Long Poems About Self Harm
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At the end of my rope (03-10-2022)
Again the pressure is building up inside my head. When am I going to snap? When will I reach my limit? I can’t hold this inside for much longer. My mind is racing, crashing against the walls I have built myself. Walls raised for protection, raised to appear normal, raised so I can function, strengthened by the knowledge of past borders I protected. Stretching the periods between outbursts. But knowing that it has been quite a while that it happened. The voices are driving me crazy. Getting louder each day and night. Unable to sleep properly, unable to think clear. Insomnia is driving me nuts....
#depression
#loneliness
#SelfHarm
#MentalHealth
#FeelingLost
444 reads
0 Comments
Apologies
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so fucking sorry.
I....I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to turn out this way.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to have to worry.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to have to listen to my constant bitching.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to have to think about me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I didn't think about you.
I'm sorry. I didn't think about me.
I'm sorry. I didn't think about us.
I'm sorry. I didn't think you would worry.
I'm sorry. I didn't think I would worry. ...
I'm so sorry.
I'm so fucking sorry.
I....I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to turn out this way.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to have to worry.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to have to listen to my constant bitching.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to have to think about me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I didn't think about you.
I'm sorry. I didn't think about me.
I'm sorry. I didn't think about us.
I'm sorry. I didn't think you would worry.
I'm sorry. I didn't think I would worry. ...
#anxiety
#depression
#SelfHarm #MentalHealth
#SelfHarm #MentalHealth
431 reads
0 Comments
BACK TO RETRO REVERSE INTROVERSION AGAIN (12:00am, 5-16-2022, Palm Springs, California)
ive so unsettlingly
noticed
increasingly
over these last
four or five years
and now
more than ever
it seems
that whenever
i find myself
in social gatherings
of almost any kind
where theres
more than
three or four
people
or even friends
ive known for years
at times
depending to some degree
at least
upon the situation
and the unpredictable mix
of egoic personalities ...
noticed
increasingly
over these last
four or five years
and now
more than ever
it seems
that whenever
i find myself
in social gatherings
of almost any kind
where theres
more than
three or four
people
or even friends
ive known for years
at times
depending to some degree
at least
upon the situation
and the unpredictable mix
of egoic personalities ...
#anxiety
#SelfHarm
#MentalHealth
#PTSD
#vulnerability
394 reads
4 Comments
Diary entry 09-06-2022 (After a month)
It feels like an eternity. I’ve been away for about a month now. I decided not to get admitted into a place where I will just be another number. A name on the list. A cog in the great machine. I chose to go on a little ‘vacation’, I stayed at a friend’s house for a bit. This person is a psychologist for a little institution that helps people who no one wants to help or the system just has forgotten. This person has been a friend for such a long time I almost forgot that she is a friend and not family. I’ve talked with her for most of my teenage years and all the years that followed. But I was...
#anxiety
#depression
#LifeStruggles #SelfHarm
#LifeStruggles #SelfHarm
172 reads
0 Comments
The Gamble
High stakes
Shuffle the deck
Cut it
Discard a card
Deal
Good cards
Bad card
There's a joker on the table
As you put out your big blind
Holding my queen of hearts tight
Pair of Aces feels right
Its gonna be a good night
First round called
Dealer flops the first three
No queen to be seen but your aces are still keen
Raise the stakes , this is becoming a fast race a the couple on the other side of the table folds and sits back could see its too risky and they'd rather relax and enjoy a nice whisky. ...
Shuffle the deck
Cut it
Discard a card
Deal
Good cards
Bad card
There's a joker on the table
As you put out your big blind
Holding my queen of hearts tight
Pair of Aces feels right
Its gonna be a good night
First round called
Dealer flops the first three
No queen to be seen but your aces are still keen
Raise the stakes , this is becoming a fast race a the couple on the other side of the table folds and sits back could see its too risky and they'd rather relax and enjoy a nice whisky. ...
#depression
#breakup
#SelfHarm
#alcohol
#addiction
445 reads
0 Comments
Step Off
#SelfHarm
#religion
#rebirth
#MentalHealth
#learning
501 reads
4 Comments
Eighteen
#abuse
#SelfHarm
#alcohol
#PTSD
#FeelingTrapped
401 reads
4 Comments
My Mental Story
For about 15 years now I’ve been suffering from psychosis. I hear voices and experience delusions. Everywhere, all day and all night. For the most part I’ve done what I can to fight it and ignored the cacophony of noise and the calls to harm or kill myself. I’ve learned to meditate, clear my mind, focus my energy. However it’s not pleasant and I’m in constant struggle with it. This is something I’ve kept to myself because of the implications from work colleagues, friends and family. I’m terrified of their reactions and how they’d view me. To be quite honest, the voices already tell me what...
#anxiety
#LifeStruggles
#SelfHarm
#suicide
#MentalHealth
651 reads
13 Comments
The tragedy of a sister raising a brother
You tell me Im just like her; our shared abuser
Oh brother dear that made me spiral
Here I am just 25 is my brain even fully alive?
Here I am married and suddenly a parent to you
And you want an enemy and hyperfocus on me
The only connection you have to our past
Logically I get it but emotionally I'm being transparent
I'm wrecking everything cuz I can't get over it
Your fourteen you dont know what it means
To have lived the tragic life I have
And maybe I don't understand your trauma either
Our stories are different despite the vast...
Oh brother dear that made me spiral
Here I am just 25 is my brain even fully alive?
Here I am married and suddenly a parent to you
And you want an enemy and hyperfocus on me
The only connection you have to our past
Logically I get it but emotionally I'm being transparent
I'm wrecking everything cuz I can't get over it
Your fourteen you dont know what it means
To have lived the tragic life I have
And maybe I don't understand your trauma either
Our stories are different despite the vast...
#sadness
#grief
#SelfHarm
#PTSD
#disappointment
452 reads
5 Comments
Ugly
I think that I have written this letter a thousand and one different times, each time even more afraid what would come shooting out of my fingertips. But I think I know what I must say now, even though I do not want to. I think that I have always hated us both, innards and skin. I think that when mom was supposed to be teaching us to love ourselves she did the opposite, but none of that has ever been her fault. Not all of it. I think sometimes that I try to sugar coat the hate that I shove down our throats with nicotine induced blackouts, so that way it won't hurt as much going down as it...
#hate
#SelfHarm
#confessional
#SelfReflection
#nonfiction
413 reads
0 Comments
MR. MASOCHIST
#SelfHarm
#Halloween
#devil #curse
#devil #curse
416 reads
2 Comments
[ C-19 ] Category 7
Body count increased
along the receding shore
as flood waters rose
Murky as its origins were
( although Climate Change
remains a top contender )
it became painfully clear
this was unlike any hurricane
ever contended with;
delt a savage blowing to Humanity
Yet, despite our knowing
more was likely in store for us;
we as a species remained at risk
While access to fresh oxygen
via...
along the receding shore
as flood waters rose
Murky as its origins were
( although Climate Change
remains a top contender )
it became painfully clear
this was unlike any hurricane
ever contended with;
delt a savage blowing to Humanity
Yet, despite our knowing
more was likely in store for us;
we as a species remained at risk
While access to fresh oxygen
via...
#SelfHarm
#water
#illness
#humankind
#scifi
466 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Long Poems About Self Harm