deepundergroundpoetry.com
Box Of Puppies
Good morning Del. How you doing lover?
It sucks that you have to work today. Yet it's cool, that you're working the holiday so that you have an extra day when you come visit again. Kinda like how I'm working tomorrow, whether I'm over this flu or not.
Isn't modern technology great? Our two video calls for celebrating New Year's last night. Once for my midnight and then for yours an hour later. We hung in there! I knew you had to work today. And yeah, my flu (a cold, covid, the lung plague, whatever it is) had me a little blah. Thank god for our resilience and humor!
Anyway, I figured I would drop you a note, explaining something. About why I call you my box of puppies. When you read this, maybe it will give you just a bit more of an understanding of how I'm wired.
When I was kid, we had a golden retriever named Bonnie. She was a great dog. One year, she got pregnant by the neighbor's German shepherd. When she had the puppies, my brother and I went to the plaza and got a refrigerator box from behind one of the stores. We dragged it the mile or so home.
Bonnie had those puppies outside. She had dug a hole and literally buried herself up to her nose. It took quite awhile to find her, but I did. Getting dad to agree to move her and the puppies inside was a chore. Because mom didn't want the whining, or the smells, to mess up her living room existence. Mom practically lived on the couch, if she wasn't in bed. So, convincing dad to side with us took a bit of effort. But dad usually agreed with me. I rarely asked for much.
One day, after a crappy day at school, I came home to one of the puppies whimpering outside the box. They were about four weeks old by then. Old enough to try to do dog things, but too young to be a fully functioning dog. They were just little things. All bellies and stubby legs.
Bonnie saw me and started doing a "Help me" squirming dance. She probably could have lifted the puppy back into the box, yet she was hampered by the six other ones clinging on a nipple, or draping over her neck.
My mom was sitting on the couch. The TV blaring some soap opera as loud as a war zone. I guess it would've been too much trouble for her to get off her ass and put the puppy back into the box. Then it would have stopped whining. Then, she could have turned the TV down, back to a tolerable level. But I suppose even common sense is too much work for some lazy people.
Bonnie did her happy dance, when I placed the puppy down beside her. She smelled it and then licked its face, soothing its tears. It tucked itself under her and settled in with its brothers and sisters. Glad to be home.
I climbed into the box, and laid down beside this mess of a mama dog and all of the squirming curly tails. I lightly scratched between Bonnie's eyes and she relaxed enough to let them all scamper for a better sleeping spot. Their stomachs were baby-bloated and now they wanted to rest awhile.
My mom hollered at me. She told me to get out of that box of piss and shit. That I was going to get my school clothes nasty. But I ignored her. It's not like my clothes were nice or anything. It's not like she paid for them.
I was so happy, laying in that box. The puppy smells. Their soft whimpers of contentment and dreaming. Bonnie sleeping, her non-stop task of being a mom, getting to take a break.
Too long, Del, I grew up being a cardboard box. I've tried to protect everything, all my life. My little brother, my friends, strangers in a bar, and even my country. I've lost count of how many fights I've been in. All for the sake of what I thought was the right thing. But, I'm biased to things that I truly love. I love so fiercely. I gather things into my fortress and I take the battering. And I'm still here. I'm tired though. Maybe this flu is reminding me that I'm just as vulnerable.
Even if I look like an old, battered box, it still can hold the warmth inside. Just add another blanket if need be. An extra layer to my heart. An igloo can be made of cloth you know. While this cardboard fortress holds up another year.
Over the years, this box that makes me who I am has taken a hell of a beating. Being a part of it, I tend to not see the outside of it. You do. And you don't know how happy that I am, that you find it acceptable. Presentable even, to your family and friends.
I've always been the box, Del. I take it all in. Sometimes I think that I'm just the total of what I allow inside. Aren't we all? I'm nothing without my results. My success is the contentment of those that matter. Yet sometimes, when I'm thinking, I wonder what it could be like, to be that puppy that's returned to the box.
I want to relax, finally. I want to be nourished. I want to be consumed by the pace of joy all around me. I know that it is up to me. To step away from the confines of being the structured box itself. To allow myself to concede to the risk of being vulnerable. To even climb out, and see how I was too rigid, even if I meant well. It's time to be a part of all that I once protected.
