anxiety cough

 
Weary of what lies ahead
The day stretched out before me, and I fret
With the knowledge, there would be painful bouts of anxiety
My coping skills weren't working
The feeling overcomes me, and I cave
running to anxiety meds that make me sleep all day
 
If I'm awake, I'm in pain
grouchy and short-tempered
Some doctors prescribe them, but other doctors
Say they aren't okay
 
I take benzos to sleep at night
and use them only during the day as a last resort
The problem with anxiety it isn't just painful
It will wind me up so tight inside
I get delusional, it's a fine line I walk with meds
knowing what to take and when
 
The doctors give me conflicting answers
And it's clear to me they have never experienced
What they're treating me for
 
The panic attacks in a grocery store
Or in a parking lot, and you can't find your car
The uncontrollable anxiety cough
When I'm in public and I'm not ill
 
It only happens around people I'm not familiar with
or make me uncomfortable
They always look at me nowadays like she has COVID
But at least they back away from me and give me some distance
It's prevented me from doing so much
 
The day stretched out in front of me
I am grateful for the sunrise
and the beauty of nature
My dog, who is a service dog and calms me in public
When I have him with me, I don't cough
 
The day opened her arms
and answered my fears, she would accept me
If not for anyone else