Chemical imbalance

There's a cigar burn on my heart,
Scars that never heal just tear apart,
This black dog weighs heavy on my shoulders,
Days keep repeating only I'm getting older,
I miss getting knees grazed
While playing in the rain,
Youthful tears to hide away the pain,
Thinking back it was silly to sulk over some of the stupid crazes,
Now I'm losing my mind in bad places ,
The worst part is I can feel it all slip away,
Pieces of my soul breaking off  like a cigarette in an ashtray,
Struggling to wake up in the morning
Not tired but knowing about
The loneliness
The debt
The trouble
The sweat
The coping
The cuts on my wrists
Just to know I'm still here
This limbo I'm living in
If you can call this living


Because I don't
And
I don't want to see you anymore ….

The Real Grifta