deepundergroundpoetry.com
3-5-3
On this night
rolling storms cast out thieves
of ill repute
༻
Darkness skulks in
blanketing all that's held dear
highlighting truth's dominion
༻
Warm nostalgic memories
course through my mind's eye
remembering past love
༻
Stay with me
this night and all following
whispered pleas bemoan
༻
Happiness is fickle
easily turning on a dime
lost in obscurity
༻
Permeate this soul
i quietly beg salvation's sustenance:
restore me, whole
༻
Within a blink
it all was completely rewritten
without any permission
༻
Ghost arms tighten
'round brittle hollowed out bones
supporting every breath
༻
Stars caress— beckoning
lifetimes reflect in glittery sooth
from each twinkle
༻
To be strong
an understanding weakness isn't weak
it's strengthening character
༻
When it's good
the sheer breadth of it
is purely incalculable
༻
Time eventually reveals
the reality of buried gospel
.
.
.
nothing stays secret
~-~
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/groups/word-play/discussion/364/
Published 2nd Sep 2022
Author's Note
This is the accumulated effort of most of my poems from just the 3-5-3 category of the Word Play group. I have randomly been posting them throughout the almost two years+ I've been a member there. I scrolled through them the other day and decided to copy most of them to arrrange into one whole poem, if possible. What can you say in eleven words, three lines, in a
3-5-3 word count? Well, this is what that one exercise has me saying after all the time. It's a little disjointed because these are separate poems posted at different times, but I think it makes a kind of cool amalgamation. Thanks to Grace, who initially invited me to join the group which ultimately ended up showing me that there is a place on DUP to stretch your creative wings, unencumbered.
3-5-3 word count? Well, this is what that one exercise has me saying after all the time. It's a little disjointed because these are separate poems posted at different times, but I think it makes a kind of cool amalgamation. Thanks to Grace, who initially invited me to join the group which ultimately ended up showing me that there is a place on DUP to stretch your creative wings, unencumbered.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 39
reading list entries 17
comments 49
reads 843
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
2nd Sep 2022 1:07am
Hey there, fellow Word Group player!
Much thanks, CF
I know you totally get it, which makes that "Wow" that much sweeter!
I'm so glad that you stopped by and found a bit of enjoyment, it's nice to see you 🦋
Hope you've been well,
🌹 💙
B
Much thanks, CF
I know you totally get it, which makes that "Wow" that much sweeter!
I'm so glad that you stopped by and found a bit of enjoyment, it's nice to see you 🦋
Hope you've been well,
🌹 💙
B
2nd Sep 2022 1:42am
2nd Sep 2022 2:04am
2nd Sep 2022 2:09am
Dear BV,
Absolutely loved it. Truth be told when I saw 3-5-3 I was thinking haiku, which doesn’t make sense as that’s 5-7-5 🙄 at any rate…I finally got 3 words 5 words…great fun and cool exercise for writing.
Also, I think collecting them and putting it together as a whole was surprisingly cohesive. I thought it blended wonderfully. Fabulous ending. Almost daring one and all to come clean and out their truths before someone else outs it for them. Lovely collection! H🌷
Absolutely loved it. Truth be told when I saw 3-5-3 I was thinking haiku, which doesn’t make sense as that’s 5-7-5 🙄 at any rate…I finally got 3 words 5 words…great fun and cool exercise for writing.
Also, I think collecting them and putting it together as a whole was surprisingly cohesive. I thought it blended wonderfully. Fabulous ending. Almost daring one and all to come clean and out their truths before someone else outs it for them. Lovely collection! H🌷
Hey there, lovely lady
I figured it would be a bit convoluted and hard to initially explain (I have since put the link for the word play group at the bottom of the poem for people to click on so they can get it better idea) but I'm glad you got the word play of 3-5-3 in the end! It wasn't an intentional idea, I was there a few days ago posting a new little poem and I just decided to scroll through to see how far back my posts went; getting a better idea of just how long I'd been adding poems. In doing so, I came across a few that I enjoyed and thought "What the hell!" maybe putting them together might create something...and here we are! I'm glad you found it did blend together!! Whew!👍🏻 I thought there were little hiccups here and there but overall I kind of like the feel too! That end is my favorite as well.
