Roulette Wind

My goddamn heart, in a bowling bag

Goddamn Styxian 💔

Yeah well, I gotta keep it put away and zipped up for safekeeping...  

I was talking to a friend about you today and I had to come back and read this again. You definitely have such a sincere and honest approach and I find that so commendable.  This really is so good  

The bowling bag did trip me again....That single line hurts.

Yikes.  Hopefully you were kind about me to your friend.  Lol.  Sometimes we get furthered along by others sharing "us".  -That's how I got to DUP, actually.   Someone told me about it and suggested I jump in.   I was on another site, far more secretive with myself than I am here.   But, it's too generic that way.  Regardless of the skill output.  Here, we deserve our identities.  It's sort of behind the scenes, for those who choose to be more open of course.  
  I am all about "people" and our souls and psyches.   It's interesting.  It's fuel.   We can feed off of what we read.  Camaraderie furthers our growth.  

  This write, I actually edited a bit.  Usually I just spit them out as is.  And I can tell because of the different directions it seems to take.  Like a storm, perhaps.  

One of these days, I will work on "brevity".  I'm not known for being brief at anything.  Lol.

LOL relax I should have put it in the comment itself. I said a writer that I know. Not where anything else LOL I just greatly admire your ability

As I do yours, LadyFancy!   Everything you write, is worth reading.  It's thought inducing.  

The gentle honesty and calm voice of this are so resonant. Metaphors organic. I relate on a personal level as so many sober realities intrude like the sagging of my ceilings from water damage, pushing 50, tired and aching, finding comforts in my solitude.

So it seems to me that you're doing pretty damn good, considering!

I actually got ready to go out tonight, then changed my mind. Bad weather was my excuse.   Sometimes solitude is good company.  I got tons to do anyway.  Lol.

I like the entire poetic ambience of this ink spill, my poet, it's very relatable and mental sobering in the least.

You're correct in the ambience aspect, my dear.  The moods being a little conflicting.  
Thanks for your nod of approval!  It says, a little veiled perhaps, a message to someone.  

You are humbly welcome, always..

This is exceptional and well handled. I love your take on that awful phase between full feeling and numbness. 💚

If I had to explain what I was after in this, besides your excellent take, is a stack of bitter defeats facing a hopeful chance at a win.  What matters is what is in front of us.  
It is impossible for me to ever stop being hopeful.  It's a huge part of my motivation to write, as well.  
Thank you for your comment.  I sincerely appreciate it.

I don’t know that my grasp of words can do justice to what I just read.  My heart ached and then dared to hope in an entirely familiar way.  Well done, Styxian.

Thank you Luna.  Your grasp of words is no less than mine, if you can get so much from reading this.  Your comment nailed it exact.  

Geez. How are you so good at this?? I never feel like I have anything intelligent enough to say in response to your writing, but I'll take a stab at expressing how this one speaks to me.... the tone of calm resignation makes part of me want to scream (the part that's not done being fire and tornado). The other part of me envies the peaceful acceptance of it all. Anyway, it makes me feel a lot of things. And your metaphors are simply brilliant.
❤️k

I prefer to know what you feel about the write, verses an overly "intelligent" response that makes me wonder if I'm doing good enough.  Your replies are consistently fine. And always appreciated.  More often than not, I write with feeling and not so much "intelligence".  

 I think my main feeling in this write is of being tired.  But i won't whine it out. Lol.  Sometimes my metaphors are to allow me to keep some things open for interpretation.   Yet they're usually obvious pretty quickly as well.  
   By nature, I'm a very calm and rational person.  Yet it doesn't mean there isn't a fire inside that kicks up from time to time.   All the bad fires are behind me.  And hopefully I have one good fire left.  It's about time to find out.  :-)

BTW, seeing your little red haired avatar makes me happy.  Your comments are awesome .

Do you know, legend claims that koi serve as a protection. If a koi dies, it took an aim meant for you. So perhaps keeping several embers as koi in a concrete fountain is a good thing—protects that bowling-bagged heart. 😉 this was the perfect read for my mood tonight so thanks for sharing.

I did not know that!   Thank you for the piece of knowledge.  And the way I used it then, fits well enough.  So that's cool!  
  There was an extravagant building I once visited, I don't remember where.  The first entrance room was huge.  A lot of big wide windows.  The floor was almost entirely a pool though.  It had decorative concrete pathways over it, mini bridges, etc, that you had to cross over to get to the "main" rooms.  The pool wasn't very deep, maybe two feet.  And it was lit up with lights within it.  It was loaded with koi. At least a hundred of them. Various colors and sizes, etc.   It was a beautiful place.  Obviously I haven't forgotten it.  I was there for an important reason, and I have no recollection what for now.  But I remember the koi room.  
   I hope your mood is a good one today?  Ironically it's windy as hell here today.  Fits my write.  Lol.  
  I'm glad my write had a positive effect for ya, too.  That's always good to know.  Thanks for telling me so!

Sounds like a very unique & fascinating place. It’s interesting how some things etch themselves into our memory.  Been windy where I am too! Must be hints of spring.  Though I guess where you are seasons aren’t as marked… ☺️ i always appreciate your writes but this one in particular. 😊

Take a bow Styx. Once again you have captured the human condition with searing honesty, vulnerability and a nod to defiance. Pretty sure we could settle down with a bottle of Jameson and share stories. Life is a universal urgency. Rob

"Life is a universal urgency"- what a great line!  
I'm actually literally a tree most the time. But, once something or someone gets inside, the blender kicks in.  Lol.  I'm pretty stoic about everything on the outside.  But man, I'm a kid at the fair on the inside.  
*I have a bartender friend who refuses anyone who asks for a mixed drink with Jameson. He'll tell you no and give it to you as a chilled shot or in a tumbler on ice.  The owner gets pissed because to him it's costing money since the customer will settle with Beam or less.  But, some of us will still take the Jamie too.
 I think it's called "Thompsons", a house whiskey that isn't bad. It gets the ginger ale every time.  Lol

Bowling bag line
Pulitzer Prize worthy
Here in the Underground
It's a BIG LIKE

I'll be coming back to this jewel again.
Like a Tuning Fork watch, only made for those who needed to be different as time is time....

RL AWARD of course

What a cool comment.  Lol.
I took out the "pathetic" line that followed the bowling bag one, because in retrospect it's more a self protection aspect and not really a pathetic thing.   Yeah?

I actually had something else in mind to post last night.  But ended up working on and posting this one.  I'm glad that it was received well.  

How you doing today, btw?

Sometimes liking someone hurts eventually, too.  Maybe it saves us from the bigger hurt.  

I love the meteorite line, clever.  The idea of leaning into a tornado paints a heck of a picture.  Guarding that last little ember, smart.  Honestly line after line of awesomeness.

LJ

You definitely picked out the good points to this.  Sometimes my writes get a little too broad in scope, and I fail to keep them within a proper scenario.  That's also why I'm horrible at brevity.  Lol.
 Thanks for your awesome take on this one, LJ.  You have a keen vision.

You'd want to shield a broken heart like that I suppose. It's only human after all. Nobody wants to get burned but it happens. Nobody is perfect but they wish or want to be. Let it go. Open to new things. Be the flower in bloom in Spring. That can happen too. Nice write, very heartfelt.

Good comment!   I try to not be too cynical about the whole thing anymore.  I know there is always hope and always that one more chance to make it all work out.  I tend to use humor to protect my insides.  Maybe too much!  
No one is nowhere near perfect.  That would get boring probably.  Our quirks make us unique!

Thanks! Indeed humor is a balm to the soul and body and healing is profound, even if over used. How can we not?? :)