deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dryad I
At the stroke of midnight
with the full Moon hanging low
I was blinded by the light
no doubt flooding my brow
But there was more to this night
than I expected to see
moving beyond the shadows
to reveal himself to me
I've always felt truly blessed
at the presence of various Dryads
posing for my camera lens
in wooded and dense areas
Were it not so shadow-dark
and he not backlit by the light
I'm sure I'd have seen his face
and perhaps recognized
who or what, I'm not sure
and why remains a mystery
I never heard a message
before falling back to sleep
I'd all but forgotten the incident
undoubtedly absorbed by dreams
that a Spirit of ancient mythology
was now watching over me
with the full Moon hanging low
I was blinded by the light
no doubt flooding my brow
But there was more to this night
than I expected to see
moving beyond the shadows
to reveal himself to me
I've always felt truly blessed
at the presence of various Dryads
posing for my camera lens
in wooded and dense areas
Were it not so shadow-dark
and he not backlit by the light
I'm sure I'd have seen his face
and perhaps recognized
who or what, I'm not sure
and why remains a mystery
I never heard a message
before falling back to sleep
I'd all but forgotten the incident
undoubtedly absorbed by dreams
that a Spirit of ancient mythology
was now watching over me
Author's Note
GLADLY accepting critique on this piece. It was written on the fly upon remembering so needs fine tuning.
I barely remember taking this photo with my phone despite the fact I could barely see. There's a 200-year-old pin oak beside my house I prevented from being chopped down. I think it was saying "Thank you". Now maybe it protects me. It's not so unbelievable when one believes.
I barely remember taking this photo with my phone despite the fact I could barely see. There's a 200-year-old pin oak beside my house I prevented from being chopped down. I think it was saying "Thank you". Now maybe it protects me. It's not so unbelievable when one believes.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 16
reading list entries 1
comments 30
reads 502
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Dryad I
22nd Jun 2024 11:35pm
Re: Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 00:39am
The house was built in the early 70's, so around 65 years old or so. But the pin oak outside my window is about 250 years old. it's a giant and I've always felt close to it. My neighbor was bitching about because a limb fell onto her roof during a storm, causing extensive damage. She wanted it taken down and had the tree service out there to give her an estimate.
I raised hell because half is on this property, and I wouldn't agree. I stood my ground and told her just to get the damn limbs trimmed. No sense in cutting down a perfectly healthy tree housed with so many animals ( owls, squirrels, racoons, and possums not to mention the birds ).
Trees know. If it falls through my roof, I'm sure there are worse ways to die.
She finally threw up her hands and had the limbs trimmed. LOL!
I raised hell because half is on this property, and I wouldn't agree. I stood my ground and told her just to get the damn limbs trimmed. No sense in cutting down a perfectly healthy tree housed with so many animals ( owls, squirrels, racoons, and possums not to mention the birds ).
Trees know. If it falls through my roof, I'm sure there are worse ways to die.
She finally threw up her hands and had the limbs trimmed. LOL!
Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 00:11am
Wow! Thats an amazing experience, Ahavati and scary too. Ancient spirits are malevolent at times, either they come to curse or to bless. It's the same with the spirits of the Banyan trees here. They are often seen as beautiful people and love to take in human children to their world. Of course the children would be lost to our world. They are blamed for most of such occurrence. However they are also known to fall in love with humans, causing the human to see both our world and theirs...so, the human would look or act like having mental problems as he would be talking to someone we couldn't see. Either that or if he chose to see only his spirit lover, he would disappear from this world forever.
This is believed here, as shamans are usually tasked to bring them back from the other side. Sometimes they succeed, sometimes they don't.
Oops! Sorry for taking so much space after reading your poem Ahavati.
But I'm just so amazed.
This is believed here, as shamans are usually tasked to bring them back from the other side. Sometimes they succeed, sometimes they don't.
Oops! Sorry for taking so much space after reading your poem Ahavati.
But I'm just so amazed.
2
Re: Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 00:44am
I LOVE hearing about this, Grace. I have many photos of Dryads, but all during the day. This is the first time I was ever awakened at night. I don't believe it was malevolent because I felt safe. There was absolutely no fear and my spidey senses weren't going off.
I sleep like a baby or rock at night. Nothing hardly ever wakes me up. But this was a sudden wake and I sat straight up and looked at the clock: 12:01 AM. Looked out the window half asleep and the moon blinded me. I initially just wanted a photo of the moon because it was so beautiful. But then I felt something, and when I looked at the photo, I saw him. Looked back outside and he was still there, backlit.
I smiled and felt so sleepy and fell right back peacefully. It's as though I had woken up and seen an old friend, or my father checking in on me before he went to bed, his silhouette backlit by the hall light. I knew I was safe.
Love your stories!
I sleep like a baby or rock at night. Nothing hardly ever wakes me up. But this was a sudden wake and I sat straight up and looked at the clock: 12:01 AM. Looked out the window half asleep and the moon blinded me. I initially just wanted a photo of the moon because it was so beautiful. But then I felt something, and when I looked at the photo, I saw him. Looked back outside and he was still there, backlit.
I smiled and felt so sleepy and fell right back peacefully. It's as though I had woken up and seen an old friend, or my father checking in on me before he went to bed, his silhouette backlit by the hall light. I knew I was safe.
Love your stories!
Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 3:32am
That is absolutely stunning. The photos are haunting. Without the clarity in the poem it would be ominous as hell, but upon reflection of the reflection it’s really freakin lovely.
(Also?! Grace has the best stories)
I loved the flow, the rhyme, the storytelling. I loved the homage to the tree as it perhaps stood sentry for you. Really cool.
(Also?! Grace has the best stories)
I loved the flow, the rhyme, the storytelling. I loved the homage to the tree as it perhaps stood sentry for you. Really cool.
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 2:36pm
Thank you, Betty! I agree about the moodiness of the photos. I took another last night and it looks absolutely NOTHING like the above. I guess maybe it's a full moon thing!
( Yes! Grace has THE best stories! )
XO
( Yes! Grace has THE best stories! )
XO
Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 4:29am
Re: Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 2:37pm
Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 7:18am
That must have been such a beautiful revelation. I can certainly see something in your photos, not sure what, but it has a grounded energy. I believe we have spirits or other entities watching over us.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Ahavati 🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Ahavati 🙏🏻
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 2:38pm
It was it was! And you read the energy beautifully, Duende! I wondered if that's why I felt so heavy and tired after viewing it for a while. Definitely grounding, and I don't know of anything else that could be as grounded as a tree, or it's spirit thereof.
XO
XO
Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 9:20am
Dear A,
I wouldn’t know what to critique. Between the poem itself and the authors note I found this riveting. I enjoyed learning about dryads and between your experience and Grace’s comment this went from fabulous to awesome. It’s terrific as is. H🌷
I wouldn’t know what to critique. Between the poem itself and the authors note I found this riveting. I enjoyed learning about dryads and between your experience and Grace’s comment this went from fabulous to awesome. It’s terrific as is. H🌷
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
23rd Jun 2024 2:42pm
Thank you, Honoria! I appreciate your consideration of critique nonetheless! I also enjoyed your observations and interest in Dryads. I have photographed many, but they are sneaky! A lot of times I don't even realize I've photographed them until AFTER I review the photos! I feel honored they would reveal themselves ( they can certainly camouflage if they choose ), but I would also love to speak to them.
I think I missed a grand opportunity Friday night, or, erm, Saturday morning. But gosh, that energy was anchoring, and I actually slept hard until 9:00 AM!
I think I missed a grand opportunity Friday night, or, erm, Saturday morning. But gosh, that energy was anchoring, and I actually slept hard until 9:00 AM!
Re. Dryad I
24th Jun 2024 10:30pm
A beautiful visitation! Allowing a photo to capture was a true gift!
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
25th Jun 2024 00:52am
Re. Dryad I
25th Jun 2024 9:36pm
Critique of a Dryadic poem
******************************
I didn’t notice the rhyme at first, then when I did,’it petered out after the second stanza. Therefore, for that reason, the poem would be stronger with the rhyme reformatted. Perhaps:
At the stroke of midnight
with the full Moon hanging
low, I was blinded by the light, no doubt
flooding my brow. But
there was more to this night
than I expected —
moving from beyond the shadows
he revealed himself to me.
Then the rhymes that you had become internal rhymes, and also allow for some pleasing enjambment.
The introduction of Dryad in stanza three takes the poem to a new level. Some words seem superfluous. And dense areas is … strange.
