As softly as my heart left

 
 
I love you.
 
And I didn’t want
the last words I ever
purposefully say to you
 
to be venomous
(like they were)
 
Because you’re still
every moment  
of my day.
 
The crinkle of a bag of
Ruffles
(not Lays)
 
Two Reece’s cups  
spooning in  
a vending
machine.
 
Dancing on the  
rooftop
and cuddling
in a rainforest,
and all those
sweet moments
between the chaos
 
that made
me
want to  
not
be me.
 
That made me want to
be someone  
you could have
wanted  
(loved)
 
just a little longer.
 
So.
 
This is the point
I lock up my heart
and bury the key
 
but there’s nothing left
to protect.
 
Baby,
you took  
it with you.
 
and the hole
is bottomless  
the agony is  
indescribable
 
and my regret…
(breathe in)
 
(god. no.)
 
so I want the last
words I ever  
say to you,
as my remorse
silently soaks
a pillow
 
to be these:
 
I love you.