deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Malady
Familiar with the conflict
feelings of hope and dread
begging for relief
hanging by a thread
Distorted emotions
no power to reign
immobilising terror
difficult to abstain
Self-doubt and insecurity
concealing shame and guilt
never fleeting fear
the reality I built
Calm exterior, a façade
masking turbulence
hiding from pain
submission to permanence
Devoid of emotion
the soul in despair
drowning in spirits
the armour I wear
feelings of hope and dread
begging for relief
hanging by a thread
Distorted emotions
no power to reign
immobilising terror
difficult to abstain
Self-doubt and insecurity
concealing shame and guilt
never fleeting fear
the reality I built
Calm exterior, a façade
masking turbulence
hiding from pain
submission to permanence
Devoid of emotion
the soul in despair
drowning in spirits
the armour I wear
Published 26th Feb 2023
Author's Note
"Imagine trying to live without air. Now imagine something worse." - Amy Reed
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 372
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Feb 2023 5:07pm
26th Feb 2023 5:20pm
Thanks Tim, I'm sorry you do. I have a friend struggling at the moment. She saw me at my worst. I wrote this to let her know "I get it". No judgement from me!
26th Feb 2023 5:17pm
hello beautiful Mel I feel you on this pain
I do drugs I used to drink soon I have to quit
and I won't lie I'm scared because I know I can't cut it
I'm much too vulnerable otherwise 💕
I do drugs I used to drink soon I have to quit
and I won't lie I'm scared because I know I can't cut it
I'm much too vulnerable otherwise 💕
26th Feb 2023 9:36pm
Dearest Crim,
My empathy bones are ringing for you. It is a scary place to be. Emotions are distorted, dulled and exaggerated at the same time. We are left to process life and experiences through a mind that is chemically affected. Our personality becomes structured around guilt and shame and we wear our addiction like a safety blanket. It is difficult to imagine what being well will feel like after having fallen ill. Nonetheless, it is possible for both me and you to gather the courage to reign over our fears. There is a strength in you. You were born a child of light and capable of returning to the beauty you have always been. Bless Dear friend. xx
Mel
My empathy bones are ringing for you. It is a scary place to be. Emotions are distorted, dulled and exaggerated at the same time. We are left to process life and experiences through a mind that is chemically affected. Our personality becomes structured around guilt and shame and we wear our addiction like a safety blanket. It is difficult to imagine what being well will feel like after having fallen ill. Nonetheless, it is possible for both me and you to gather the courage to reign over our fears. There is a strength in you. You were born a child of light and capable of returning to the beauty you have always been. Bless Dear friend. xx
Mel
26th Feb 2023 9:48pm
thank you beautiful Mel my husband wants me to quit I want to be clean but have failed many times it scares me what if I can't do it? I have a plan I'm going to see my doctor and see if he can prescribe something to help some doctors do... I know I can do it with help ❤️
27th Feb 2023 00:50am
26th Feb 2023 11:51pm
27th Feb 2023 00:51am
27th Feb 2023 8:03am
Hi Mel,
Hearing you and resonating with those well written lines. A lot of this DUP community, myself included, are fighting this fight.
It's nice to know we are not alone. Glad I read your work. It makes a difference in a persons day.
All our light together will produce a Nova....
BITS
Hearing you and resonating with those well written lines. A lot of this DUP community, myself included, are fighting this fight.
It's nice to know we are not alone. Glad I read your work. It makes a difference in a persons day.
All our light together will produce a Nova....
BITS
27th Feb 2023 8:25am
Hi BITS,
Thank you for the read. The RL is an honour. Yes, knowing I am not alone in my struggle helps. Love this community… need the connection to like minded people. Take care and bless🙏
Mel
Thank you for the read. The RL is an honour. Yes, knowing I am not alone in my struggle helps. Love this community… need the connection to like minded people. Take care and bless🙏
Mel
