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My Sun. Our Diamond
Earth...
She's bleeding
Thunder is rolling
and rain is falling
Earthquakes shake her
Break her to peices
But her core
Is still well kept together
By the gravity
of her Sun
Yet, she struggles
to bloom her flowers
Her skin... is dying
And the air around her
causes wind storms
of such Horrific events
But deep inside
Inside her core
Diamonds commence
Solidly formed
Growing. With warmth
Warmth from her heart
and the Glow of her Sun
Protected by iron
Impenetrable Amity
That loves her
until the end of the Galaxy
The Sun wishes
to hold her
But she will burn
he will be punished
When all he wants to do
Is
Love Her
And keep her from danger
From the evil
that wants to discpline her
The evil
that shuns her Sun
He is
Her Guidence
Her Guardian
He holds her Soul
The Fundamental key
He gives light
Makes her captivated!
Sheilds
THEIR
Diamond
That they made
with ALL of their Love
A Beautiful Diamond
Perfectly
Concieved.
By: Bethany
She's bleeding
Thunder is rolling
and rain is falling
Earthquakes shake her
Break her to peices
But her core
Is still well kept together
By the gravity
of her Sun
Yet, she struggles
to bloom her flowers
Her skin... is dying
And the air around her
causes wind storms
of such Horrific events
But deep inside
Inside her core
Diamonds commence
Solidly formed
Growing. With warmth
Warmth from her heart
and the Glow of her Sun
Protected by iron
Impenetrable Amity
That loves her
until the end of the Galaxy
The Sun wishes
to hold her
But she will burn
he will be punished
When all he wants to do
Is
Love Her
And keep her from danger
From the evil
that wants to discpline her
The evil
that shuns her Sun
He is
Her Guidence
Her Guardian
He holds her Soul
The Fundamental key
He gives light
Makes her captivated!
Sheilds
THEIR
Diamond
That they made
with ALL of their Love
A Beautiful Diamond
Perfectly
Concieved.
By: Bethany
Published 19th Apr 2012
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19th Apr 2012 10:46pm
Very good poem Bethy. Well thought out and executed. Nice image of conception. Nice use of the simile throughout. One thing however, you probably need to modify the line that says she is kept together by the gravity of the sun, because technically it's not true. The simile breaks apart there. In realty the gravity of the sun would only destabilize the coherence of the earth. You could change it to the earth being held by the sun, held in the embrace of the sun. You could say she is held, well protected, in the embrace of her sun, but technically, not held together by the sun. Other than this a fine little love poem.
20th Apr 2012 3:26pm
yes :) i tried to put good imagery into it. But gravity is pulling. its meant to say shes breaking. and her sun helps pull her together. But thank you :D i thought really hard on this poem. it has a true meaning
20th Apr 2012 3:18am
20th Apr 2012 3:26pm
25th Oct 2013 5:59am
26th Oct 2013 00:24am
