Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
A Lady Of Hastings (Limerick!)
There was a young lady of Hastings
Who tried some artistic pastings
It went all askew
When she got covered in glue
That stuck up lady of Hastings
by Jemia
Who tried some artistic pastings
It went all askew
When she got covered in glue
That stuck up lady of Hastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
17 reads
0 Comments
God's Horniest Creature
I once had a girlfriend named Suzy
I remember her being quite loosie
That girl liked to fuck
In the back of my truck
Loved to get hold of her pussy
I found out she married a preacher
Probably thinks he can teach her
But she’ll never stop
She fucked like a clock
Now she’s God’s horniest creature
I remember her being quite loosie
That girl liked to fuck
In the back of my truck
Loved to get hold of her pussy
I found out she married a preacher
Probably thinks he can teach her
But she’ll never stop
She fucked like a clock
Now she’s God’s horniest creature
#sex
#limerick
#funny
59 reads
3 Comments
Algorithmic Meat-Machines
There was a young man who considered
just who is this “I” in a dither? —
I’m making decisions
an act of derision
by shrinking my “self” to a slither.
just who is this “I” in a dither? —
I’m making decisions
an act of derision
by shrinking my “self” to a slither.
#identity
#limerick
#SelfReflection #HumanRights
#SelfReflection #HumanRights
70 reads
15 Comments
Inadequate?

#limerick
#funny
14 reads
5 Comments
Front to Back

#limerick
#funny
#orgasm
19 reads
1 Comment
I Once New a Lady Named Laney

#sex
#limerick
77 reads
2 Comments
Onliest Choice
When she said, “He’s the one I will wed”
Her momma said, “Girl, use your head!
He’s the kind to avoid
Because he’s unemployed
Best to marry that farm boy instead!"
“But ma, he’s my onliest choice—
Because he’s a man amongst boys!”
Then she showed her ma why
By unzipping his fly
And her momma began to rejoice!
Momma sang, “What a Log! Glory Be!
Precious Lord, it hangs clear to his knees!
That boy’s hung like a bull!”
Then she gave it pull
It took papa to pry her hand free!
Her momma said, “Girl, use your head!
He’s the kind to avoid
Because he’s unemployed
Best to marry that farm boy instead!"
“But ma, he’s my onliest choice—
Because he’s a man amongst boys!”
Then she showed her ma why
By unzipping his fly
And her momma began to rejoice!
Momma sang, “What a Log! Glory Be!
Precious Lord, it hangs clear to his knees!
That boy’s hung like a bull!”
Then she gave it pull
It took papa to pry her hand free!
#sex
#limerick
#funny
7 reads
1 Comment
P-Whipped
The floozie aggressively flirted
To P-whip me ‘till I was turgid
So I slapped her around
Before ‘Going Downtown’
As she writhed and she moaned and she squirted!
To P-whip me ‘till I was turgid
So I slapped her around
Before ‘Going Downtown’
As she writhed and she moaned and she squirted!
#sex
#limerick
#funny
10 reads
3 Comments
That Day in the Gym

#sex
#limerick
#funny
14 reads
4 Comments
Ma's Packin' Heat!
Cause her girl had a figure too sweet
Her ol’ Ma started packin’ some heat
With two barrels at hand
Horny bastards were banned
From gettin’ too close fer a peek!
Poor ol’ Uncle was quite a nice gent
But he couldn’t resist female scent
So she’d tease and she’d flirt
And she’d lift up her skirt
Pussy-whipping the man in torment!
When ol’ Ma overheard lusty giggles
She caught Uncle lickin’ bare nipples
In horror he watched
Ma lift shotgun to crotch—
The blast left him a peckerless cripple!
Her ol’ Ma started packin’ some heat
With two barrels at hand
Horny bastards were banned
From gettin’ too close fer a peek!
Poor ol’ Uncle was quite a nice gent
But he couldn’t resist female scent
So she’d tease and she’d flirt
And she’d lift up her skirt
Pussy-whipping the man in torment!
When ol’ Ma overheard lusty giggles
She caught Uncle lickin’ bare nipples
In horror he watched
Ma lift shotgun to crotch—
The blast left him a peckerless cripple!
#BDSM
#limerick
#funny
8 reads
2 Comments
Sucking The Claus

#BDSM
#Christmas
#limerick
19 reads
3 Comments
I prefer a women with hair

#sex
#limerick
#funny
133 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems