Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
Nizana
Lauryn
Lauryn
Poem Published
17th Nov 2023 1:49pm
17th Nov 2023 1:49pm
Horny Mother-to-Be
I’m one horny mother-to-be
It’s nothing that I could foresee
Men say that I glow
But all that I know is
My tits are now something to see
It’s nothing that I could foresee
Men say that I glow
But all that I know is
My tits are now something to see
#lust
#limerick
#pregnancy
145 reads
6 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
6th Nov 2023 8:42pm
6th Nov 2023 8:42pm
Limericks
My physicist father once said
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
" uranium decays down to lead "
but that " the gleam in his eye
decayed down to..." I?
I think Pa's Ma and Pa weren't wed.
Now, let us be abundantly clear
about black-holes, we must not go near,
they'd suck us right in
smear us very, very, thin
then spew us out of their rears...
There was a black hole out far
who swallowed a neighbouring star,
" hmmm, tasty" it quipped
and licking its lips,
rolled off to the nearest bar.
...
#limerick
42 reads
0 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
5th Nov 2023 4:01pm
5th Nov 2023 4:01pm
Disclaimer: these Dirty Limericks are for a competition and are not representative of my work.
There was a young Beau from limerick
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try bending,...
who had an unfeasibly large dick,
as he enters his Belle
the whole town heard her yell
"You're in the wrong hole, you fuck-wit! "
Now, this young man from limerick
(the one with the unfeasibly large dick)
well, his balls would clang
when he shagged his Mam
and that was their party trick.
That lusty lad from old limerick
thought he'd try bending,...
#porn
#limerick
#dirty
132 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
16th Oct 2023 4:10pm
16th Oct 2023 4:10pm
Sean, Not Unshorn (Limerick)
There once was a young man
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
named Sean
Who once slept
from dusk, to dawn
He had had
lots of fun
With Sambuka,
and rum
And met someone
that gave him the horn!!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
49 reads
0 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
23rd Sep 2023 2:25pm
23rd Sep 2023 2:25pm
Bareback!
#BDSM
#limerick
#funny
166 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Jul 2023 00:22am
20th Jul 2023 00:22am
Something Surely Afoot?
There once was an Abominable Snowman from Brighton
Its tourists it tried to enlighten
It got covered in confetti
Then mistaken for a Yeti
Its Big Foot is the thing that did frighten!
by Jemia
Its tourists it tried to enlighten
It got covered in confetti
Then mistaken for a Yeti
Its Big Foot is the thing that did frighten!
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
#mythology #surreal
#mythology #surreal
50 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
11th Jul 2023 11:54pm
11th Jul 2023 11:54pm
No Balls
There once was a lady of the old town
Her bar billiards, caused many to frown
She kept hitting the sticks
No points did she nick
As she had no balls to put down
by Jemia
Her bar billiards, caused many to frown
She kept hitting the sticks
No points did she nick
As she had no balls to put down
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
75 reads
1 Comment
Green_Arrow
Poem Published
11th Jul 2023 9:46pm
11th Jul 2023 9:46pm
Her Name Happens To Be Lucy Figg
Her name happens to be Lucy Figg
who hopes to land a job in some big
time company somewhere
but they all would not care
because who wants to hire this one pig.
who hopes to land a job in some big
time company somewhere
but they all would not care
because who wants to hire this one pig.
#animals
#fiction
#limerick
#acceptance
#culture
93 reads
2 Comments
oskar
Poem Published
5th Jun 2023 10:40am
5th Jun 2023 10:40am
4 line poem
4 lines
Dry straw piled high
On a horse-drawn wagon
The mare was asleep
Dreaming of clover
Dry straw piled high
On a horse-drawn wagon
The mare was asleep
Dreaming of clover
#limerick
#acrostic
#FreeVerse
#quatrain
#paradelle
103 reads
0 Comments
Bricoleur
Poem Published
4th May 2023 10:19pm
4th May 2023 10:19pm
Meat Please
You see, my trouble with hunger is this
With meat in sight I say, “more please”
Chew the fat, bite the meat
Breathe, water it down a bit
Gobble, gobble, gobble with a face full of grease
With meat in sight I say, “more please”
Chew the fat, bite the meat
Breathe, water it down a bit
Gobble, gobble, gobble with a face full of grease
#food
#limerick
#funny
102 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
5th Apr 2023 11:47pm
5th Apr 2023 11:47pm
"There's A Bear In The Park?"
There was a young Art In The Park
Whose bite, was Worse than it's bark!
One day on the green
A life model was seen
Declaring "It's only for a bit of a lark!"
by Jemia
Whose bite, was Worse than it's bark!
One day on the green
A life model was seen
Declaring "It's only for a bit of a lark!"
by Jemia
#limerick
#funny
102 reads
0 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
4th Dec 2022 3:01pm
4th Dec 2022 3:01pm
Annie and Frank
Annie Oakley was quite a good shot
And old photos reveal, she was hot
Cowboys hit on poor Ann
But that gun in her hand
Kept those randy dudes clear of her slot!
When a cowpoke got drunk on some beer
And then grabbed Annie’s tight derriere
She drew down on his crotch
And as everyone watched—
Annie turned that dude into a steer!
But that was before she met Frank—
Famous marksman with coin in the bank!
Annie saw, he was hung
So she ‘holstered’ his ‘gun’—
Then she taught him to ride her ‘bare-back!’
...
And old photos reveal, she was hot
Cowboys hit on poor Ann
But that gun in her hand
Kept those randy dudes clear of her slot!
When a cowpoke got drunk on some beer
And then grabbed Annie’s tight derriere
She drew down on his crotch
And as everyone watched—
Annie turned that dude into a steer!
But that was before she met Frank—
Famous marksman with coin in the bank!
Annie saw, he was hung
So she ‘holstered’ his ‘gun’—
Then she taught him to ride her ‘bare-back!’
...
#sex
#limerick
#funny
202 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems
