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Dark Horse


I†was†thirty,†when†I†was†ten.

~

When†you†anointed†me,†with†fists
it†caused†me†a†crown
When†the†points†brought†blood
you†drew†liquid†red†slashes
upon†my†downturned†cheeks

Then†you†paraded†me†around†the†room
pulling†me†along†by†my†matted†hair
With†each†stumble,†reminding†me
that†if†I†fell†yet†again
I†wouldn't†walk†anymore†that†day
As†fear†would†cause†me†to†stay
down

The†oddest†part,†including†the†other†things
was†how†the†lights†were†always†on
and†always†during†the†day
So†contrary†to†suspicions
-No†one†else†home,†to†intervene

No†witnesses.

~

Time†never†stopped
it†never†waited†for†me
to†catch†my†breath
I†couldn't†learn†to†speak†right
I†could†never†gain†much†weight
They†concluded†how†metabolism
made†me†what†I†was,†and†wasn't
No†one†could†see,†my†mind†feeding
off†of†my†body.
Time†never†slept,†yet†never†filled†anything
so†I†ate†what†I†could;
A†belly†full†of†dreams.

It†became†a†hiding†place,†the†dark
I†realised†that†if†I†couldn't†see†the†monsters
then†thus,†they†would†never†see†me
I†finally†smiled,†alone,†in†the†darkness

I†built†an†imaginary†castle
inside†that†pitch†black†closet
I†learned†to†ride†the†horse†there;
Black,†strong,†wild
It†took†me†far†beyond†your†eyes
to†somewhere†calm†in†the†distance.
You†never†did†find†me
Well,†just†my†body

I†rode†that†horse,†back†into†an†abyss
of†fantastic†dreams
I†could†still†feel†the†pricks†against†my†skin
but†they†were†merely†thorns
as†I†tore†wildly†through
my†make†believe†forest
upon†that†determined†steed.
I†felt†those†pricks,†upon†my†skin
but†they†were†only†thorns
trying†to†get†in
I†rode†them†out,†my†dark†horse
carried†me,†until†I†slept
alone†again.

I†forgot†the†parts†I†was†supposed†to†forget
My†child's†mind†playing†tricks
from†all†the†nightmares
that†you†gave†me†in†handfuls
I†was†never†ready†for†what†was†next
Yet†my†dark†horse†bowed,†lifted†me
until†I†no†longer†felt†a†thing.

~

But†each†candle†on†the†cake
gave†me†legs†for†my†escape
Then†I†spent†years,†reversing†my†age
trying†to†realign†each†growing†phase
Of†where†I†belonged
of†where†I†meant†to†be
when†I†reached†true†thirty.

I†do†recall†my†homecoming
I†brought†with†me†the†perfect†rose
whose†thorns†folded†over
for†my†gentle†hands
This†budding†romance†was†all†I†had
to†show†that†I†had†grown†into†a†man
As†proof,†that†I†was†beyond†you

Yet†so†quick,†so†effortless
you†shredded†everything†about†her
Bit†down†with†your†vicious†voice
and†cold,†winter†words.
I†stood†defeated
as†you†slapped†me†into†reality
You†screamed†of†how†you're†dying
and†taking†me†along†for†your†ride.

But,†if†Lucifer†really†wanted†me†too
then†he†should†have†been†ready.

All†as†suddenly†I†stood
I†found†that†crown†of†thorns
I†rose,†my†old†dark†horse†raising†me†higher
Nightmares†carried†me†for†years
gave†me†this†wild†steed
to†beat†you†down†to†your†knees

Bow,†witches†find†lasting†comfort
shrieking†back†into†their†pit
Hell†left†a†door†hanging†open
for†your†falling†backasswards
as†you†took†a†flaming†exit

A†crowded†house†burns†the†loudest.

In†the†aftermath,
I†gathered†the†rose
and†the†petals,†in†pieces
I†tried†to†rub†away†her†scorn
But†her†thorns†now†stood†erect
not†allowing†me.

I†should†have†warned†her;
My†mother†isn't†well,
has†never†been.

~

And†I†was†thirty
The†same†as†ten.


~~~
Written by Styxian
Published
Author's Note
An oldie, edited.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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