I've always felt (truly) blessed
at the presence of (various) Dryads
posing for my camera (lens)
in wooded and (dense areas) tangled places.
******************************
I didn’t notice the rhyme at first, then when I did,’it petered out after the second stanza. Therefore, for that reason, the poem would be stronger with the rhyme reformatted. Perhaps:
At the stroke of midnight
with the full Moon hanging
low, I was blinded by the light, no doubt
flooding my brow. But
there was more to this night
than I expected —
moving from beyond the shadows
he revealed himself to me.
Then the rhymes that you had become internal rhymes, and also allow for some pleasing enjambment.
The introduction of Dryad in stanza three takes the poem to a new level. Some words seem superfluous. And dense areas is … strange.
I've always felt (truly) blessed
at the presence of (various) Dryads
posing for my camera (lens)
in wooded and (dense areas) tangled places.
0
Re: Re. Dryad I
25th Jun 2024 10:18pm
Hi, SeaCat. Always nice to see you back around, and I KNEW you would be the one to critique this!
Rhyme wasn't intentional, it just seemed to happen in the spur of the moment. I think much of it is half-rhymes.
I very much enjoy the enjambments you have suggested and particularly the notation of extraneous wordage and 'tangled places'. I love that much better than 'dense areas'.
Thanks for a fantastic critique! I will be revising this in the near future.
Right now, I am preparing to jet away for a few days but "Eye'll be bach!" :D
Rhyme wasn't intentional, it just seemed to happen in the spur of the moment. I think much of it is half-rhymes.
I very much enjoy the enjambments you have suggested and particularly the notation of extraneous wordage and 'tangled places'. I love that much better than 'dense areas'.
Thanks for a fantastic critique! I will be revising this in the near future.
Right now, I am preparing to jet away for a few days but "Eye'll be bach!" :D
Re. Dryad I
I was interrupted while writing the critique, and forgot that I had pressed “submit”. So when I finished and submitted the critique, saw that the earlier, incomplete one was already there :D
Note the additional suggestion for stanza two:)
Wishing you a fulfilling few days away.
Critique of a Dryadic poem: 2nd edition
*********************************************
The poem presents a good development of the story, and the introduction of the Dryad subject is delayed until the third stanza, which notches up the interest.
I didn’t notice the rhyme at first, then when I did, also noticed that it peters out after the second stanza. For that reason, the poem would be stronger with the rhyme reformatted into internal rhyme, with some enjambment. By way of example:
At the stroke of midnight
with the full Moon hanging
low, I was blinded by (the) light, no doubt
flooding my brow. But
there was more to this night
than I expected: moving from beyond
shadow(s) revealing
himself to me.
The introduction of Dryad in stanza three takes the poem to a new level. Some words seem superfluous. And dense areas is … strange.
I've always felt (truly) blessed
at the presence of (various) Dryads
posing for my camera (lens)
in wooded and (dense areas) tangled places.
In stanza four, shadow-dark is good, because in pairing these words, each adds depth and dimension to the other.
Stamza five, “I am not sure” is unnecessary, because it’s implied by “mystery” in line 2:
who or what,
and why remains a mystery .
I never heard a message
before falling back to sleep
And perhaps tie sleep into stanza one, for example in stanza 1:
“dreams blinded by light”, or “pulled from a dream by blinding light”. Or instead of blinding lighr, “Dream dazzled” for some alliteration. Just read “moon blinded” in your reply to someone’s comment. So perhaps dispense with light, and write “pulled from dreams, moon blinded”
The final stanza brings the poem to a good close, although “now” in the final line hinders the flow. Perhaps:
that a Spirit of ancient mythology was now
watching over me
Thereby giving an air of suspense before revealing what the Dryad is doing.
Note the additional suggestion for stanza two:)
Wishing you a fulfilling few days away.
Critique of a Dryadic poem: 2nd edition
*********************************************
The poem presents a good development of the story, and the introduction of the Dryad subject is delayed until the third stanza, which notches up the interest.
I didn’t notice the rhyme at first, then when I did, also noticed that it peters out after the second stanza. For that reason, the poem would be stronger with the rhyme reformatted into internal rhyme, with some enjambment. By way of example:
At the stroke of midnight
with the full Moon hanging
low, I was blinded by (the) light, no doubt
flooding my brow. But
there was more to this night
than I expected: moving from beyond
shadow(s) revealing
himself to me.
