My Thought for Today: Silence Kills

Most often, suffering happens behind closed doors. Whatever the reason, be it depression, anxiety, abuse, neglect, loneliness, shame, serious mental Illness, addiction or addictive behavior, anything that causes a person to suffer is usually difficult for someone to talk about, so reaching out can sometimes feel near impossible. As the suffering builds, the harder it seems to ask for help and can it can become a continuous loop of anguish. The perfect recipe for that one thought to creep in and grab hold. And when that happens the people in your life may not recognize the warning signs.    
   
A four-time suicide attempt survivor, by all intents and purposes, I shouldn’t be here. Other people who have attempted suicide haven’t been so lucky and the people in their lives are left with unanswered questions, broken hearts, grief beyond explanation, anger, guilt, so many things that could have been avoided. And the lost soul, now dearly departed, who may now be relieved of their suffering, doesn’t have the experience of opening up to someone about their struggle, being relieved of their pain, finding joy and hopefully, having a fruitful life.    
   
People feel shame about their emotions and experiences for many reasons. My experience with shame was childhood trauma, sexual abuse, a mental health diagnosis (that turned out to be incorrect), losing my memories, isolation and the resulting problems with having to learn how to communicate and reintegrate into society, extensive medical problems, and a few other experiences I’m still working through. I was in constant conflict with the need to feel understood while being too embarrassed to talk about what I had been through and how I was feeling. I felt like I was a burden to those in my life and the struggle to get through the day became so unbearable that I felt like my only option was to take my own life.    
   
Luckily, in today’s day and age there are ways to reach out that don’t involve divulging all of your information face to face in your first breath. I think a common misconception is that if I have suicidal thoughts someone is going to show up at my door and arrest me or throw me in the hospital. Suicidal ideation, also known as suicidal thoughts, is not cause for something like that to happen. You have to be a danger to someone else or be a danger to yourself, as in actively seeking to end your life, for that to happen. Picking up the phone and calling a crisis line or hotline to talk to someone, if you don’t have someone in your life you can talk to, is easier today than it was in the past.    
   
Silence kills. Please reach out to someone.  It may not be easy but it will be worth it. On the other side of suffering is joy. Life is worth living.    
   
The following resources are current as of today’s date 11/6/2024:    
   
Call or text 988    
To reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline    
   
National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for TTY users: use your preferred relay service or dial 711 then 988    
   
Veteran’s Crisis Line - 988, then press option #1    
Text 838255    
   
Text “HELLO” or “BRAVE” or “HOME” to 741741    
   
Nacional de Prevencion del Suicidio  - (888) 628-9454    
   
National Sexual Assault Hotline - (800) 656-4673    
   
RAINN- 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)    
(Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)    
   
National Domestic Violence Hotline - (800) 799-7233    
   
Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline  - (888) 422-4453    
   
The Trevor Project - a crisis line for LGBTQ young people can be reached 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386    
   
Trans Lifeline - a peer support service run by trans people for trans and questioning callers can be reached at 877-565-8860 in the US and 877-330-6366 in Canada    
   
SAMSA National Help Line - 1-800-622-4357    
(Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration)    
   
NAMI Help Line - 1-800-950-6264    
Text “HELP LINE” to 62640    
Teen and Young Adult Helpline - 1-800-950-6264    
Text “FRIEND” to 62640    
Or email helpline@nami.org    
(National Alliance on Mental Illness)    
   
The following warning signs of suicide were taken from the NIH (National Institute of Health) website.    
   
The behaviors listed below may be some of the signs that someone is thinking about suicide:    
   
Talking about:    
* Wanting to die    
* Great guilt or shame    
* Being a burden to others    
   
Feeling:    
* Empty, hopeless, trapped, or having no reason to live    
* Extremely sad, more anxious, agitated, or full of rage    
* Unbearable emotional or physical pain    
   
Changing behavior, such as:    
* Making a plan or researching ways to die    
* Withdrawing from friends, saying goodbye, giving away important items, or making a will    
* Taking dangerous risks such as driving extremely fast    
* Displaying extreme mood swings    
* Eating or sleeping more or less    
* Using drugs or alcohol more often    
   
This post is based on my own experiences and is not intended to diagnose anyone else. It’s merely my attempt to impart needed information and resources.    
   
Be well.