Limerick Poems
#limerick
Limerick poems, humorous and cheeky five line verses with a strict AABBA rhyme scheme. The first, second and fifth line rhyme, while the third and fourth lines are shorter and share a different rhyme. A limerick is a folk poetry form popular in the 19th century, typically naughty or obscene, and setting out to violate taboos.
RexDurkin
Poem Published
16th Jul 2019 4:30am
16th Jul 2019 4:30am
Thirteen Old Grannies
#women
#limerick
#funny
#aging
#dirty
41 reads
3 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
14th Jul 2019 2:35am
14th Jul 2019 2:35am
My Last Five Girlfriends
#sex
#erotic
#limerick
#funny
#dirty
85 reads
11 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
13th Jul 2019 12:31pm
13th Jul 2019 12:31pm
Mr. Peanut
There once was a noble peanut
Who liked to put things up his butt
He kept his golf clubs up there
And pull ‘em from his derriere
When he wanted to chip, drive or putt
He would walk right up to the tee
And exclaim “Oh, you must excuse me”
Then he’d pull out a wood
Just as swift as he could
And smack the ball onto the green
Then he'd shove the club back up his arse
And swagger down onto the grass
He was a clever laddy
Who knew a butt for a caddy ...
Who liked to put things up his butt
He kept his golf clubs up there
And pull ‘em from his derriere
When he wanted to chip, drive or putt
He would walk right up to the tee
And exclaim “Oh, you must excuse me”
Then he’d pull out a wood
Just as swift as he could
And smack the ball onto the green
Then he'd shove the club back up his arse
And swagger down onto the grass
He was a clever laddy
Who knew a butt for a caddy ...
#limerick
#parody
#satirical
#funny
#sports
18 reads
0 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
13th Jul 2019 4:58am
13th Jul 2019 4:58am
The Aussie Kiss
If it’s a lady you want to please
To make her feel weak at the knees
Fill her heart with bliss
With an Aussie Kiss
You just cannot top one of these
First you tear her panties asunder
Then give her a french kiss ‘down under’
Just hope she don't taste
Like tuna fish paste
‘Cos then mate, you will surely chunder!
To make her feel weak at the knees
Fill her heart with bliss
With an Aussie Kiss
You just cannot top one of these
First you tear her panties asunder
Then give her a french kiss ‘down under’
Just hope she don't taste
Like tuna fish paste
‘Cos then mate, you will surely chunder!
#sex
#erotic
#limerick
#funny
#dirty
97 reads
1 Comment
RexDurkin
Poem Published
9th Jul 2019 5:31am
9th Jul 2019 5:31am
To Have and to Hold
I cut off my knob with a knife
Then proposed, now we’re married for life
But it makes me so pissed
That I’m called misogynist
Just ‘cos I beat my new wife
I don't think I need to tell you folk
That by ‘beat’ I really mean ‘stroke’
So don't go and snitch
That I’m bashing my bitch
'Cos it was just a little wank joke !
Then proposed, now we’re married for life
But it makes me so pissed
That I’m called misogynist
Just ‘cos I beat my new wife
I don't think I need to tell you folk
That by ‘beat’ I really mean ‘stroke’
So don't go and snitch
That I’m bashing my bitch
'Cos it was just a little wank joke !
#wife
#marriage
#limerick #funny
#limerick #funny
27 reads
0 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
8th Jul 2019 4:03pm
8th Jul 2019 4:03pm
The Bushman's Blow
There’s a trick every Aussie bloke knows
For when you want to clear a blocked nose
But there is an issue
Of a lack of a tissue
We call it the Bushman’s Blow
First you close one nostril air tight
Then push air out with all ya might
But watch ya don’t squirt
Boogers down ya shirt
‘Cos that's never a pretty sight
For when you want to clear a blocked nose
But there is an issue
Of a lack of a tissue
We call it the Bushman’s Blow
First you close one nostril air tight
Then push air out with all ya might
But watch ya don’t squirt
Boogers down ya shirt
‘Cos that's never a pretty sight
#men
#limerick
#satirical #funny
#satirical #funny
40 reads
8 Comments
Kinkpoet
Poem Published
8th Jul 2019 3:53pm
8th Jul 2019 3:53pm
Lusty Lucy
there once was a girl named Lusty Lucy
people said she could be loosey goosey
when she got paid
they often got laid
then said that Lucy was juicy
people said she could be loosey goosey
when she got paid
they often got laid
then said that Lucy was juicy
#sex
#limerick
#funny #dirty
#funny #dirty
109 reads
2 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
6th Jul 2019 4:36pm
6th Jul 2019 4:36pm
Aussie Charm
In the dry outback of Australia
When a woman has a lube failure
We use ‘Aussie charm’
That’s when ya spit on ya palm
Then rub it on her genitalia
It's the best move to get a chick wet
And the quickest way that ya can get
So next one night stand
Just slag on ya hand
It's a trick you should never forget!
When a woman has a lube failure
We use ‘Aussie charm’
That’s when ya spit on ya palm
Then rub it on her genitalia
It's the best move to get a chick wet
And the quickest way that ya can get
So next one night stand
Just slag on ya hand
It's a trick you should never forget!
#sex
#limerick
#funny
#dirty
#sexy
52 reads
7 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
6th Jul 2019 2:59pm
6th Jul 2019 2:59pm
Limericks
Limericks are jolly good fun
Like shooting bottles with your gun
They won't get you paid
But they might get you laid
With a waitress, school teacher or nun!
So give the little bastards a shot
Write 'em with punch, crunch n' grot
Do about thirty
Be sure to make 'em dirty
Then shove 'em straight up your twat!
Like shooting bottles with your gun
They won't get you paid
But they might get you laid
With a waitress, school teacher or nun!
So give the little bastards a shot
Write 'em with punch, crunch n' grot
Do about thirty
Be sure to make 'em dirty
Then shove 'em straight up your twat!
#limerick
#funny
#WritingPoetry #dirty
#WritingPoetry #dirty
24 reads
0 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
5th Jul 2019 11:53pm
5th Jul 2019 11:53pm
The many misfortunes of Simon
#dark
#fate
#limerick #funny
#limerick #funny
27 reads
0 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
5th Jul 2019 3:41pm
5th Jul 2019 3:41pm
There once was...7
#sex
#rhyming
#limerick
#funny
#dirty
93 reads
3 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
4th Jul 2019 12:08pm
4th Jul 2019 12:08pm
Dorothy and Donna
#erotic
#limerick
#funny
#dirty
#sexy
80 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Limerick Poems
