Putting You Away
The last tide of the day is going out
I guess it's a good time for our goodbye
even though you left hours ago
I waited, to watch the ocean follow you.
I knew, you had that kind of power
even if you didn't
Because you were looking away.
I walk the bartering line
where the waves recede from the sand
as several grains go with it
Thousands really, but who notices
from the millions left behind
Like my thoughts of you, like the love
that follows you
Maybe it will keep you safe.
I could never wish anything
but the best for you.
I search amongst the shells
along the coastline
that the ocean sacrifices.
like the visions I'm left with, of you.
Those fluid pictures
that will rerun in my thoughts.
The kind not framed
just to be put away in a drawer
or a box, to be someday sighed over
and then thrown away
Once I can unlock my eyes
and my grip, so I can let go.
Along the shelves of my life
I will replace every picture of you
with a shell from the ocean
A similar type of token
from when a life was vibrant.
Like when you had shown up
feeling washed up
And yet all I saw
was something beautiful
Something somehow, shiny
from all her turbulence.
How sometimes life can do that
How some things become smoother
from being sanded over and over.
I will have visitors
and they'll comment
on the tropical theme of my decor
I won't tell them any different
that the only thing in common
was really just the sun
How it lit your face
and then how it called you away.
Every thought of you has a shell
although you're long gone
I return to the beach on occasion
to see what it might bring me.
I save the closest one to perfect
that I can find that day
and toss all others far
back into the sea.
Perhaps, one day they will return
better than ever
Perhaps fortune will bring
the right one to me
and I will grasp it tightly
and take it home.
Never again though, will it be you
Honestly, I know.
I understood the "How come"
Yet I wasn't ready for the what now.
So I spend my evenings building more shelves
Because the mornings are for searching the shore
for what the ocean offers me
-All these beautiful shells, not good enough
But I will pick one, to justify my day
spent glimpsing up at the horizon
for that glimmer
of your return.
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