I knew that would be the last one and purposely built everything else around it! Your eye is keen, my friend 👀 .. lol...
Thank you so much for supporting me here. I have had a harsh week Irl(in real life) and around here a bit, so your encouragement is like a much needed big hug. I really can't thank you enough.
Much love and appreciation, Honoria
🌹 💙
B
I figured it would be a bit convoluted and hard to initially explain (I have since put the link for the word play group at the bottom of the poem for people to click on so they can get it better idea) but I'm glad you got the word play of 3-5-3 in the end! It wasn't an intentional idea, I was there a few days ago posting a new little poem and I just decided to scroll through to see how far back my posts went; getting a better idea of just how long I'd been adding poems. In doing so, I came across a few that I enjoyed and thought "What the hell!" maybe putting them together might create something...and here we are! I'm glad you found it did blend together!! Whew!👍🏻 I thought there were little hiccups here and there but overall I kind of like the feel too! That end is my favorite as well.
I knew that would be the last one and purposely built everything else around it! Your eye is keen, my friend 👀 .. lol...
Thank you so much for supporting me here. I have had a harsh week Irl(in real life) and around here a bit, so your encouragement is like a much needed big hug. I really can't thank you enough.
Much love and appreciation, Honoria
🌹 💙
B
2nd Sep 2022 2:10am
Very interesting this 3-5-3.
Enjoyed the the balance of it all.
I’m not sure what was more impressive
the pieces that made the whole or the pieces themselves. All nicely woven together.
Keith
Enjoyed the the balance of it all.
I’m not sure what was more impressive
the pieces that made the whole or the pieces themselves. All nicely woven together.
Keith
Hi there, Keith :)
I'm glad you found some enjoyment reading and experiencing this experimental 'mosaic' of mine.
It was a lark, yet very interesting to go back and read some writing I had forgotten about.
It's reaffirming to know that it came across to you as you kindly described.
Thank so much for taking the time to visit and for leaving me your thoughts, it's such a valuable experience of my own to get that opportunity.
Much love and warm regards,
🌹 💙
B
I'm glad you found some enjoyment reading and experiencing this experimental 'mosaic' of mine.
It was a lark, yet very interesting to go back and read some writing I had forgotten about.
It's reaffirming to know that it came across to you as you kindly described.
Thank so much for taking the time to visit and for leaving me your thoughts, it's such a valuable experience of my own to get that opportunity.
Much love and warm regards,
🌹 💙
B
Anonymous
- Edited 6th Dec 2022 00:45am
2nd Sep 2022 2:52am
<< post removed >>
hahaha... Doh!! Beaten to the punch!!... 😉
I didn't just willy-nilly make up a new poetic form... I am not that smart, lmao.... 😂 😂... It's a wordplay exercise from that particular Word Play group. One of many, that are meant to help spur and stimulate creativity or just to have simple fun.
It's nice to know you found some pleasure, reading... that's the hope!!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me for being here, Tim .... you know how appreciative I am... yet I stress it gain... ;)
🌹 💙
B
I didn't just willy-nilly make up a new poetic form... I am not that smart, lmao.... 😂 😂... It's a wordplay exercise from that particular Word Play group. One of many, that are meant to help spur and stimulate creativity or just to have simple fun.
