Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
Self_helpDarling
Poem Published
17th May 2020 3:26am
17th May 2020 3:26am
Priorities
I lay splayed on this rubber bed
The wax it is melted then spread
And ripped from my skin
With a flick of the wrist
My pussy left soft and red
The wax it is melted then spread
And ripped from my skin
With a flick of the wrist
My pussy left soft and red
#women
#rhyming
#limerick
50 reads
4 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
5th Apr 2020 4:21am
5th Apr 2020 4:21am
Third Base
From the day of my birth, as a noob
I was keenly aware of their boobs
But as I grew older
My interest dropped lower
And now, I’m obsessed with their pubes!
As a youngster, my neighbor next door
Hiked her skirt up, and pulled down her drawers
Confused, I asked where
She was hiding her pair
And I made her get down on all fours
Then I probed and I prodded her ass
As I searched for some masculine mass
But no penis was found
And no balls were around
Still confused, I exclaimed, “Not so fast!”
“I think you...
I was keenly aware of their boobs
But as I grew older
My interest dropped lower
And now, I’m obsessed with their pubes!
As a youngster, my neighbor next door
Hiked her skirt up, and pulled down her drawers
Confused, I asked where
She was hiding her pair
And I made her get down on all fours
Then I probed and I prodded her ass
As I searched for some masculine mass
But no penis was found
And no balls were around
Still confused, I exclaimed, “Not so fast!”
“I think you...
#childhood
#BDSM
#limerick
134 reads
3 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
23rd Mar 2020 00:46am
23rd Mar 2020 00:46am
The Chinese Virus
In the Wuhan wet market scene
Where bats are considered cuisine
There came a disease
Thanks to the Chinese
The deadly covid-19
There is no known vaccine
So keep your hands nice n’ clean
And don't touch your face
In case there's a trace
On your fingers of covid-19
It’s more infectious than Charlie Sheen
More invasive than Harvey Weinstein
So self isolate
To slow down the rate
Of the spread of covid-19
Who’d ever thought that poor hygiene
Could crash the economic machine
Now...
Where bats are considered cuisine
There came a disease
Thanks to the Chinese
The deadly covid-19
There is no known vaccine
So keep your hands nice n’ clean
And don't touch your face
In case there's a trace
On your fingers of covid-19
It’s more infectious than Charlie Sheen
More invasive than Harvey Weinstein
So self isolate
To slow down the rate
Of the spread of covid-19
Who’d ever thought that poor hygiene
Could crash the economic machine
Now...
#war
#limerick
#funny
#illness
#pandemic
107 reads
4 Comments
Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
jade tiger
Poem Published
21st Feb 2020 3:53am
21st Feb 2020 3:53am
Was It The Dublin Coddle
( going out on a Limerick )
There once was a copper named Bart
‘Twas famous the way he could fart,
Locals thought it obscene
How he’d pile on the beans,
The crowd all said ‘He must be smart!’
He seemed to be bless’d from the start
Bart turned pooting into an art,
So on St Paddy’s Day
We were happy and gay,
A party there’d be a la carte.
The town planners made it a gift
And foot the bill due to the thrift,
All the ladies would make
Shepherd’s pie,...
There once was a copper named Bart
‘Twas famous the way he could fart,
Locals thought it obscene
How he’d pile on the beans,
The crowd all said ‘He must be smart!’
He seemed to be bless’d from the start
Bart turned pooting into an art,
So on St Paddy’s Day
We were happy and gay,
A party there’d be a la carte.
The town planners made it a gift
And foot the bill due to the thrift,
All the ladies would make
Shepherd’s pie,...
#food
#limerick
#funny
#culture
#tradition
140 reads
20 Comments
Kinkpoet
Poem Published
18th Feb 2020 1:55am
18th Feb 2020 1:55am
CunFronted
#limerick
#funny
#dirty
337 reads
3 Comments
Kinkpoet
Poem Published
17th Feb 2020 2:25pm
17th Feb 2020 2:25pm
Sex On The Brain
#BDSM
#limerick
#funny
444 reads
6 Comments
David_Macleod
Poem Published
3rd Feb 2020 2:28am
3rd Feb 2020 2:28am
Bawdy Limericks III (From Nantucket With Lust)
#limerick
#dirty
190 reads
4 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
31st Dec 2019 4:08pm
31st Dec 2019 4:08pm
My Last Wet Dream
#BDSM
#limerick
#funny
365 reads
6 Comments
Ammonite
Bumped 15th Nov 2019 2:28am
12th Mar 2019 11:36am
12th Mar 2019 11:36am
Lord Pym's Limerick
A debutante said to Lord Pym:
"Does your wife keep champagne in her quim?"
He replied: "No such luck,"
"Do you fart when you fuck?"
And he thought that was ten points to him.
"Does your wife keep champagne in her quim?"
He replied: "No such luck,"
"Do you fart when you fuck?"
And he thought that was ten points to him.
#limerick
#dirty
231 reads
6 Comments
wallyroo92
Poem Published
11th Nov 2019 1:03am
11th Nov 2019 1:03am
Jackie the Ripper
#evil
#limerick
#revenge
194 reads
0 Comments
Ely
E.A.Rothwell
E.A.Rothwell
Poem Published
6th Nov 2019 5:20pm
6th Nov 2019 5:20pm
The Lout... Limerick
There once was a young man, a lout
thought it manly to gross women out
He thought it was sexy
to waggle his dick, he
blew raspberries, tongue sticking out.
thought it manly to gross women out
He thought it was sexy
to waggle his dick, he
blew raspberries, tongue sticking out.
#limerick
#ignorance
115 reads
2 Comments
Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
jade tiger
Poem Published
28th Oct 2019 12:42pm
28th Oct 2019 12:42pm
From Case Files Dark as Night
To start off with, po’et Paul Ruddy,
Who wrote all his dark po’ems bloody:
Took a penknife in hand
And went straight for the gland—
A curious writer to study.
The next in my files, name of Bobby,
He murdered his prose as a hobby:
Slit each plot in the neck,
Ev’ry one hit the deck,
Never knew where he hid the body.
I’ll skip to the writer Saul Biddy,
Was born and had died in the city:
Homicide he would write,
Lots of killing in spite
Was...
Who wrote all his dark po’ems bloody:
Took a penknife in hand
And went straight for the gland—
A curious writer to study.
The next in my files, name of Bobby,
He murdered his prose as a hobby:
Slit each plot in the neck,
Ev’ry one hit the deck,
Never knew where he hid the body.
I’ll skip to the writer Saul Biddy,
Was born and had died in the city:
Homicide he would write,
Lots of killing in spite
Was...
#dark
#murder
#limerick #LifeAsAWriter
#limerick #LifeAsAWriter
151 reads
10 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems
