deepundergroundpoetry.com
Day With Dad
They say you can't quite return
to the old home again,
it won't be the same.
But what I think is meant
is that you dragged it behind you
when you left, years ago.
So if you ever return,
it's been spread thin behind you.
-Like a kite tail
that does its own wind dance,
regardless of where the kite leads.
Sure, it follows a pattern
but not always exactly.
~
I went to dad's.
He is dying again
on his third false alarm.
They keep laying him down
and he keeps standing up.
He hates it there you know,
no one is allowed to smoke.
So he gets close enough to better,
so he can go home, and smoke.
I doubt there is any damage left to do.
He inhales more stubbornness
with every drag.
Defying the nicotine gods
to strike him down.
Damn ol' Irish,
you think that what you can't see
can't hurt you.
Out of sight, out of mind,
but it's coming, to surface.
He never was an affectionate man.
What, with a beer or cigarette
in each hand.
But his eyes said it all;
His laughter, even if
it wasn't so funny.
He made it seem easy to do;
Live a life, paint a room
with joy and a raucous voice.
A strong man, but easy going,
and everyone befriended him.
His shoulders were made for more
than the t-shirts that he preferred.
But it was his kindness
that made them circle him
and made them remember him.
Made me wonder,
did he spread it out too much;
All the care and the love
and left a wife and kids,
because so many people needed him
in the taverns.
I went back, to dad's,
this time a man.
He asked me about the life I've lived
-Just like his.
He swore it wasn't right for me.
How he saw it, but never said a thing,
because I'd be hardheaded, just like him
and do, what it is I do
all over again.
I want to remember him
there, leaning against the pool table.
His McDermott cue replacing
what could've been a cane.
Yet, he never was one to complain.
We shot several games,
I was up a few.
His Irish mentality
called for one more,
then another.
Then, another.
You'd think I'd ease up,
but I think I'm too Irish.
-Or is it the German?
Soon, I was up so many.
I want to remember him
smiling, slapping my back
as he whipped me oh so many games
when I was a boy.
He used to laugh and ask
if I was ready for some more.
I would bore holes into his head
with my Taurusean glare.
I'd rack them with a fury
and he'd smile his father's smile,
knowing, I was just like him.
All the sudden, I didn't need to play
to win anything more today,
because this day was free.
A day of just dad and me.
Then, the thunder threatened to end
our thousand year championship session.
I looked to the sky
as closer, the darkness closed the time.
I told myself one more game,
so we can quit tied.
If we hurry, I can lose.
(I hope I can make it look accidental).
Hurry, before it rains.
The clouds will click off the lights
and our pool hall porch
will be closed for the night.
Hurry dad, take a shot
(I want to remember us, as tied).
"Great shot!" I beamed across the table
as he began to re-chaulk his stick.
The McDermott I had gotten him
long before I knew exactly
what I had gotten him.
The greatest gift, he ever got;
A sword, for his crusade.
But, he asked,
"You don't want to play a breaker?".
"Nah, I have to go close
the windows at the cabin".
"Sure?", his eyes doing the taunting.
"Okay dad, one more".
The clouds were our audience
and what a vicious crowd they were;
Fidgeting, rude, restless.
Days like this,
I call on that god of yours
and hope that He still cares
about the little things.
"Rack'em, loser"
I did as I was told.
Yet, tap tap said the rain,
no more games played today.
Take your sticks and go inside,
as I lay this damper on your day.
I will remember my dad...
going and standing
under the clouds erupting
-How he raised his cue
and stabbed at heaven.
Then swore, "Just a minute, you!".
Everyone seemed to like my dad,
even the ones who barely knew him.
He always got another chance
and he always seemed to know
that he was going to be the winner.
Damn, how I envied that smile,
that knowing that I was a winner.
But my brother got the smile
and the temper.
I got the eyes
and that heart
of a dreamer.
Meanwhile, Heaven waited.
Dad won, the battle and the game.
The sun even peeked out
long enough to shine the spotlight
on his neon blue eyes
and to golden his image.
