Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
LostViking
Lost Viking
Lost Viking
Poem Published
14th Dec 2024 2:15pm
14th Dec 2024 2:15pm
Neighborly Old Maid
There once was a young man so bold,
His neighbor he solemnly told,
Her old down-home views
Were often misused
Or was she just stubborn and old?
He thought that she must be quite lonely,
With affection he acted quite phony.
To her he was kind
And she didn’t mind
She’d always been thought of as homely.
She fell for his charm and his wit,
One night while he sucked on her tits.
He was quite the buck
So she asked him to fuck
He jumped on and fucked her to bits.
His neighbor he solemnly told,
Her old down-home views
Were often misused
Or was she just stubborn and old?
He thought that she must be quite lonely,
With affection he acted quite phony.
To her he was kind
And she didn’t mind
She’d always been thought of as homely.
She fell for his charm and his wit,
One night while he sucked on her tits.
He was quite the buck
So she asked him to fuck
He jumped on and fucked her to bits.
#aging
#limerick
#sex
121 reads
1 Comment
MidnightSonneteer
Poem Published
26th Nov 2024 11:13pm
26th Nov 2024 11:13pm
Supremacist PTSD
Captain America's ship of state
was hijacked for an apartheid fate
all because of trauma
from the young Obama
and the love in 2000 and 8
was hijacked for an apartheid fate
all because of trauma
from the young Obama
and the love in 2000 and 8
#limerick
118 reads
6 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Nov 2024 5:25pm
23rd Nov 2024 5:25pm
Crying, But Not Crying (limerick)
There was a young lady
called Jemia
Her humour sometimes
could be dire
One day
for a joke
She wore
a great cloak
Whilst pretending to be
the Town Cryer!
by Jemia
called Jemia
Her humour sometimes
could be dire
One day
for a joke
She wore
a great cloak
Whilst pretending to be
the Town Cryer!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#limerick #satirical
#limerick #satirical
58 reads
0 Comments
MidnightSonneteer
Poem Published
17th Nov 2024 3:29pm
17th Nov 2024 3:29pm
Evolutions
In a butcher and clockmaker tryst
their scion anon gave skills a twist
when gears put together
in slaughterhouse weather
made her a meaty...horologist.
their scion anon gave skills a twist
when gears put together
in slaughterhouse weather
made her a meaty...horologist.
#limerick
165 reads
8 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 2:11am
4th Nov 2024 2:11am
Rapidly Rapid
There once a bar owner
called David
On a full moon would
turn a bit rabid
He wore green bottles
on his ceiling
Which were certainly
quite appealing
As the drink flowed
at a rate that was rapid
by Jemia
called David
On a full moon would
turn a bit rabid
He wore green bottles
on his ceiling
Which were certainly
quite appealing
As the drink flowed
at a rate that was rapid
by Jemia
#alcohol
#LifeAsAWriter
#limerick
42 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
Three Months Hard Labour
There is a young bar
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
#funny
#historical
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
42 reads
0 Comments
MySmile
Besma
Besma
Poem Published
3rd Oct 2024 9:49pm
3rd Oct 2024 9:49pm
Mrs Doubtfire And Mr Bloomfield
Mrs Doubtfire
There was an old woman named Doubtfire
Who dreamed to own and rule an empire
What if she could marry
Young why would she hurry
She broke the rule and had to retire.
Mr Bloomfield
There was a young man whose name Bloomfield
For his family he was a shield
He suffered a burnout
With a huge pain of doubt
Bloomfield and Doubtfire caught in the field.
There was an old woman named Doubtfire
Who dreamed to own and rule an empire
What if she could marry
Young why would she hurry
She broke the rule and had to retire.
Mr Bloomfield
There was a young man whose name Bloomfield
For his family he was a shield
He suffered a burnout
With a huge pain of doubt
Bloomfield and Doubtfire caught in the field.
#funny
#limerick
#parody
84 reads
2 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
2nd Oct 2024 1:51pm
2nd Oct 2024 1:51pm
Some Funny Wisdom
Ant and grasshopper
The grasshopper spent the summer singing
Winter came, he went to friend ant begging
Sweet ant, can you give me a bite?
Bite !? bite your lower lip, now Scat !!!
Mate, you take your guitar, and start dancing
Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
She started with soprano
it sounded like volcano
That Oum Kaltoum woke up from her tomb
The grasshopper spent the summer singing
Winter came, he went to friend ant begging
Sweet ant, can you give me a bite?
