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Transcending the Ashes
(A collaboration by Indie and Light Baron)
I've got a fistful of memories
packing the cone piece with ash
lighting cerebral fires
to reinvent the past
I invoke the spirits of grains
tickled to a laugh
spiraled amongst the cosmos
as upwards tilts the glass
Blinded by the supernova
exploding inside my head
the epicenter of an ever
that's previously unread
Teasing the tethered never
with the now that I have wed
dissolved along the endless
transcended nothing I have fled
Staring down the kaleidoscope
through the hazes I haven't passed
there are answers in there somewhere
in this ball of questions made of glass
Stretched along the coordinates
the pilot of a private math
gamble the peaks and valleys
on the placement of a laugh
Down the pipe filled with ash
that floats within my lungs
wishing I could double back
to the naivety of the young
2012
I've got a fistful of memories
packing the cone piece with ash
lighting cerebral fires
to reinvent the past
I invoke the spirits of grains
tickled to a laugh
spiraled amongst the cosmos
as upwards tilts the glass
Blinded by the supernova
exploding inside my head
the epicenter of an ever
that's previously unread
Teasing the tethered never
with the now that I have wed
dissolved along the endless
transcended nothing I have fled
Staring down the kaleidoscope
through the hazes I haven't passed
there are answers in there somewhere
in this ball of questions made of glass
Stretched along the coordinates
the pilot of a private math
gamble the peaks and valleys
on the placement of a laugh
Down the pipe filled with ash
that floats within my lungs
wishing I could double back
to the naivety of the young
2012
Written by
Indie
(Miss Indie)
Published 15th Jun 2012
| Edited 16th Jun 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 0
comments 18
reads 884
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 6:22am
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 6:24am
Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 7:32am
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 10:39am
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 10:37am
Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 12:22pm
Well, Indie/Lightbaron
I like the quatrain type stanzas. there is an easy feel and flow to them.
I think you both blended well together and the content is very interesting to read.
great job both of you.
I like the quatrain type stanzas. there is an easy feel and flow to them.
I think you both blended well together and the content is very interesting to read.
great job both of you.
1
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 12:33pm
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment Eamon :) I hadn't intended for this one to rhyme but it's worked out well :) And LB has been great to work with.
Peace, Indie
Peace, Indie
Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 1:33pm
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
16th Jun 2012 2:18am
Re: Transcending the Ashes
Anonymous
15th Jun 2012 3:36pm
"Cordinates" needs another "o" in the penultimate verse, and there's one "the" too many in the last line.
This work would suit Spiritual Poems. I like its mystical quality and sense of peering into another world, and how that world quickly becomes threatening. Thanks for the read.
This work would suit Spiritual Poems. I like its mystical quality and sense of peering into another world, and how that world quickly becomes threatening. Thanks for the read.
1
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
16th Jun 2012 2:19am
Thank you Jack for picking up those errors and for your lovely feedback. :)
Transferred now over to spiritual poems. I wasn't sure where it belonged so I put it in misc, better up than pondering too long on which section to share it in.
Transferred now over to spiritual poems. I wasn't sure where it belonged so I put it in misc, better up than pondering too long on which section to share it in.
Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 7:52pm
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
16th Jun 2012 2:16am
Re: Transcending the Ashes
15th Jun 2012 8:05pm
Indie and Lightbaron..this has great flow and is purely enchanting..beautiful..peace Crim
1
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
Re: Transcending the Ashes
17th Jun 2012 10:39pm
re: Re: Transcending the Ashes
18th Jun 2012 2:03am