You are a box of puppies, Del. All of them. Your untarnished joy and your enthusiasm. And your smiles of eagerness. Your eyes that look at me like I'm the circus that came to town. I feel not just wanted, but longed for. Waited for.
I could describe, instead, the wonders of your womanhood. Your lust-worthy body. Your devouring passion. As if it's never been realized before.
Not right now, though. For now, it's about how I'm crushing the corners of this box, that make me so damn stoic. I am no longer bound, by so many pieces of tape. Various types that I tried to contain myself with, over the years. Do you even realize how you've peeled me away from that existence? Somehow you have the ability to open me. I've never been so free inside.
It's because of you. You brought back that day that I was tangled up in so much joy. Of puppy kisses, of being climbed upon and smothered with a love that isn't tarnished. And, of knowing that life is good now, yet will be so damn great as we grow.
I don't love you because of how you look. Or how our lovemaking is what people dream about, but can't realize by day. I love you because you are joy personified. Because of how there is no fighting for love with you. When you take my hands, I have no fists. My heart was a fist for so long, Del. I was always prepared to repel, on guard. Yet you aren't the rapunzel that led me into the tower. You are the one that led me out.
Happy New Year, baby. Ours will be in two weeks. Every visit is a holiday, isn't it? From the first kiss at the airport terminal, to every last one at our "See ya later", they're all just continuations.
I only have one resolution to keep this year. To love you just like I did yesterday. All those years of being the cardboard box, maybe I was really just protecting my own heart. It's yours now. And it's perfect. And you deserve everything in it.
I love you, with every inch of my battered body. And with every beat of my unblemished heart. Come claim what is yours.
-Mark
Published 2nd Jan 2024
| Edited 7th Jan 2024
Author's Note
I have the flu. Yay '24! But I have enough energy to write!
Happy New Year, peoples!
Happy New Year, peoples!
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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2nd Jan 2024 00:32am
Great Title... the rest did not disappoint... hope you feel better... Happy New Year...
2nd Jan 2024 1:21am
(I keep finding little areas in it to edit. Lol)
Thank you, LDF. I was after something different to write. That title has been with me for a few months now. It was time to put it to use.
And thanks for the well wishes. I've had better new years (healthy!) But I've also had worse! So I'm grateful all the same.
Thank you, LDF. I was after something different to write. That title has been with me for a few months now. It was time to put it to use.
And thanks for the well wishes. I've had better new years (healthy!) But I've also had worse! So I'm grateful all the same.
Anonymous
2nd Jan 2024 00:49am
Nothing better than a box of puppies. Wonderful tribute to the woman you love.
Happy New Year, and quick recovery.
Happy New Year, and quick recovery.
2nd Jan 2024 1:25am
I have to work tomorrow! One of our company policies is that if you miss the day after a holiday then you don't get holiday pay. Plus we had three guys out sick last week. So I feel obligated to not let work get too far behind.
And yes, it is a tribute. It's also the truth.
Happy New Year to you as well. And good health to you! Lol
And yes, it is a tribute. It's also the truth.
Happy New Year to you as well. And good health to you! Lol
Anonymous
2nd Jan 2024 2:25am
Fuck stupid company policies- there should be exceptions made, especially if you have a doctor's note. I mean, way to spread Covid, flu and other diseases. Sheesh.
I had to teach two days in December with Laryngitis. That was a challenge.
I had to teach two days in December with Laryngitis. That was a challenge.
You are right. The first sick guy came in after Christmas, because of policy. Then two more got sick. I made it through the week, but it sure came on by Saturday .
And I can't believe you teach at all. Kids nowadays.... I swear I don't know how you can muster the energy. You are a much better person than me in that regard! I applaud you!
And I can't believe you teach at all. Kids nowadays.... I swear I don't know how you can muster the energy. You are a much better person than me in that regard! I applaud you!
2nd Jan 2024 1:35am
You have given such a beautiful tribute even during the flu.. It takes a lot of energy to write all this..And yes maybe it is for Adelphina... I would like to say that she is so lucky...well I liked the box of puppies a lot...n I wish You will get well soon...n
Happy New Year🎇
Happy New Year🎇
2nd Jan 2024 1:57am
Happy New Year's, Dimpy. I hope yours is awesome way over there.
Thank you, and yes, this write is definitely about Adelphina. I didn't want to sit around this morning and just feel sorry for my sick self. So I used the idle time for something good. I will be better soon, and life will keep going well!