It's nice to know you found some pleasure, reading... that's the hope!!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me for being here, Tim .... you know how appreciative I am... yet I stress it gain... ;)
🌹 💙
B
2nd Sep 2022 4:41am
Bluevelvet,
This 3-5-3 is truly touching and with understand my darkness. Elevate your eyes within the ways to ah spark this. Open up about yourself by paying attention to this write in brim focus. Even if, within a form of hocus pocus magic trick that will last and appear in not vague. Match with your ah sage and play within it with thy rave and rage. Then ah hold it up to thy own and u will see within this darkness u are not alone. Simply MARVELOUS! 👍🌷🍑👄🌷🍑💋🍑👅🛳️🎶🤍🤎🌈👁️🍺🍻🥂🍹🤜🤛🧅🥃
This 3-5-3 is truly touching and with understand my darkness. Elevate your eyes within the ways to ah spark this. Open up about yourself by paying attention to this write in brim focus. Even if, within a form of hocus pocus magic trick that will last and appear in not vague. Match with your ah sage and play within it with thy rave and rage. Then ah hold it up to thy own and u will see within this darkness u are not alone. Simply MARVELOUS! 👍🌷🍑👄🌷🍑💋🍑👅🛳️🎶🤍🤎🌈👁️🍺🍻🥂🍹🤜🤛🧅🥃
2nd Sep 2022 3:59pm
My buddy Birchel!!
What's going on, my man!!!??!!
You take this poem to the Stratosphere and back, with your amazing and potent comments! I'm humbled and truly honored that you are impacted, reading like you are. It's something to be proud of and I'm so glad you reminded me of that, B! I can't think of anything better to be called than MARVELOUS!! Damn cool! 😎
Thank you on top of thank you on top of thank you
You're a magical force of mysterious energy and its a great joy to have you visit 🦋
Love, appreciation and peaceful energies sent your way ✨ 💫 ✨
-`ღ´-
What's going on, my man!!!??!!
You take this poem to the Stratosphere and back, with your amazing and potent comments! I'm humbled and truly honored that you are impacted, reading like you are. It's something to be proud of and I'm so glad you reminded me of that, B! I can't think of anything better to be called than MARVELOUS!! Damn cool! 😎
Thank you on top of thank you on top of thank you
You're a magical force of mysterious energy and its a great joy to have you visit 🦋
Love, appreciation and peaceful energies sent your way ✨ 💫 ✨
-`ღ´-
2nd Sep 2022 11:34pm
Thank u and u are welcome. It is always an honor and a pleasure to enjoy thy works u ah pen. 🤜🤛🌈🌷🍑🍹🥂👅👄🍑🌷🥦🥬🌽🎶🛳️
I will stay comfort you and protect you all night long. Your happiness and love is what matters to me. Keep on writing you strong beautiful smart sexy woman.
You're a sweet (and very naughty!) soul my dear Francisco. Thank you for such beautiful sentiments. I am lucky to have you here.
—🌹
—🌹
3rd Sep 2022 1:00am
Anonymous
2nd Sep 2022 5:08am
This is like a jigsaw puzzle of magnificence, your words written exude power, charm and sensuality.
2nd Sep 2022 5:18am
It must be because those words and being reflected off of present company, as she devours her reading.... ;)
Thank you for such wonderful sentiments
It's an amazing feeling to be considered, like you do me.
🌹💙
B
Thank you for such wonderful sentiments
It's an amazing feeling to be considered, like you do me.
🌹💙
B
2nd Sep 2022 7:18am
I feel it strangely blends well. Kind of reads like your telling me a ghost story or something haha.
Wonderful ink friend 😁
Wonderful ink friend 😁
2nd Sep 2022 3:08pm
Yes!
Perhaps it's my own ghosts of seasons past!?!?
That's a bit intuitive and such a wonderful comment, DC
Your visits always rock!
Thanks for being here my friend
🌹B
Perhaps it's my own ghosts of seasons past!?!?
That's a bit intuitive and such a wonderful comment, DC
Your visits always rock!
Thanks for being here my friend
🌹B
2nd Sep 2022 1:33pm
A compilation of emotional metaphors for creating various angles of vulnerable relating....
Revealing....
Revealing....
2nd Sep 2022 1:38pm
I like to think it's a nice microcosm into my mindset throughout that time, yes. Sort of an emotional blueprint/map... to travel to.
Thanks for stopping by, RT
Missed you
🌹-🗺️
x
Thanks for stopping by, RT
Missed you
🌹-🗺️
x
Hoi hoi @bluevelvete (Chčre ms B.,)
I’m not sure I understand what the rules are, but tomorrow I’ll read em again and who no’s…….)
You know I’ll always read what you dish out to us! Maybe I’m too Calvinistic to understand the strays.
