Are you gay?

My heart threatens to gag me.
Needing to exorcise a demon,
these speechless fingers tremble
against silent computer keys.
Voice hiding, far off
in one of those dusty shelve books
with the yellowed pages, smelling of
age and wisdom's of years past
one finds in a 25 cent bookstore.
I think I'm dying, gagging and choking
on words that lock themselves willingly away
behind a worthless, self loathing poets tongue.
"I don't know."
 
I. don't. fucking. know.
 
I must hate myself, or this demon that breathes
its hot, angry whispers inside my head
would set me free from a castled prison
built within the marrow of these cowardly bones.
Spit, and tears, and beady crow eyes
have me shaking in my own skin.
Skin I once thought worn tough,
dragon scaled and fire proof.
It flakes, and it peels—
leaving me in naked, bleeding layers.
 
A cowardly lioness, fearing wrath
for sins of the flesh she can't help but commit.
 
Judge me not,
For even that is a sin.