The introduction of Dryad in stanza three takes the poem to a new level. Some words seem superfluous. And dense areas is … strange.
I've always felt (truly) blessed
at the presence of (various) Dryads
posing for my camera (lens)
in wooded and (dense areas) tangled places.
In stanza four, shadow-dark is good, because in pairing these words, each adds depth and dimension to the other.
Stamza five, “I am not sure” is unnecessary, because it’s implied by “mystery” in line 2:
who or what,
and why remains a mystery .
I never heard a message
before falling back to sleep
And perhaps tie sleep into stanza one, for example in stanza 1:
“dreams blinded by light”, or “pulled from a dream by blinding light”. Or instead of blinding lighr, “Dream dazzled” for some alliteration. Just read “moon blinded” in your reply to someone’s comment. So perhaps dispense with light, and write “pulled from dreams, moon blinded”
The final stanza brings the poem to a good close, although “now” in the final line hinders the flow. Perhaps:
that a Spirit of ancient mythology was now
watching over me
Thereby giving an air of suspense before revealing what the Dryad is doing.
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
26th Jun 2024 12:57pm
Fabulous! Thank you, SeaCat! I'm taking some time off but will properly respond to this asap! xo
Re. Dryad I
27th Jun 2024 3:50am
I find the older trees have so much character.
How tall they get and how some are more round than linear.
All different personalities that cast amazing shadows too depending on the
placement of the sun.
Our town park had so many trees die. They looked so sad and were brittle - barley holding itself together.
They had to be replaced because whatever they had was contagious.
Jumped from tree to tree.
There is such an absence about the park now.
They've finally replanted in some areas - I just hope they take care of them.
How tall they get and how some are more round than linear.
All different personalities that cast amazing shadows too depending on the
placement of the sun.
Our town park had so many trees die. They looked so sad and were brittle - barley holding itself together.
They had to be replaced because whatever they had was contagious.
Jumped from tree to tree.
There is such an absence about the park now.
They've finally replanted in some areas - I just hope they take care of them.
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
30th Jun 2024 4:50pm
I agree, Adelphina. Trees are the oldest living sentinels on the planet, imho. The things they've grown up in, heard about, and witnessed must be equally amazing as horrific. The one right outside my window is around 250 years old. It's a pin oak, and I've always felt connection to oak trees, especially.
So sorry about the trees in your area. :( Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. xo
So sorry about the trees in your area. :( Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. xo
Anonymous
- Edited 18th Sep 2024 8:45am
3rd Jul 2024 12:16pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Dryad I
3rd Jul 2024 12:27pm
Re. Dryad I
Anonymous
4th Jul 2024 6:23pm
Wow Ahavati, the spiritual essence of this ink is beautiful. You truly connected with natures living. You’re a blessed soul for this connection, forever looked upon. Thank you for sharing it with us. Purple luv & hugs 💜
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
7th Jul 2024 2:20pm
Thank you, floweredone! Good to see you back around these parts. I do love nature. Don't be such a stranger! 💜
Re. Dryad I
14th Jul 2024 9:27pm
It's very atmospheric. I think you're a real storyteller that expresses the ideas in poetic or sometimes ballad-type styles.
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
14th Jul 2024 10:15pm
Thank you, Lozzamus. That's quite a compliment coming from such a proficient writer as yourself.
Re. Dryad I
9th Aug 2024 6:01am
This is an awesome piece :) I always keep an open mind to pretty much anything and everything being very spiritual myself. Until something is completely proven to me one way or the other my opinion is who am I or who is anyone to say what is and what is not? We don't know everything and things that perhaps cannot be in our plane of existence or on our planet, who is to say that they cannot be in their own plane or planet? I think it is very important to keep an open mind to things because there is so much more to life and existence than "this" as we know it. Enjoyed.
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
9th Aug 2024 3:12pm
Thanks, Michael! I totally agree with you. Thanks for sharing your observation. It's an important one.
Re. Dryad I
28th Aug 2024 6:43pm
Loved the ethereal and surreal aspect to it. I wanted to feel scared but at the same time felt secure in the fact it was a welcoming emotion.
Great work.
Great work.
1
Re: Re. Dryad I
28th Aug 2024 7:58pm