Are you there?

So bleak, so dark, so real and many can relate talking to their god. This a strong poem. Great work!

Thanks Keith. I honestly don't know how else to write. I can't sit here and make up pretty pictures and amazing over the top linguistic acrobatic showcases. I mean they're great displays of prowess but Id be lying if I said they didn't lack heart. A poem without heart is hollow fucking words. Useless, to me.

Dude your writing is killer. What's wrong with it?

You're too kind. Im indifferent to my writing. I neither dislike it or like it. It's just my thoughts put to words in a creative way. I was speaking of other types of poetry. The ones like I described. Those are the ones that feel hollow and without heart.

I do understand that is what a lot of people want. People like pretty things. The stuff I write. The stuff you write. Its niche. You will either get it and completely relate, be repulsed or think we are whiny bitches that would rather complain than do something about it. Oh well...it is what it is. End of the day, I write for me, first and foremost.

Totally. I get it. I have many poems that have one or zero replies. Kind of frustrating but, whatever.

And i suppose that is what it comes down to. The lack of comments or input. I always set my stuff for honest critique. It's not about praise. Id be happy with "heyn your poem sucks". Ya know?  
 
Its that feeling of "I don't get it". It bothers me. Im not a poetry connoisseur, no denying that. I said elsewhere here that Ive read more poetry since joining this site than I have in my whole life, but I read some of the stuff here and see rave reviews on the commentary and Im just left bewildered. Like did we read the same thing? Perhaps I lack the intelligence to fully appreciate what is on display. I'm an uncultured swine.

This struck a chord. I’ve struggled with faith/God my whole life.

I like the tempo, I think it works perfectly.

And btw…not everyone needs pretty things all the time. We need raw and realistic to balance it out. That’s what you’re for. Some people can’t acknowledge what they’re too afraid to admit hits too close to home. I think you f’ing rock.

Thank you so much! That means a lot to me! Im not looking for validation or praise but knowing that someone can relate to my thoughts and feelings is everything. ❤️

I get it.

It's okay, me either.

I don't have the skill sets, but I enjoy expression.

Slowly, though, I would like to pay respects to the classic art sometimes...

But I feel the true art in words are in the meanings  behind them.

Your poems speak very clear to me
with no depth lacking.

I've definitely felt this way before... and am still trying to come to terms... the world is a chaotic place for sure...haha!

♡

Hey. Thanks for your support. I appreciate it. Expression is what matters. Getting what's inside to come out.

Yea... the world is a fucking mess. It just makes me wonder how some ultimate being can just sit back and do nothing. Ya know? Like... do ficking something. Even if it's fire and brimstone this motherfucker into dust. Something!!

Ya know? Like... do ficking something. Even if it's fire and brimstone this motherfucker into dust. Something!!
😂😂😂😂👍🏻

Funny but sad at the and time. 😔

It’s just the way you wrote it. It is sad though, I don’t really subscribe to any deities as I believe in science, I believe all there is a space, and I believe the universe created everything.  
I feel for u feeling so damn defeated and it is tough not to give up, especially if everything you touch turns to shit; but I think that’s true for a lot of people. Some things just don’t work out the way you want them too and I’m not talking about romance per se, but like everything just fucken  sucks! Hey Darkness, as someone who has hit Rockbottom more times than I’d like to admit, I can assure you of this. Change just one thing that you’re doing in your life, just one thing even something like walking/ driving home the same way, change paths, or, instead of sitting quietly at a bar, take a shot and speak to someone, or go somewhere new like a book store, like Barnes & Noble ☺️ One change could trigger a different trajectory into a new direction.  
   
It’s been my experience that that is a true statement :) and not to make this about me, but-ah I must point this out. Yes, I’m at a low point, and yes I’m near the end of a permanent break up but one thing I know for sure is this, I always land on my feet one way or another. And coming from a doomsdayer type writer which I am, I do still believe the world is good, and that there are still good people in/on the planet ..  
Chin up you look nice from down here    
☺️👍🏻  
Jackie 🧡🖤

Thank you for your words. I truly appreciate you taking the time to reach out to me. 🙏

😂 I am female 🧡

Was a typo. Stupid swype and auto predict. 🤣

I am the queen of typos you’ll see 😂

The queen meets the king. I also very rarely proofread. I just click submit 🤣

The flow in this is awesome, you really have a hang for meter. This reads like it just spilled out of you effortlessly. Deep thoughts can have that effect.

Thanks Blue. It did spill out effortlessly. Pretty much anything I write is fine in 10 mins or less. Once I start, it just flows. I think my meter is from so many years of listening to rapb music. Got my firsr rap album at 10. I feel I'm love with rap from the first time I heard it. The cadence and the rhythm got me hooked right in. Been listening to rap for almost 40 years now. I honestly think that is where both my meter and my ability to just get things out so quickly come from.

That makes sense! Rap was one of my first loves, and has remained with me for years. I went through a really dark phase a few years ago and everything I wrote was a rap about my mental state. Here’s one - https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/445120-sick-schket/

👏 👏 👏 absolutely excellent 👏 👌 ink spill 👏 my friend 👏 very blunt and raw!! Your emotions in your expressions indeed heart felt!!

Like 👍 you said sometimes people need to hear the truth and not some bullshit fairytale!

Quick question 🤔 though you think it is wise to cuss at God's grace or for him to hear 👂 doesn't that thought alone fill you with fear!

Please 🙏 keep 👏 on writing ✍ ok peace ✌ and blessings 🙏 always

I dont actually believe in god. This was a cry out in desparation to someone I don't believe in. Like a last chance for him to prove himself if he exiats and if he doesnt prove himself then fuck it. He never did shit for me anyway.

I hear you my friend more power to you stay strong 💪 and be tough 💪 because they always say tough times don't last tough people do you copy!!

I feel you. Been here this long. Guess that means something.

I guess it certainly does my friend stay strong 💪 keep up with the good fight 💪 ok 👌

Yea it does, death is over rated Dark!

Faith is hard. I don’t know what or who to believe in. Except myself.

We are the same in this regard. I dont believe in anything either, except in myself and the pain I have endured. I think when you experience trauma or really bad times, it can either push you towards something to believe in, which you use as some sort of strength to help you through. Or it pushes you away from believing in anything, because if there is some supreme loving being out there, how would he/she/it be able to sit back and do nothing while so many suffer?

Thanks for reading...or listening girl! Always enjoy having you stop in and drop a comment. <3

I revisited this one after the reading drew attention to it. Not sure how I missed this one.

The way that this flowed so effortlessly from start to finish really grabbed my attention and I think the reading itself really amplifies that. This is such a good example of how rhyme can really work for a piece over hindering it.

Secondly, I loved the whole vulnerability thing here of addressing God himself. And maybe knowing a little about your history adds weight to that statement. Sometimes the living is just so complicated and we want answers to the what’s and how’s and whys.

Glad you’re reading out loud. Thank you for sharing this.

-M