Submissions by nightbirdblue
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction “You can use my skin to bury secrets in, and I will settle you down...” ~Fiona Apple
SELF POEM
Published
24th Aug 2020 7:38pm
24th Aug 2020 7:38pm
Again Sleepless
Opening Statement ]
suppressed anger
self hatred
deep shame
because I was afraid
...of myself
I do not trust me
and in this climate
self sabotage prevails
[ Insert Product Label ]
my sibling groomed me
to fulfill a disposition
that already existed
guilty is she, only
for continuing the
cycle of destruction
[ Closing Arguments ]
I turned to stone long ago
Because I thought that
No one loved me
Chaotic torture of...
suppressed anger
self hatred
deep shame
because I was afraid
...of myself
I do not trust me
and in this climate
self sabotage prevails
[ Insert Product Label ]
my sibling groomed me
to fulfill a disposition
that already existed
guilty is she, only
for continuing the
cycle of destruction
[ Closing Arguments ]
I turned to stone long ago
Because I thought that
No one loved me
Chaotic torture of...
#SelfHarm
#insomnia
#MentalHealth
#misunderstood
#FeelingLost
192 reads
7 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
7th Feb 2020 3:01pm
7th Feb 2020 3:01pm
You’re Looking Rather Smug
Brush it under the rug
No need to tell the neighbors
Hush now while I yell at you
And ask you to do favors
I crave your compliments
They build me up in esteem
For I am your Lord Master
So you willingly do my bidding
Let me pull the strings, babe
Trust me, I’m an expert
Deceit is my middle name
So I’ll never get arrested
No need to tell the neighbors
Hush now while I yell at you
And ask you to do favors
I crave your compliments
They build me up in esteem
For I am your Lord Master
So you willingly do my bidding
Let me pull the strings, babe
Trust me, I’m an expert
Deceit is my middle name
So I’ll never get arrested
#secrets
#abuse
#manipulation
#deception
#fear
287 reads
12 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
6th Feb 2020 10:41pm
6th Feb 2020 10:41pm
Smothered
He was a brute
And I was familiar
With the blunt edge
Of his shoulder bone
As it pressed into
My chest; suffocating
Pinning me to
The ground
His hand had punched
And grabbed my throat
And in one swift movement
He showed me
How much he
Really loved me
With a bruise
And I was familiar
With the blunt edge
Of his shoulder bone
As it pressed into
My chest; suffocating
Pinning me to
The ground
His hand had punched
And grabbed my throat
And in one swift movement
He showed me
How much he
Really loved me
With a bruise
#memories
#PTSD
#choices
#nonfiction
#DomesticViolence
314 reads
7 Comments
SPIRITUAL POEM
Published
6th Feb 2020 6:23pm
6th Feb 2020 6:23pm
Impress Upon Perception
as it bends
descending
geometric gravity
spins all around me
saturated in
recycled religions
collapsing, crash
blending beliefs in
cataclysmic relief
foothold wedged
on wind, whirling
quantum stars
release orgasms
organically
free for nothing
left clutching
quenching my
hyperbole
collapsing
left standing
in the rain
descending
geometric gravity
spins all around me
saturated in
recycled religions
collapsing, crash
blending beliefs in
cataclysmic relief
foothold wedged
on wind, whirling
quantum stars
release orgasms
organically
free for nothing
left clutching
quenching my
hyperbole
collapsing
left standing
in the rain
#identity
#spiritual
#LifeChangingMoment #surreal
#LifeChangingMoment #surreal
198 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
6th Feb 2020 1:10pm
6th Feb 2020 1:10pm
I Fell
For you, rescuer
Over and over
As a child, as a teen
Lost my footing
Traveling home
Down the road
On my own, all alone
Left me wondering
Whose responsibility
Claimed my name
Time passed
My heart played games
Flirting with fate
When instead
I should have
Pushed ahead
On my own
Not alone, but also
Not entangled
With you, rescuer
I fell for…
I loved you all
Unconditionally
There were many
Not just one
A man, a woman
A child, an elder
An...
Over and over
As a child, as a teen
Lost my footing
Traveling home
Down the road
On my own, all alone
Left me wondering
Whose responsibility
Claimed my name
Time passed
My heart played games
Flirting with fate
When instead
I should have
Pushed ahead
On my own
Not alone, but also
Not entangled
With you, rescuer
I fell for…
I loved you all
Unconditionally
There were many
Not just one
A man, a woman
A child, an elder
An...