Thank you anyway! Patience is the way to learn…. I guess.
Kind regards, Gus
I’m not sure I understand what the rules are, but tomorrow I’ll read em again and who no’s…….)
You know I’ll always read what you dish out to us! Maybe I’m too Calvinistic to understand the strays.
Thank you anyway! Patience is the way to learn…. I guess.
Kind regards, Gus
3rd Sep 2022 6:13am
Hoi hoi
It's lovely to see you, Gus ;)
The link for the the group is attached to the bottom of the poem, it might help clarify!
No worries, I was prepared to come across questions, you're correct... How else does one learn?!?
There's a group page here on DUP called "Word Play" once you visit the page you click on 'join group' and then you'll have a variety of different writing exercises that you're able to participate in. It was created to help inspire creativity, practice at honing your poetry skills or just as a place for fun.
One of the exercises within the group is to write a three line poem that includes 11 words in the configuration of
3 words
5 words
3 words
Hence the 3-5-3 title.
This poem came to be... because I took most of those little poems I wrote within the 2+ years I visited the group and turned them into one cohesive (I hope!) poem....
I hope that makes sense.!
Glad you stopped by, my friend.
You bring with you such wonderful energy that always makes me smile.
🌹💙
B
It's lovely to see you, Gus ;)
The link for the the group is attached to the bottom of the poem, it might help clarify!
No worries, I was prepared to come across questions, you're correct... How else does one learn?!?
There's a group page here on DUP called "Word Play" once you visit the page you click on 'join group' and then you'll have a variety of different writing exercises that you're able to participate in. It was created to help inspire creativity, practice at honing your poetry skills or just as a place for fun.
One of the exercises within the group is to write a three line poem that includes 11 words in the configuration of
3 words
5 words
3 words
Hence the 3-5-3 title.
This poem came to be... because I took most of those little poems I wrote within the 2+ years I visited the group and turned them into one cohesive (I hope!) poem....
I hope that makes sense.!
Glad you stopped by, my friend.
You bring with you such wonderful energy that always makes me smile.
🌹💙
B
2nd Sep 2022 5:55pm
You leave me feeling such warmth and joy.
Thank you for being here, James. I can't tell you how much I look forward to your thoughts without sounding corny, just know that I do. It means a lot to me that you've found a bit of beauty here.
{Absolutely LOVED your most recent "Forgive My Thorns"... it still staying with me...}
Thank you.
🌹 💙
B
Thank you for being here, James. I can't tell you how much I look forward to your thoughts without sounding corny, just know that I do. It means a lot to me that you've found a bit of beauty here.
{Absolutely LOVED your most recent "Forgive My Thorns"... it still staying with me...}
Thank you.
🌹 💙
B
3rd Sep 2022 1:40am
Exquisite !
"Time eventually reveals ... the reality of buried gospel... nothing stays secret"
... 😍👍
"Time eventually reveals ... the reality of buried gospel... nothing stays secret"
... 😍👍
Hey there, Marks ;)
Yesss!! It's pointless to avoid, methinks. Time eventually becomes the great equalize in the end....revealing all hidden truths...
Your lovely comment has me all smiles. Thank you so much for that awesome "Exquisite!"... you are very kind.
Even though I think you already know, I'll heartily reiterate that I adore seeing you and always enjoy your pov.... It's enlightening and motivational.
It's a pleasure ✨
Much love and appreciation,
🌹 💙
B
Yesss!! It's pointless to avoid, methinks. Time eventually becomes the great equalize in the end....revealing all hidden truths...
Your lovely comment has me all smiles. Thank you so much for that awesome "Exquisite!"... you are very kind.
Even though I think you already know, I'll heartily reiterate that I adore seeing you and always enjoy your pov.... It's enlightening and motivational.
It's a pleasure ✨
Much love and appreciation,
🌹 💙
B
5th Sep 2022 1:16am
3rd Sep 2022 1:59am
This is beautiful, Blue. You’ve woven words into little tapestries that speak to the quiet, hidden parts of ourselves. Thank you for sharing.
