slot!
When a cowpoke got drunk on some beer
And then grabbed Annie’s tight derriere
She drew down on his crotch
And as everyone watched—
Annie turned that dude into a steer!
But that was before she met Frank—
Famous marksman with coin in the bank!
Annie saw, he was hung
So she ‘holstered’ his ‘gun’—
Then she taught him to ride her ‘bare-back!’
...
And old photos reveal, she was hot
Cowboys hit on poor Ann
But that gun in her hand
Kept those randy dudes clear of her slot!
When a cowpoke got drunk on some beer
And then grabbed Annie’s tight derriere
She drew down on his crotch
And as everyone watched—
Annie turned that dude into a steer!
But that was before she met Frank—
Famous marksman with coin in the bank!
Annie saw, he was hung
So she ‘holstered’ his ‘gun’—
Then she taught him to ride her ‘bare-back!’
...
#sex
#limerick
#funny
219 reads
4 Comments
Ant I Thesis!
I once knew an ant, called Brilli
Who was born, it is said, in Caerphilly
She found it a squeeze
When she got cheese on her knees
Brilli Ant was actually quite silly
by Jemia
Who was born, it is said, in Caerphilly
She found it a squeeze
When she got cheese on her knees
Brilli Ant was actually quite silly
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
273 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Seeking Friendly Advice Poems