#confessional
#learning
#SelfReflection
#gratitude
#responsibility
217 reads
6 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
29th Jan 2020 10:39pm
29th Jan 2020 10:39pm
My hands are wet with your blood;
I buried him in the dirt
The plot was nicely laid
Sprawled out upon the cold moist earth
Drowning in words
Suffocating
The plot was nicely laid
Sprawled out upon the cold moist earth
Drowning in words
Suffocating
#satirical
#PowerOfWords
#LifeCycle
#MovingOn
#DomesticViolence
213 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
22nd Jan 2020 10:57am
22nd Jan 2020 10:57am
To Be... Or Not
I want to be
All of the things
That I am not
I hate me
I want to cut me
I want to kill me
Dead
And then
I want to wake up
Wake the fuck up
And get on
With my life
The way that I want to
Fuck it all
Bury it all
I want it all
To fucking end
Give me more
Than I ask for
Please give me
A reason to live
When the choices I make
Are validly fake
I presume
It’s not worth it
Kill me I say
And go on my way
A new me shall arise
Before thee
All of the things
That I am not
I hate me
I want to cut me
I want to kill me
Dead
And then
I want to wake up
Wake the fuck up
And get on
With my life
The way that I want to
Fuck it all
Bury it all
I want it all
To fucking end
Give me more
Than I ask for
Please give me
A reason to live
When the choices I make
Are validly fake
I presume
It’s not worth it
Kill me I say
And go on my way
A new me shall arise
Before thee
#suicide
#rebirth
#frustration
#FeelingLost
#SelfWorth
261 reads
5 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
1st Nov 2019 5:53pm
1st Nov 2019 5:53pm
Trivial Children
Wet words are weeping
I lack vocabulary
Salting wounds that sting
Crave in quantity
Gripping at abandonment
I thought we were friends
But then you left me
Without a word, all alone
Darkness swallows me
I lack vocabulary
Salting wounds that sting
Crave in quantity
Gripping at abandonment
I thought we were friends
But then you left me
Without a word, all alone
Darkness swallows me
#rejection
#heartbroken
#shame
#ignorance
#despair
285 reads
8 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
29th Oct 2019 12:46pm
29th Oct 2019 12:46pm
Flakey Figures
I tore the fabric of my comfort
Into strips of bandages
That laced over my body
To repair the damages
I ripped the fabric of my mind
Distorted visions leaked out
Staining the only cleanliness
Held tight between my thighs
I danced around the fire
Engulfed in pulsing waves of heat
Until sanity flew away
Cackling back at me
I fell into the sky
Let the river carry me
Depositing my ashes
As rain upon the leaves
Into strips of bandages
That laced over my body
To repair the damages
I ripped the fabric of my mind
Distorted visions leaked out
Staining the only cleanliness
Held tight between my thighs
I danced around the fire
Engulfed in pulsing waves of heat
Until sanity flew away
Cackling back at me
I fell into the sky
Let the river carry me
Depositing my ashes
As rain upon the leaves
#secrets
#rebirth
#drugs
#boredom
#choices
315 reads
9 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
28th Oct 2019 7:10pm
28th Oct 2019 7:10pm
Goodbye
There was a part of me
That I had outgrown
I had to let it go
And I mourned for me
That me that was no longer
That which was no longer
Is now gone
That I had outgrown
I had to let it go
And I mourned for me
That me that was no longer
That which was no longer
Is now gone
#grief
#identity
#learning
#MovingOn
#acceptance
265 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
28th Oct 2019 7:03pm
28th Oct 2019 7:03pm
Reinforcement
I see you’ve had a child
A daughter with your eyes
The mother, only just of-age
And she doesn’t quite yet
Know the rhythm of your lies
I just can’t wrap my head around it
You’re full of so much fucking shit
And I haven’t cared about you in so long
But now I find myself unblocking
Find myself now stalking
These feelings I can’t contain
Like I’m trapped and want to run away
You fucked a girl the same age
As I was when you first fucked me
But this time you made a baby
And I thought I’d be happier for you
Moving on...
A daughter with your eyes
The mother, only just of-age
And she doesn’t quite yet
Know the rhythm of your lies
I just can’t wrap my head around it
You’re full of so much fucking shit
And I haven’t cared about you in so long
But now I find myself unblocking
Find myself now stalking
These feelings I can’t contain
Like I’m trapped and want to run away
You fucked a girl the same age
As I was when you first fucked me
But this time you made a baby
And I thought I’d be happier for you
Moving on...
#strength
#relationships
#abuse
#MovingOn
#StreamOfConsciousness
218 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
19th Oct 2019 1:42pm
19th Oct 2019 1:42pm
Paranoia Sinks Its Teeth
Been dealing with
Some monsters lately
In my dreams
They overtake me:
Hatred
Anger
Jealousy
My fear of
Being cheated
The dregs
Of inadequacy
I am not worthy
And I am drowning
In self pity
But it’s just
So
Heavy
I seek:
Kittens
Cigarettes
And Razor Blades
How could you
Really love me?
Can’t you see
The parasite
Living in me?
Do I fear
Confrontation?
Oh indeed
But you see
My voice
Has been suppressed
By those before...
Some monsters lately
In my dreams
They overtake me:
Hatred
Anger
Jealousy
My fear of
Being cheated
The dregs
Of inadequacy
I am not worthy
And I am drowning
In self pity
But it’s just
So
Heavy
I seek:
Kittens
Cigarettes
And Razor Blades
How could you
Really love me?
Can’t you see
The parasite
Living in me?
Do I fear
Confrontation?
Oh indeed
But you see
My voice
Has been suppressed
By those before...
#grief
#PTSD
#despair #nightmares
#despair #nightmares
226 reads
DU Poetry : Submissions by nightbirdblue
