Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
Time To Relax
Poetic Injustice
People tell me i am romantic
Sometimes, i even look pathetic
They just see Jekyll's grace
But, i Hyde the real face
The victims know my serial tactic
**********
A Voice Like Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
she first tried soprano
it was like volcano
that Oum KAlktoum woke up from her tomb
People tell me i am romantic
Sometimes, i even look pathetic
They just see Jekyll's grace
But, i Hyde the real face
The victims know my serial tactic
**********
A Voice Like Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
she first tried soprano
it was like volcano
that Oum KAlktoum woke up from her tomb
#limerick
31 reads
2 Comments
The Seagull Connoisseur
There once was a seagull
of Hastings
Had no time
for time wastings
When tourists
were about
He let out
a seagull shout
Then steal their food
for nice tastings!
by Jemia
of Hastings
Had no time
for time wastings
When tourists
were about
He let out
a seagull shout
Then steal their food
for nice tastings!
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny
24 reads
0 Comments
Bamoon!
There once was an old man
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
of the moon
Who behaved as a bit
of a loon
One day
when full
He'd give a
werewolf call
But sounded more like
a baboon!
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
31 reads
1 Comment
Plage de la Batterie
#BDSM
#limerick
#funny
74 reads
2 Comments
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
40 reads
1 Comment
A Not So Pleasant Experience
When a carnival comes to town
Cotton candy, makeup for the clowns
Don’t eat before a ride
Puking, people should hide
Always drink plenty of water.
Cotton candy, makeup for the clowns
Don’t eat before a ride
Puking, people should hide
Always drink plenty of water.
#limerick
55 reads
8 Comments
In A Pickle
There once was a man Mcfuddle
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
Who got himself into a muddle
He made himself a jerkin
Out of an out of date gherkin
And got in a bit of a pickle
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny
53 reads
1 Comment
Reindeer Game
#holiday
#limerick
124 reads
4 Comments
Horny Mother-to-Be
I’m one horny mother-to-be
It’s nothing that I could foresee
Men say that I glow
But all that I know is
My tits are now something to see
It’s nothing that I could foresee
Men say that I glow
But all that I know is
My tits are now something to see
#lust
#limerick
#pregnancy
204 reads
6 Comments
Limericks
My physicist father once said
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
#limerick
67 reads
0 Comments
Disclaimer: these Dirty Limericks are for a competition and are not representative of my work.
There was a young Beau from limerick
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try...
#limerick
#porn
#dirty
270 reads
0 Comments
Sean, Not Unshorn (Limerick)
There once was a young man
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
77 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems