Short Story Seeking Honest Critique
#ShortStory
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
7th Oct 2024 4:28pm
7th Oct 2024 4:28pm
Brick and Mortar
Houses are of brick and mortar. If there's evil, it's in someone's heart. I don't remember who said that, but it mostly holds true. I say mostly because sometimes the evil in someone's heart can leach into the brick-and-mortar. The house on Cromwell Row was like that. It was one of five uniform constructions backing onto farmer's fields, the opposite of what you would imagine when given the prompt "haunted house". There were no gables, no accidents of architecture turning upper windows into eyes, and it was only one floor, a bungalow, just like its mates.
My husband and I...
My husband and I...
#fiction
#ghosts
#horror #ShortStory
#horror #ShortStory
178 reads
3 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
4th Oct 2024 11:07am
4th Oct 2024 11:07am
In love with an image
I'm sitting here waiting for you
You said you were coming over at 7 PM
No show...again
When will I wake up and tell myself, this isn't right?
When will I stop stressing over you?
You're not that great, but I still want you
Why is that?
Why am I so attracted to you?
I need to move on
When you would look at me, I'd get goosebumps and become nervous
I would want to show you how dedicated & in love I am with you
You know that, but you never accept it
I'm dancing around my own wants and desires for you but fall flat on my...
You said you were coming over at 7 PM
No show...again
When will I wake up and tell myself, this isn't right?
When will I stop stressing over you?
You're not that great, but I still want you
Why is that?
Why am I so attracted to you?
I need to move on
When you would look at me, I'd get goosebumps and become nervous
I would want to show you how dedicated & in love I am with you
You know that, but you never accept it
I'm dancing around my own wants and desires for you but fall flat on my...
#fiction
#MentalHealth
#obsession
#relationships
#ShortStory
189 reads
10 Comments
poeticdelight
Hamid
Hamid
Poem Published
28th Sep 2024 3:09pm
28th Sep 2024 3:09pm
Poetic Proses with dumb limericks
Dien Bien Phu
there was a man from fhu shang whoo !!
who fought in the war dien bien phu
when the war was over
he could then discover
that he had been stuck in water loo !
Nonsense
there was a man from kerder fring
who farthed in the worder tring
now, he's a phander fish
on the swinder second slish
hey ,! did you understand any thing ???
Grammar
i don't know why IS comes from BE''
and why WENT is GO if you see ?
there is an explanation,
like i don't...
there was a man from fhu shang whoo !!
who fought in the war dien bien phu
when the war was over
he could then discover
that he had been stuck in water loo !
Nonsense
there was a man from kerder fring
who farthed in the worder tring
now, he's a phander fish
on the swinder second slish
hey ,! did you understand any thing ???
Grammar
i don't know why IS comes from BE''
and why WENT is GO if you see ?
there is an explanation,
like i don't...
#funny
#limerick
#metaphor #ShortStory
#metaphor #ShortStory
96 reads
1 Comment
dartford
Paul S...
Paul S...
Poem Published
23rd Sep 2024 11:54pm
23rd Sep 2024 11:54pm
grimm story
an elf fell into the gap
between the train and the
platform
was packed with horrified
commuters who couldn’t
quite believe in
elves or
faerie, or in anything
else
but themselves ..
between the train and the
platform
was packed with horrified
commuters who couldn’t
quite believe in
elves or
faerie, or in anything
else
but themselves ..
#ShortStory
73 reads
0 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
23rd Sep 2024 11:38am
23rd Sep 2024 11:38am
Bowling Anyone?
After a night of some intense bowling, I saw this awesome pair of bowling shoes near the counter. They weren't black and red. They were yellow & blue. Plus, they were my size. The colors looked great! I decided to snatch them. Some pimply, out of shape manager with greasy, dandruff filled black hair stopped me right before exiting the building. He said sir, where are you going with these shoes? I said these are for me. Is that ok? He snatched them out my hand and said I never want to see you here ever again. I took a 11 lb bowling bowl and smashed his head about 5 times with it. Two other...
#dreams
#horror
#inspirational #ShortStory
#inspirational #ShortStory
136 reads
4 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
19th Sep 2024 11:18am
19th Sep 2024 11:18am
Have you had your break today?
A man by the name of Bruce D. Lipps was the owner of a McDonald's on the outskirts of Duluth, Minnesota.
Sometime in January 1996, he was driving North on Interstate 35 when he crashed his car.
There was a decent snowfall occurring with icy conditions.
His vehicle had crossed the median and into the southbound lanes before hitting a guardrail.
Bruce was able to climb out of the burning wreckage, pulled off all of his burning clothes and stood naked in the middle of the road.
In a matter of minutes, Bruce was run over and killed by an oncoming...
Sometime in January 1996, he was driving North on Interstate 35 when he crashed his car.
There was a decent snowfall occurring with icy conditions.
His vehicle had crossed the median and into the southbound lanes before hitting a guardrail.
Bruce was able to climb out of the burning wreckage, pulled off all of his burning clothes and stood naked in the middle of the road.
In a matter of minutes, Bruce was run over and killed by an oncoming...
#fiction
#satirical
#ShortStory
#snow
#winter
79 reads
6 Comments
PittinixDesigns
Poem Published
18th Sep 2024 8:48pm
18th Sep 2024 8:48pm
The Avid Poetess
A writer describes herself as an avid poetess.
She told a poet that some of his compositions were not poems.
According to her, they are short stories.
If she is an avid poetess, she should know more about poetry.
Perhaps she has her own definition of poetry.
Any form of writing or speech can be poetry.
It depends on how you read a composition.
A poem should be read with rhythm and style.
It seems that the poetess has not heard about conscious poetry.
In Jamaica, we invented dub poetry.
Let us talk...
She told a poet that some of his compositions were not poems.
According to her, they are short stories.
If she is an avid poetess, she should know more about poetry.
Perhaps she has her own definition of poetry.
Any form of writing or speech can be poetry.
It depends on how you read a composition.
A poem should be read with rhythm and style.
It seems that the poetess has not heard about conscious poetry.
In Jamaica, we invented dub poetry.
Let us talk...
#WritingPoetry
#lyrics
#ShortStory
142 reads
6 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
11th Sep 2024 00:30am
11th Sep 2024 00:30am
This dog has nine lives
Andy Felthersnatch's dog burst into flames when it peed on a live wire. Felthersnatch later told the press, "There was an almighty explosion and the whole street lit up. I turned around and my dog was on fire." Power was off for five hours that day in a small town 30 miles north of Ottawa, Canada. Against all odds, the dog survived.
#fiction
#satirical
#ShortStory
94 reads
2 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
9th Sep 2024 8:21pm
9th Sep 2024 8:21pm
The Asylum, circa 1900
The people at the dreary hotel
Are either aged or unwell
The guests who chose to stay aloof
Lie wrapped in rugs upon the roof
A statue with a gas-lamp torch
Has toppled over on the porch
The way others wish to go
Have been obscured by drifted snow
Unknown objects falling from the air
The careful stroller better beware
It's known that the skating pond conceals
A family of enormous eels
Those who have escaped can die with dignity
Tortured, raped & beaten by the malignity
The monuments above the dead
Are too eroded...
Are either aged or unwell
The guests who chose to stay aloof
Lie wrapped in rugs upon the roof
A statue with a gas-lamp torch
Has toppled over on the porch
The way others wish to go
Have been obscured by drifted snow
Unknown objects falling from the air
The careful stroller better beware
It's known that the skating pond conceals
A family of enormous eels
Those who have escaped can die with dignity
Tortured, raped & beaten by the malignity
The monuments above the dead
Are too eroded...
#illness
#MentalHealth
#rhyming
#SelfHarm
#ShortStory
120 reads
0 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
9th Sep 2024 7:44pm
9th Sep 2024 7:44pm
A girl, two birds, some candy & a very large cat
Once upon a time a little girl was going to take her doll for a walk when there she was, meeting two nice little birds
She dropped them a pretty little bow and said to them,
"Good afternoon, little birds, will you play with me?"
"I have some lovely candy in my little bag"
"I'll give you some"
One of the birds said, "I have no objection"
and the other said, "Neither do I"
They enjoyed themselves very much until it was nearly evening
Then the little birds said, "We want to go away now" ...
She dropped them a pretty little bow and said to them,
"Good afternoon, little birds, will you play with me?"
"I have some lovely candy in my little bag"
"I'll give you some"
One of the birds said, "I have no objection"
and the other said, "Neither do I"
They enjoyed themselves very much until it was nearly evening
Then the little birds said, "We want to go away now" ...
#birds
#cats
#children
#fiction
#ShortStory
158 reads
4 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
8th Sep 2024 12:02pm
8th Sep 2024 12:02pm
The Emergency
Look out!
They're coming for you
Who is it?
Why me??
I'm perfectly healthy
How did I get here?
What happened?
I'm on this table, motionless
I can hear & see but I can't talk or move
It's like I'm in some sort of comatose state
I can see the nurses & doctors talking but i don't see their mouths moving
They continue to look towards me
One of the nurses has this large needle
She's walking towards me
I don't like this one bit
There's no way I can stop or defend myself
Please no, don't put me to sleep!! ...
They're coming for you
Who is it?
Why me??
I'm perfectly healthy
How did I get here?
What happened?
I'm on this table, motionless
I can hear & see but I can't talk or move
It's like I'm in some sort of comatose state
I can see the nurses & doctors talking but i don't see their mouths moving
They continue to look towards me
One of the nurses has this large needle
She's walking towards me
I don't like this one bit
There's no way I can stop or defend myself
Please no, don't put me to sleep!! ...
#fiction
#mystery
#scary #ShortStory
#scary #ShortStory
131 reads
6 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
27th Aug 2024 11:06am
27th Aug 2024 11:06am
Porno Holocaust
I met a young girl with a face of a leper
as I browsed some travel books at the local store down on the lower east side
I heard her mother was raped on a bed of nails
she was known as a pillow biter
her bruises were covered with makeup
she wanted revenge
someone took a photograph of the rape
one of the men was in the lower left of the photograph
she described the rape as a porno holocaust
it was a gang bang
one of the men were discovered in a steam bath
this wasn't his first time
he was having an orgy with another man, claiming they...
as I browsed some travel books at the local store down on the lower east side
I heard her mother was raped on a bed of nails
she was known as a pillow biter
her bruises were covered with makeup
she wanted revenge
someone took a photograph of the rape
one of the men was in the lower left of the photograph
she described the rape as a porno holocaust
it was a gang bang
one of the men were discovered in a steam bath
this wasn't his first time
he was having an orgy with another man, claiming they...
#abuse
#fiction
#illness
#ShortStory
#violence
152 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Short Story Seeking Honest Critique