Of a broad shouldered man,
pushing the clouds
back at Heaven.
If only for a few minutes.
But I remember thinking,
perhaps it had waited
not because he cursed it,
but because it didn't know
what yet to do with him.
How do you deny a man
that loves everything.
How do you defy the man
that defies Heaven.
~
Only a dad would buy
his son a blue kite
and understand, when
the kid names it the Red Baron.
-Because it flew fierce, into the wind
and its tail followed
a destined pattern.
~~~
Published 26th Oct 2023
Author's Note
He's been gone awhile. I miss our time. He was a good guy.
RIP dad.
RIP dad.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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26th Oct 2023 2:15am
hello dearest Styxian this is one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read
the details and the way it all flowed together I know you better now...
your dad seemed like a difficult but good man...I too have challenged heaven
but also knew when not to go to far...I'm sorry for your loss 💕
the details and the way it all flowed together I know you better now...
your dad seemed like a difficult but good man...I too have challenged heaven
but also knew when not to go to far...I'm sorry for your loss 💕
26th Oct 2023 2:34am
Hello Crimson!
He was a good dad. That's all that mattered to me. The older I got, the better we got along, because I understood him by then.
He was far from perfect. But that made him human.
He's also the reason I took up creative writing. He loved to write.
He was a good dad. That's all that mattered to me. The older I got, the better we got along, because I understood him by then.
He was far from perfect. But that made him human.
He's also the reason I took up creative writing. He loved to write.
26th Oct 2023 2:42am
26th Oct 2023 2:53am
Hey whats up!
This is actually the shortened version. I appreciate you sticking with it. I get a bit long with the ink, I know. Lol.
Thanks for the kudos, too. Writing this one did me a lot of good.
This is actually the shortened version. I appreciate you sticking with it. I get a bit long with the ink, I know. Lol.
Thanks for the kudos, too. Writing this one did me a lot of good.
26th Oct 2023 7:19am
Jeepers, and you talk about top tier. This is golden, absolutely golden. The overlapping metaphors lean into the clouds, the raw thread of freedom to choose lingers throughout. It is just glorious and lines struck me about my own life and loved ones. Superbly strong write.
29th Oct 2023 3:40pm
Thanks for that.
This is basically a true event. He loved to shoot pool. And drink beer. Lol.
He was a good guy all in all.
Long story short: When I got out of the Army, I was a bit of a mess. His easy going nature and casual habits helped me slowly ease back into the norms. Good medicine.
This is basically a true event. He loved to shoot pool. And drink beer. Lol.
He was a good guy all in all.
Long story short: When I got out of the Army, I was a bit of a mess. His easy going nature and casual habits helped me slowly ease back into the norms. Good medicine.
26th Oct 2023 8:05am
As a man who was the main caretaker of my mother
During her last days...this vibe resonates on such a deeper level
Much respect to you, your Dad and your posthumous memoirs
This was a very intimate and enjoyable read indeed
Naaj
During her last days...this vibe resonates on such a deeper level
Much respect to you, your Dad and your posthumous memoirs
This was a very intimate and enjoyable read indeed
Naaj
29th Oct 2023 3:46pm
I envy the maternal attachment that you had. (I have two older sisters who filled that blank for me)
And likewise, as dad got older, and things started deteriorating for him, I tried to be for him what he was to me. It truly sucks watching our pillars crumble. Yet they ultimately must.
A lot of my best traits are from him. I have no complaints there .
And likewise, as dad got older, and things started deteriorating for him, I tried to be for him what he was to me. It truly sucks watching our pillars crumble. Yet they ultimately must.
A lot of my best traits are from him. I have no complaints there .
27th Oct 2023 2:06am
Hi Styx,
I'm so happy you had this kind of relationship with your dad. Our parents don't come out perfect. When it comes
down to it - they're people - just like everyone else. Some flawed more than others.
This whole piece feels like wanting time to stand still - we're reading along suspended - helping you push those clouds up - not yet - one more game!
I'm sure wherever he's at he's so very proud of you:)
What a wonderful tribute to your relationship as father and son.
I love it:)
.
