Trying To Fill The Gaps

I fill this hole with people
Its a temporary fix
I feel momentary happiness
It never really sticks

Then disappointment settles in
My heart feels crushed again
Its a brutalizing cycle
That never seems to end

Spending my time thinking about
The ones I let slip away
All the while I'm slowly losing
The ones that are here today

People never measure up
There's no way that they could
Cuz I set my expectations higher
Than I know I ever should

Finding people to fill the gaps
Makes the game unfair
They lose before they start
With the way that I compare

Don't know how to love myself
So I seek an outside source
When I corrupt it into hate
I'm left with remorse

The loss of my family
Has obliterated my heart
Having to live without them
Is tearing me apart

Couldn't show what they meant
Its too late now they're gone
A feeling of no purpose
I can't move beyond

I thought that I was dealing fine
That changed when I met her
All it took for me to realize
Was the power of one word

Dad...when she said it
I instantly started to cry
That's what I was needing
I could no longer deny

What I'd always been wanting
I had the whole time
Helping her made me see that
But she isn't mine

No matter how much I wish it
It doesn't make it so
Why should I fight against
What I already know?

This is just me again
Trying to fill a void
Grasping for a small piece
Of something I destroyed