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Husking Corn

why do I save them      
the evidence      
written records      
of her torn soul`s        
intended departure?      
      
as testament?      
artifact?      
a disclaimer      
shining approving light      
towards my favor?      
      
things like this        
cant be explained      
any more than finding      
in my kid`s crib  
a room temp ziti tray        
      
she might have been      
giving life the slip      
but her baby        
wouldnt go hungry      
while her man dealt with apocalypse      
      
or the night      
I got home         
just in time      
to witness her painting    
a huge vagina      
      
it must have been        
seven feet long      
applied directly      
to the kitchen floor      
talk about anxiety to perform      
      
but truth be told      
pretty much any situation      
can become the norm      
once you weather initial storms      
suicide management turns mundane as husking corn      
      
damn, I used to bury      
this truth      
under super-pressurized layers      
of imploding denial      
so, how come I never destroyed the proof?      
      
perhaps, whether she lived or died      
this attempt        
to transfer her self through writing      
was the closest thing to a mirror      
of her individuality, the essence of her life      
      
whatever the reason      
I continued finding farewell letters      
tucked in books and tea boxes      
like pot seeds in gatefold record jackets    
long after she was "better"      
      
compelled to compile      
I`ll stumble across them        
once in a while      
like tonight      
which prompted this trip down memory pain    
      
and do I keep them under lock and key?      
no! I`m as bad as she      
they`re on the shelf,      
in a notebook of drum-beats      
waiting for the unfortunate browser to pick up and read
Written by drivelicious13 (alon aLion)
Published | Edited 22nd Mar 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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