deepundergroundpoetry.com
Altered Memory
- Altered Memory -
When I was just a teenager, I went to a park,
In search of serenity and sometimes adventure.
I remembered it as a peaceful place often still!
Filled with golden memories, as may oft hark,
To one’s nostalgia, when one is more mature.
One day I thought to return there, and so fill,
My curiosity as to whether the place changed.
I am a grown woman now, of different mind…
Less angry, less filled with angst and madness.
The golden afternoon light seemed estranged,
As the shadows all seemed darker, I did find.
Gone was the old magic, and in my sadness…
I realized, the magic was never in the woods,
But in my heart more than those ancient trees.
I drew it out, and it came forth in fair floods…
As for a moment, I felt a familiarly soft breeze.
It did not last.
I could sense the presence of woodland perils,
Unknown to me when I was in younger years!
The thoughts of human beings seemed darkest.
I felt the presence of men and their cruelest ills,
And in that moment of gnosis, I wept my tears.
There was no longer innocence in that forest…
I felt like a little girl lost, and far from my home.
Fear of the big bad wolf was within my bosom,
For an adult woman fears things no child might.
I left that place hastily, and did not there roam,
For I longed for my gardens and their blossom!
They awaited me at my house, with their light…
Where I was safe and secure in new memories.
It is best sometimes to not revisit things gone…
Lest we find them altered, from those dignities,
Which nostalgia creates like the glow of dawn!
A dawn now long past.
When I was just a teenager, I went to a park,
In search of serenity and sometimes adventure.
I remembered it as a peaceful place often still!
Filled with golden memories, as may oft hark,
To one’s nostalgia, when one is more mature.
One day I thought to return there, and so fill,
My curiosity as to whether the place changed.
I am a grown woman now, of different mind…
Less angry, less filled with angst and madness.
The golden afternoon light seemed estranged,
As the shadows all seemed darker, I did find.
Gone was the old magic, and in my sadness…
I realized, the magic was never in the woods,
But in my heart more than those ancient trees.
I drew it out, and it came forth in fair floods…
As for a moment, I felt a familiarly soft breeze.
It did not last.
I could sense the presence of woodland perils,
Unknown to me when I was in younger years!
The thoughts of human beings seemed darkest.
I felt the presence of men and their cruelest ills,
And in that moment of gnosis, I wept my tears.
There was no longer innocence in that forest…
I felt like a little girl lost, and far from my home.
Fear of the big bad wolf was within my bosom,
For an adult woman fears things no child might.
I left that place hastily, and did not there roam,
For I longed for my gardens and their blossom!
They awaited me at my house, with their light…
Where I was safe and secure in new memories.
It is best sometimes to not revisit things gone…
Lest we find them altered, from those dignities,
Which nostalgia creates like the glow of dawn!
A dawn now long past.
Published 14th Jan 2013
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Anonymous
14th Jan 2013 11:31am
Ooh, I love the nuances you have woven so intricately in this lovely poem!
Fave lines are:
Many!
Small comment, if I may.
In this line, the adverb feels a bit funny here....?
*As for a moment, I felt a familiarly soft breeze.
Really dig your title in this evocative telling of growing up...how we change, hey?
Then again...without change, we don't EVOLVE.
Nonetheless, a swell write, J.
Pen on!
Cheers
Tidespotter
Fave lines are:
Many!
Small comment, if I may.
In this line, the adverb feels a bit funny here....?
*As for a moment, I felt a familiarly soft breeze.
Really dig your title in this evocative telling of growing up...how we change, hey?
Then again...without change, we don't EVOLVE.
Nonetheless, a swell write, J.
Pen on!
Cheers
Tidespotter
15th Jan 2013 00:11am
Ah, thanks for your insightful comment! I totally appreciate it. About that line about the familiar, soft breeze... It is a reference to other poems I wrote about mystical and spiritual experiences that took place in the woods, some in those particular woods in fact. The breeze symbolizes a spiritual force, and one that is the same I experienced long ago there. Thus why it would be familiar. So that whole line is symbol and metaphor, thus why it may seem a tad bit funny. It was to show that even in the dark and gritty reality of the true nature of that forest, I could still find a single moment of peace and serenity, as I had once known... however brief and fleeting that might be.
Indeed, change is good I believe. We only cease to change and evolve when we die... and there are times: when even that does not stop us. So yeah, even with the darkness that comes with maturity I still am happy that I became who I am today. It is good to look back occasionally, but it is even better to embrace the glory of the eternal now! ;)
Indeed, change is good I believe. We only cease to change and evolve when we die... and there are times: when even that does not stop us. So yeah, even with the darkness that comes with maturity I still am happy that I became who I am today. It is good to look back occasionally, but it is even better to embrace the glory of the eternal now! ;)
Anonymous
14th Jan 2013 2:20pm
VERY BEAUTIFUL piece by your pen, Jessica!
This piece brings to live the woods and I almost feel like taking on my walking shoes and going out there. Ah, send me a bit of spring soon
The woods are maybe my fav part of nature, have gone to the woods since I was a little girl.
Nothing like the feeling and the smell of it.
Thanks for sending some good vibes through!
This piece brings to live the woods and I almost feel like taking on my walking shoes and going out there. Ah, send me a bit of spring soon
The woods are maybe my fav part of nature, have gone to the woods since I was a little girl.
Nothing like the feeling and the smell of it.
Thanks for sending some good vibes through!
15th Jan 2013 00:17am
As you know from my other writings, my dear, I find much power, magic, and beauty in the woods myself. A lot of magical workings, I have done in forests and other wild places over the years... and their serenity and wildness (all entwined together) calls to me often and is a part of my heart always. Since I was a child, I have always loved the woods, and I know I shall love them no matter how much time may pass. Some woods change though, and can become tainted by the darker aspects of mankind, and when they do it is best to keep one's memory of the woods we once knew... when that memory outshines the reality of what those woods can become over time. I am glad you noticed the good vibes I was channeling though, despite the journey through darkness to find the means to bring them forth. That pleases me! :D
14th Jan 2013 3:03pm
15th Jan 2013 00:19am
I am happy you noticed and felt that otherworldly sense I was attempting to pour into the work. There is much magic in forests and woodlands, even when they become darkened with time's passing... and it was my pleasure to present you with this vision of a moment in time from my life. Glad you enjoyed it!
14th Jan 2013 7:00pm
This is a brilliant. Especially for someone my age to ponder and attempt to put into perspective . Thanks for the read ^_^
15th Jan 2013 00:22am
I am humbled by your praise of my poem, dear Elrond, and it is good sometimes at any age to think of how time can change things... and people. Sometimes a little perspective can mean a lot!
16th Jan 2013 1:02am
16th Jan 2013 2:28am
You know me, sweetie! It's the only way I know how to paint, actualy. With some poets out there, it's just finger painting, you know? But with me, I try to make every poem a Sistine Chapel of poetic glory.
16th Jan 2013 3:52pm
Anonymous
16th Jan 2013 8:10am
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16th Jan 2013 8:59am
