The Battle

Dear God, my heart is broken and it has been for so long.
I feel so weak inside myself but im trying to be strong.
I fight this battle daily and im not sure that I can win ...
Im still stuck in the past you see where I have always been.  
I miss all the ones God took away , especially my dad.  
In recovery I dwell on things that make me very sad.
In addiction I avoided things,  my mind was such a mess.
I just tried to numb the pain , I really must confess .
Sobreity is hard as hell, cuz all I do is think.
Its really bad because they say I shouldn't even drink.  
So im supposed to face reality, completely on my own..
And its so hard to do that when I feel so all alone.
Don't pretend u understand,  our fight is not the same.
Our minds are very different and we've just ourself to blame.
So many fight addiction, I know that much is true...
But what goes on inside my head, you haven't got a clue.
All the painful memories that fill me w regret.
All the thing that haunt my mind that I cannot forget.
All this pain inside of me thats tearing me apart...
All the scars that bleed so deep inside my broken heart.  
You may have walked the same road and worn the same old shoes,
But inside of us were different so please don't get confused.
I cannot stand sobreity. It tears me up inside,
Im drowning in the sea of tears that I alone have cried.
I miss my dad and need him now like I never did before....
With him id stand a better chance to win this stupid war.
I know there's many others who are also feeling sad...
Who are fighting an addiction and the pain of missing dad.
But don't pretend you understand,  don't tell me that im wrong  ...im fighting thru this weakness and im trying to be strong.
I just wish I had someone to help me win this fight,  to help me w these demons that i battle every night.
   God grant me the Serenity...
To accept whats meant to be.  
   To know the things that I can change solely depends on me .
   Grant me please the courage, to change thing as I can... cuz the way that I've been living is not part of your plan.  
   Grant me please the wisdom cuz I know what I must do .. To get on track and not look back and live my life for You!