state of affairs

we only live once
so i try
to live twice
does that make me greedy
curious
or what?
so now
for 5 years
ive been a trans woman
5 years since the op
and the most curious thing
is i can't remember
having a penis
it's like it never existed
despite it's regular use!
i8 had sex oft
and it was wonderful
and gorgeous
and delightful
i realised
that i was sinply
a lesbian
with an attachment
life is surreal
now
i'm on my own
having tried a relationship
with a man
curiosty
killed the cat
and perhaps the pussy
i miss the conversations
but not the sex
the sex
i endured
but never rreally enjoyed
so what next?
i have no idea
but i date again
it will definitely be
with a woman
well almost definitely
statistically
from personal experience
about a 95% chance
or is it 94%?
i don't remember
i think i only slept with about 8 men
always after i was a little inebriated
so realised
that men were great for conversation
but personally
i didn't enjoy the sex
just drunken moments
of pleasure
but nowhere as delightful
as all the women
i slept with
i have no idea why it's classed as sleeping
such are the pretences
of languages
ironically
i'm now fucked
by the state