Bite !? bite your lower lip, now Scat !!!
Mate, you take your guitar, and start dancing
Volcano
There once was a woman from Khartoum
Who wanted to sing like Oum Kaltoum
She started with soprano
it sounded like volcano
That Oum Kaltoum woke up from her tomb
#funny
#limerick
#parody
90 reads
8 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
30th Sep 2024 1:29pm
30th Sep 2024 1:29pm
Oh, Juliet !
when Romance and Reality collide
Did you milk the goat Juliet?
oh, dear romeo , not yet,
what about the cow?
well, i don't know how
Go milk Shakespeare's sonnets
**********
There was a man named Xypothalasus
who had sickness in the hypothalamus
he was always gaping
in the pond, and lazing
He was just feeling like hippopotamus
**********
Who's the sterile hen?
A rooster divorced his sterile hen
the hen went to marry another man
she fathered chicks, however
the...
Did you milk the goat Juliet?
oh, dear romeo , not yet,
what about the cow?
well, i don't know how
Go milk Shakespeare's sonnets
**********
There was a man named Xypothalasus
who had sickness in the hypothalamus
he was always gaping
in the pond, and lazing
He was just feeling like hippopotamus
**********
Who's the sterile hen?
A rooster divorced his sterile hen
the hen went to marry another man
she fathered chicks, however
the...
#funny
#limerick
#metaphor
75 reads
2 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
29th Sep 2024 8:53pm
29th Sep 2024 8:53pm
Please, rest in PIece
A man had a fight with his wife last evening
he left a paper " wake me up at seven morning "
when he woke up too late
he found a written note:
" wake up, it is seven in the morning"
******
Gagarine flew into outer space
too much higher that he left no trace
"hey there ! you are trespassing"
yelled Satan at Gagarine
can' i burn peacefully, in god's grace ? !!!
******
There once lived a man named NimeSiss
whose evil, by large...
he left a paper " wake me up at seven morning "
when he woke up too late
he found a written note:
" wake up, it is seven in the morning"
******
Gagarine flew into outer space
too much higher that he left no trace
"hey there ! you are trespassing"
yelled Satan at Gagarine
can' i burn peacefully, in god's grace ? !!!
******
There once lived a man named NimeSiss
whose evil, by large...
#funny
#limerick
79 reads
2 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
28th Sep 2024 3:09pm
28th Sep 2024 3:09pm
Poetic Proses with dumb limericks
Dien Bien Phu
there was a man from fhu shang whoo !!
who fought in the war dien bien phu
when the war was over
he could then discover
that he had been stuck in water loo !
Nonsense
there was a man from kerder fring
who farthed in the worder tring
now, he's a phander fish
on the swinder second slish
hey ,! did you understand any thing ???
Grammar
i don't know why IS comes from BE''
and why WENT is GO if you see ?
there is an explanation,
like i don't...
there was a man from fhu shang whoo !!
who fought in the war dien bien phu
when the war was over
he could then discover
that he had been stuck in water loo !
Nonsense
there was a man from kerder fring
who farthed in the worder tring
now, he's a phander fish
on the swinder second slish
hey ,! did you understand any thing ???
Grammar
i don't know why IS comes from BE''
and why WENT is GO if you see ?
there is an explanation,
like i don't...
#funny
#limerick
#metaphor #ShortStory
#metaphor #ShortStory
78 reads
1 Comment
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
26th Sep 2024 2:57pm
26th Sep 2024 2:57pm
Dumb stories for the smart ones
Virtual boy
two young lovers made internet marriage
the party held in a spider's carriage
but, then they never met
married over the net
had a virtual boy of miscarriage
Golden belly
a women made a medical scanner
in her body something abnormal
the doctor screamed like hell:
" there is gold. i can tell !!! "
so, i must dig deep in your stomach
Rehearsals
the teacher shouted out in the classroom
i need this to be written out too soon
and there was dead silence
a...
two young lovers made internet marriage
the party held in a spider's carriage
but, then they never met
married over the net
had a virtual boy of miscarriage
Golden belly
a women made a medical scanner
in her body something abnormal
the doctor screamed like hell:
" there is gold. i can tell !!! "
so, i must dig deep in your stomach
Rehearsals
the teacher shouted out in the classroom
i need this to be written out too soon
and there was dead silence
a...
#fiction
#funny
#limerick
99 reads
5 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems
