Stress Test

The chest tightens as I struggle to stay longer on the treadmill. It is an early stage. “Look forward, think of something pleasant, a pleasant time in your life,” the doctor advised.

 
I walk into warm waters, into a strait of
wavelets drawing the edge of Toledo City
I walk until I can not, until
 
I have to use my arms and legs
Chest knotting, I pause while paddling
to look back at the shore, at life, at work
 
'How are you feeling, sir?'

The treadmill inclines with a loud whir
and I feel the sand between my toes
I would dash to the beach daily after  
 
bounding out of bed and before  
raw eggs on hot rice, run barefoot on  
the asphalt road cooled by the night air  
 
I would hurry to the beach again before  
sundown and dinner before the sounds  
of crickets and bayle from the town plaza
 
'We are slowing it down now, sir'

I go to the water alone but sometimes  
the sea would grant me a bamboo pole
aged, weathered and darkened by salt
 
this is what will flash before my eyes
wavelets redrawing the shore of Toledo
as I swim to a distance where I can rest  
 
the bamboo pole is under my arm
they're setting the table for dinner  
back on land but I will stay a while
 
I turn to look back at the shore  
now small, the shore of sixty eight years
and I push the bamboo pole away.