Yes, I always assume the good. It's my motto!
Thank you, and yes, this write is definitely about Adelphina. I didn't want to sit around this morning and just feel sorry for my sick self. So I used the idle time for something good. I will be better soon, and life will keep going well!
Yes, I always assume the good. It's my motto!
2nd Jan 2024 2:04am
Holy shit, Styx!!!! This is stunning. I think I held my breath the whole time I was reading. Your writing is so good, I know you could have conjured this from your imagination, but knowing it's for a real person... that just makes me so very happy for you both. The world needs more of this sweetness - I feel richer just knowing it exists. Thank you for sharing this peek into your incredible heart.
❤️❤️k
❤️❤️k
2nd Jan 2024 2:32am
What's up BT !!
Thank you very much.
I've been a warrior type my whole life. Even though I wrote sweet stuff sometimes, in private. I don't think we pick our "type" of personality. But, we get old. There has to be a reward sometime, for our diligence. That's where I am now, I think. Her and I deserve this. And peace within.
And maybe a puppy. Lol.
Thank you very much.
I've been a warrior type my whole life. Even though I wrote sweet stuff sometimes, in private. I don't think we pick our "type" of personality. But, we get old. There has to be a reward sometime, for our diligence. That's where I am now, I think. Her and I deserve this. And peace within.
And maybe a puppy. Lol.
2nd Jan 2024 1:53pm
This is the most beautiful love note I've ever read. So naked & fully invested. I got no more words than that...
4th Jan 2024 1:59am
Hey Willow, how's you?
Thank you. This was a heady write for me, obviously. I wanted something different to post, and this just took off on its own really. I really appreciate the comment. I wasn't sure how it would read in public!
Thank you. This was a heady write for me, obviously. I wanted something different to post, and this just took off on its own really. I really appreciate the comment. I wasn't sure how it would read in public!
Anonymous
2nd Jan 2024 2:40pm
What a beautiful letter! There's so much said in this piece that goes deeper than the words used to express it.
4th Jan 2024 2:02am
Hey Confluence, happy New year.
I did some editing on it, as I was posting it, to clean up some lines etc. It turned out okay I think, and I will gladly take a "beautiful" any day. So thank you very much.
I did some editing on it, as I was posting it, to clean up some lines etc. It turned out okay I think, and I will gladly take a "beautiful" any day. So thank you very much.
2nd Jan 2024 10:45pm
There's a whole lot of guys out there, who would be more the wiser, to be schooled by you, on the correct way to treat a woman.
4th Jan 2024 2:06am
Well I'm not so sure about that! But thanks for the boost! I just try to work on me, and hopefully I do okay out there. There's a lot of blessings to getting older. It's a good trade, as youth leaves us. I have no complaints!
Happy New Year Madame!! And thank you!
Happy New Year Madame!! And thank you!
3rd Jan 2024 1:40am
Hey there my key lime sweetie pie,
I've read this all day. hahaha
You know, I don't even remember the first time you called me that. You're box of puppies. It's always been your
sweet phrase to tease me with on the phone because I was always so excited to talk to you. How I'd talk
really fast when I was excited to have you on the phone. It was such a rush. I was so nervous the first time I called.
You know, when you called me out and basically dared me to call since we texted all the time! LOL
It was right after you posted Dash.
And now - we are basically inseparable thanks to technology.
You never pushed anything. You let me be chaotic, emotional - whatever mood I was in - you were there
to help me with your calming presence. I have loved you for a very long time. How can I not when you
write me such beautiful love notes.
If there's one thing I know about you - you don't bullshit.
If you don't mean it - you don't say it!
You are 100 percent genuine.
And yes, a puppy one day would be great!!
This is the best feeling ever - and it's all thanks to you and
that beautiful brain of yours. You're an amazing man!
I've read this all day. hahaha
You know, I don't even remember the first time you called me that. You're box of puppies. It's always been your
sweet phrase to tease me with on the phone because I was always so excited to talk to you. How I'd talk
really fast when I was excited to have you on the phone. It was such a rush. I was so nervous the first time I called.
You know, when you called me out and basically dared me to call since we texted all the time! LOL
It was right after you posted Dash.
And now - we are basically inseparable thanks to technology.
