deepundergroundpoetry.com
For by Grace
In a world of chaos
there's virtue known as Grace
a gentle balm for souls
that cannot be replaced
a melody sung by the heart
composed by brilliant celestial Art
the creator's value world's apart
from human's attempt to recreate
it's written in the holy book
for by Grace and not deed
should a man want to look
be discerning and just read.
there's virtue known as Grace
a gentle balm for souls
that cannot be replaced
a melody sung by the heart
composed by brilliant celestial Art
the creator's value world's apart
from human's attempt to recreate
it's written in the holy book
for by Grace and not deed
should a man want to look
be discerning and just read.
Published 14th Jan 2024
Author's Note
Learning to write rhyming poetry
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
14th Jan 2024 5:48am
Dear G,
I think you’ve got the rhyming concept down pat. Lovely meter, universal subject, wonderfully executed. To have grace is such a gift. To make it rhyme is talent. Well done. H🌷
I think you’ve got the rhyming concept down pat. Lovely meter, universal subject, wonderfully executed. To have grace is such a gift. To make it rhyme is talent. Well done. H🌷
14th Jan 2024 5:58am
Dear H
So kind of you to say so but I think I need more practice. Thank you so much for reading me. Honoured as always.🌹
So kind of you to say so but I think I need more practice. Thank you so much for reading me. Honoured as always.🌹
14th Jan 2024 9:33am
The first and last stanzas are looking good with a nice consistency of syllable count from line to line, but the middle stanza lines are a bit longer and really ought to be shortened up a wee bit to help stay in rhythmic solidarity with the other stanzas.
I like the message in the middle stanza a lot, but it might land on the ear a bit better with a few shorter words traded out for the longer ones, such as swapping out the word "stellar" for the word "celestial" in the second line. That would shorten the line by two whole syllables while maintaining the meaning.
One option is to limit the rhymes to every other line, which might be easier initially, until you get used to it.
That type of rhyming was common on old 8 and 6 ballads, which you are already really close to.
I use a rhyming dictionary, and I occasionally break down and use rhymezone.com if I get into a jam.
Some words just have way more rhyme options than others, and so those are the words best reserved for line endings.
Fun fact...The Italian language has way more rhymable words than English. Aren't they the lucky ones:)
You're a strong writer to begin with, so I think you'll pick it up fast.
Keep on keep'in on!
I like the message in the middle stanza a lot, but it might land on the ear a bit better with a few shorter words traded out for the longer ones, such as swapping out the word "stellar" for the word "celestial" in the second line. That would shorten the line by two whole syllables while maintaining the meaning.
One option is to limit the rhymes to every other line, which might be easier initially, until you get used to it.
That type of rhyming was common on old 8 and 6 ballads, which you are already really close to.
I use a rhyming dictionary, and I occasionally break down and use rhymezone.com if I get into a jam.
Some words just have way more rhyme options than others, and so those are the words best reserved for line endings.
Fun fact...The Italian language has way more rhymable words than English. Aren't they the lucky ones:)
You're a strong writer to begin with, so I think you'll pick it up fast.
Keep on keep'in on!
14th Jan 2024 1:01pm
Thank you for the tips MidnightSonneteer. I will keep them in mind. I like expressing my words according to what I feel though, rhyming or not. Thank you for dropping by and reading. Appreciated as always.:)
14th Jan 2024 5:57pm
15th Jan 2024 5:02pm
15th Jan 2024 10:00pm
20th Jan 2024 7:19pm
20th Jan 2024 10:35pm
I'm not very good at rhyming Wally but one can but try. Thanks for your encouraging comments. Much appreciated 😊
