The Bridge

When I was little, my parents died
I don’t remember a thing
A car accident, a wrong-way driver
Just a scar left on my chin

I’ve been on my own, from house to house
Never anywhere too long
When bad stuff happened, I’d close my eyes
Sing myself a made-up song

As a teenager, I found true love
From there, everything would change
I was wanted then like never before
He possessed my body, my brain

There were cigarette burns and sleepless nights
It was all done out of love
Until yesterday when I almost died
The abuse I couldn’t speak of

The sex started up like always
Then his hands went ’round my neck
I called his name, asked him to stop
A move that I’d regret

The nurses knew, the doctors sighed
They tried to pry it out
But I said not a word, he’d come for me
And of that I had no doubt

I had the trust my parents left
One of the few secrets I kept
When the discharge came, I left on my own
On the airport ride I wept

A one-way ticket to San Francisco
To the bridge, off I would leap
I sat on the plane, with the few remains
Few pieces of me I could keep

And so came a boy, who sat by my side
He played music from my favorite band
He saw all the tears, the way that I shook
He eased my grip with both his hands

I noticed a scar across his left wrist
A cut that I knew too well
I spoke and cried and confided in him
Hoping he was the last I would tell

A tear escaped the corner of his eye
He lifted his sleeves to his shoulder
After that we compared matching scars
The same rounded burns, his much older

Throughout the long flight we delved in our past
We both shared a similar story
Orphans so young, wanted by none
He said that for me he was sorry

For hours he spoke, tried to save me
His words filled with nothing but hope
I listened and cried, he dried all my tears
I still hadn’t learned how to cope

He spoke of the world, of all that was good
He said he would help with my life
I had little faith, no confidence left
Only thinking of the afterlife

I thought I’d come back, a new flawless soul
With parents I could call my own
No hurting, no scars, no stupid regrets
Just a family that I could call home

Then he offered a secret, a time in his life
The moment that he slit his wrist
He told me the moment his skin opened up
It was instant regret, a plot twist

When the abuse came he dreamed of one day being gone
Until the chance came to him in the shower
He locked up the door, then a dull razorblade
He sliced left to right, found the power

He said that he cried, screamed into the phone
Horrified by what he couldn’t undo
He said in that moment he couldn’t erase it
“And I swear this will happen to you”

For hours we spoke, so much to be said
We both told of our darkest secrets
He just had become my most favorite person
I made promises, I just wouldn’t keep ’em

The plane finally landed, we both walked away
He offered a hug, then we lingered
He wouldn’t let go and asked me to stay
He released me, held on to my finger

Letting him go was harder for me
Much harder than I had expected
I knew more about him than anyone else
Held a happiness he had infected

But then he was gone, I was back on my own
I stood out and hailed a cab
I quickly rushed in and settled myself
On the way caressing my scabs

I looked out the window to such a large bridge
Intimidated by my trepidation
I slowly got out and took a deep breath
Took some pills for a little sedation

Walked a few steps and a shadow appeared
Surprised by the non-isolation
He took a step forward, his face filled with tears
At my presence and determination

We sat on the sidewalk, weeping out softly
“You promised to me that you’d try”
I just couldn’t face him, my face forward now
I just shrugged and told him good-bye

“You know you survived, you made it out safe
You made it out, it’s for a reason”
He slid out his thumb to under my chin
To where it all started, he eased in

His lips came upon me, he nestled me close
We kissed there for a while
We walked to his car, he buckled me in
And drove aimlessly for miles

He then swore to me, the reason we met
Was more than a mere encounter
He then called it fate, but couldn’t explain
That destiny had a strong power

Pulled up to his house, I followed him in
I had no words, there was no fear
I felt so at home, he pulled me along
To me this all was so unclear

We stopped at a door
A closet of sorts, had to open it up with a key
“I promise to say why I’m not giving up
And just why on that bridge I should be”

Tugged open the door, not sure what to think
Yanked on a string and turned on the light
The walls were all covered with portraits and photos
Where so many people took flight

He had different drawings, color, black and white
Of the bridge and the jumpers all scattered
I turned back to look, his face to the floor
In his hands a drawn pic of what mattered

With my hair, from behind, staring out from the bridge,
A picture of me leaning over
He sniffled then sighed, pulling me to the side
In that moment, he seemed so much older

“I’ve dreamed of this bridge, of saving a soul
Of complying with my hidden secret
I’ve waited for years, for when you’d come along
So the promise I made, I would keep it