You never pushed anything. You let me be chaotic, emotional - whatever mood I was in - you were there
to help me with your calming presence. I have loved you for a very long time. How can I not when you
write me such beautiful love notes.
If there's one thing I know about you - you don't bullshit.
If you don't mean it - you don't say it!
You are 100 percent genuine.
And yes, a puppy one day would be great!!
This is the best feeling ever - and it's all thanks to you and
that beautiful brain of yours. You're an amazing man!
4th Jan 2024 2:16am
Well Dammit...what do I say to that?!
How did we know then that it would get us this far? I didn't ever expect it would develop into such a real relationship. You deserved kindness and respect. You are unique, Del. And this is just as new for me, really. I cherish our time, and can't wait for more, and more.
And hell yes, the Xmas tree can stay up until you get back. We have a plan!
We can make our own rules, ya know. It's our time.
Smooch!
How did we know then that it would get us this far? I didn't ever expect it would develop into such a real relationship. You deserved kindness and respect. You are unique, Del. And this is just as new for me, really. I cherish our time, and can't wait for more, and more.
And hell yes, the Xmas tree can stay up until you get back. We have a plan!
We can make our own rules, ya know. It's our time.
Smooch!
5th Jan 2024 4:27am
TY for sharing this incredible story which touched me all the way to the innermost of my innermost. I have been going through a rough time of late and you brought me something very special. Hug from your old nearly 80 year old fellow scribbler. Me scribbler, you poet. Smile.
7th Jan 2024 3:25pm
How's it that you can be so modest, I've read your own "scribbles" sir. Your mental skills reach your fingertips just fine.
This write of mine was something different to share, sort of a way to show how things click for me, perhaps. Who knows why we become who we are exactly. We all have our flaws and dings in our psyche. But, we also have the ability to override what needs to be.
I hope you're doing better now, my good man. And glad to see you posting again!
This write of mine was something different to share, sort of a way to show how things click for me, perhaps. Who knows why we become who we are exactly. We all have our flaws and dings in our psyche. But, we also have the ability to override what needs to be.
I hope you're doing better now, my good man. And glad to see you posting again!
11th Jan 2024 2:15am
You'll be alright one day, Styxian! I totally agree that as long as you can write it means you are mentally okay & I think that is the most important attribute anyone can possess. I actually mean that sincerely when you strip everything back! ;-)
11th Jan 2024 2:32am
I know you're sincere. And, I will be one of those brains in a jar that will get a new body someday. Lol. I want to live forever! Our brains are the lifeline. Who knows where technology will take us, physically. I want to be there for sure.
Thanks dude. I appreciate your energy!
Thanks dude. I appreciate your energy!
11th Jan 2024 2:35am
Just promise me you'll never become a cheap AI imitation of yourself, ok dude? Sorry... The Rolling Stones... I still think you're great. Lol. ;-)
11th Jan 2024 2:44am
11th Jan 2024 2:45am
14th Jan 2024 7:38pm
You're an amazing dude Mark.
Fighter for what you perceived to be right at the time. Veteran. Puppy saver. Lover. And a remarkable story teller.
I know what it's like to be the box and also what it is to crawl out of it.
Great write
BIG LIKE
RL AWARD
Fighter for what you perceived to be right at the time. Veteran. Puppy saver. Lover. And a remarkable story teller.
I know what it's like to be the box and also what it is to crawl out of it.
Great write
BIG LIKE
RL AWARD
15th Jan 2024 1:56am
Well your comment is going on my resume' !
Thanks Gary. I think my best trait is that I'm a good natured guy. Sometimes my humor is blunt and dark, but it's all to make the days tolerable. Right? We gotta get through life with some smiles. So why not make them happen.
I appreciate it, my man. Thank you.
Thanks Gary. I think my best trait is that I'm a good natured guy. Sometimes my humor is blunt and dark, but it's all to make the days tolerable. Right? We gotta get through life with some smiles. So why not make them happen.
I appreciate it, my man. Thank you.
17th Jan 2024 11:22pm
22nd Jan 2024 3:32am
Good evening Cipher!
Thanks a bunch for that. I was looking for something different to write about, different in "style" I guess. This was what I came up with, obviously.
Hopefully it reads as well as I meant it.
Thanks a bunch for that. I was looking for something different to write about, different in "style" I guess. This was what I came up with, obviously.
Hopefully it reads as well as I meant it.