I'm so happy you had this kind of relationship with your dad. Our parents don't come out perfect. When it comes
down to it - they're people - just like everyone else. Some flawed more than others.
This whole piece feels like wanting time to stand still - we're reading along suspended - helping you push those clouds up - not yet - one more game!
I'm sure wherever he's at he's so very proud of you:)
What a wonderful tribute to your relationship as father and son.
I love it:)
.
29th Oct 2023 3:52pm
Thanks my love.
The biggest difference with me and dad was that he very rarely stepped out from his comfort zone. Whereas I used to a lot. I caused him a bunch of worry back then. Lol.
But I think the shared mentality we had, made him understand me better. As I did him.
I always knew he would sincerely care, no matter what. That's priceless.
The biggest difference with me and dad was that he very rarely stepped out from his comfort zone. Whereas I used to a lot. I caused him a bunch of worry back then. Lol.
But I think the shared mentality we had, made him understand me better. As I did him.
I always knew he would sincerely care, no matter what. That's priceless.
28th Oct 2023 11:33pm
My dad was the strong silent type.
One of the greatest generation.
He never said much about the war, spared us mostly from the horrors. He was so quiet about a lot of things I wondered all the time what he was thinking. I found out though later in life long after he was gone.
Then the love we both felt was apparent in view. By stories people told me, by the little things he did but couldn't explain at the time. I envy the outward relationship you had with your dad. Your poem has flow and vibe and character and once again reminded me of the great dad I had, silence or otherwise.
Well done Mister 👏
BIG
One of the greatest generation.
He never said much about the war, spared us mostly from the horrors. He was so quiet about a lot of things I wondered all the time what he was thinking. I found out though later in life long after he was gone.
Then the love we both felt was apparent in view. By stories people told me, by the little things he did but couldn't explain at the time. I envy the outward relationship you had with your dad. Your poem has flow and vibe and character and once again reminded me of the great dad I had, silence or otherwise.
Well done Mister 👏
BIG
29th Oct 2023 4:02pm
Thank you Gary.
He didn't talk much about his own military experience. Nor his dad's. It wasn't anything glamorous though, same as mine. I did feel obligated to go in, to carry on the tradition so to speak. I don't regret it.
Dad loved to write, late at night. He was mostly secretive about it. But once I found a few, it opened a whole new perspective of my dad for me. How deep his thoughts went. How loving he truly was at heart. It made me love him more, as a person.
He didn't talk much about his own military experience. Nor his dad's. It wasn't anything glamorous though, same as mine. I did feel obligated to go in, to carry on the tradition so to speak. I don't regret it.
Dad loved to write, late at night. He was mostly secretive about it. But once I found a few, it opened a whole new perspective of my dad for me. How deep his thoughts went. How loving he truly was at heart. It made me love him more, as a person.
29th Oct 2023 6:42am
Dear S,
Poignant. Heartfelt. Just beautiful. It’s so easy to forget parents are just regular people trying to make their own way. I really loved your memories and shared relationship. As per, your storytelling holds captive your audience who just keep coming back for more. Lovely write. H🌷
Poignant. Heartfelt. Just beautiful. It’s so easy to forget parents are just regular people trying to make their own way. I really loved your memories and shared relationship. As per, your storytelling holds captive your audience who just keep coming back for more. Lovely write. H🌷
29th Oct 2023 4:09pm
Hello H.
This write was easy. It's taken from an actual day. Obviously I built it up a bit. But it happened. He was extremely stubborn, and defiant subsequently. But, he had a great nature about him. So some things were forgivable, Lol.
A lot of people get ripped off when it comes to dads. Mine was more like a great friend as I got older. So, that's a gain in my book.
Hey, you have a great Sunday!
This write was easy. It's taken from an actual day. Obviously I built it up a bit. But it happened. He was extremely stubborn, and defiant subsequently. But, he had a great nature about him. So some things were forgivable, Lol.
A lot of people get ripped off when it comes to dads. Mine was more like a great friend as I got older. So, that's a gain in my book.
Hey, you have a great Sunday!