Ohhh Luna... You've made my weekend!
Thank you for seeing my words and me like you have, it's truly affirming and beyond meaningful to me. I am elated.
Have a wonderful holiday weekend,
{Still your biggest fan-girl}
🌹💙
B
Thank you for seeing my words and me like you have, it's truly affirming and beyond meaningful to me. I am elated.
Have a wonderful holiday weekend,
{Still your biggest fan-girl}
🌹💙
B
3rd Sep 2022 11:32pm
Hey B:)
I so enjoy reading your poetry. I always feel that I learned something new when finished.
Either a new word or a dozen:) and structure. Thank you so much for posting this
work of awesomeness!! I've read it like 5 times!!!
I so enjoy reading your poetry. I always feel that I learned something new when finished.
Either a new word or a dozen:) and structure. Thank you so much for posting this
work of awesomeness!! I've read it like 5 times!!!
Ohh my, dear lady... oh my!!
There's something about 5's today!
I mean, wow....🤯 I can't really thank you enough, Adel. These are such kind, generous and truly complimentary sentiments. I'm beyond humbled.
Please know that accepting compliments is not my wheelhouse, whatsoever. I just wanted you to know that, in case I come across as awkward which fingers crossed doesn't read as insincere, which is never, ever me.
You are a cool breeze on a stifling day, that within our heat index feels like it's 103° 😰
My heart soars knowing that you've picked up things here and there from my ink. Another revelation that's day making info! I'm glad you could see the worth in this little piece and that it spoke to you like I had hoped to achieve...
It's always a pleasure to see you 🦋
Your thoughts and perceptions are wonderfully inspiring...
Much love and gratitude,
🌹 💙
B
There's something about 5's today!
I mean, wow....🤯 I can't really thank you enough, Adel. These are such kind, generous and truly complimentary sentiments. I'm beyond humbled.
Please know that accepting compliments is not my wheelhouse, whatsoever. I just wanted you to know that, in case I come across as awkward which fingers crossed doesn't read as insincere, which is never, ever me.
You are a cool breeze on a stifling day, that within our heat index feels like it's 103° 😰
My heart soars knowing that you've picked up things here and there from my ink. Another revelation that's day making info! I'm glad you could see the worth in this little piece and that it spoke to you like I had hoped to achieve...
It's always a pleasure to see you 🦋
Your thoughts and perceptions are wonderfully inspiring...
Much love and gratitude,
🌹 💙
B
4th Sep 2022 3:44am
This necklace of poem pearls is what short form is all about. Resonant, ambient, and Zen mysticism at its finest. At times it read like an ancient ship at sea navigating the ocean of wisdom with the rigging creaking in the wind. The read felt like a journey into your soul whose wisdom sparkles through your exquisitely chosen words. It tells the story of your heart with revelations because as you close nothing can be kept secret. This is all that poetry can be done through your graceful perfection.
from my heart to yours,
John
from my heart to yours,
John
John,
I felt your heart, so eloquent and warm. Each beat and comment, are your arms around me with tender strokes of approval and considerate critique. I'm so enchanted by the "necklace of poem pearls." That's a truly striking image which stuck with me immediately. How very lovely, indeed.
My joy at your summations leaves me invigorated and instilled with pride, which has helped to reset my mindset.... a much needed and very good thing!
Thank you so much, my darling
I was so lost... until you opened my eyes to found.
🌹 💙
B
I felt your heart, so eloquent and warm. Each beat and comment, are your arms around me with tender strokes of approval and considerate critique. I'm so enchanted by the "necklace of poem pearls." That's a truly striking image which stuck with me immediately. How very lovely, indeed.
My joy at your summations leaves me invigorated and instilled with pride, which has helped to reset my mindset.... a much needed and very good thing!
Thank you so much, my darling
I was so lost... until you opened my eyes to found.
🌹 💙
B
4th Sep 2022 7:21pm
You showed me the way to be found once more with your deeply resonant poetry. Indeed you brought back the most beautiful music I have ever heard with the ambiance of your verse. The Windham Hill melody with ship sounds in the background is still the most meditative music that puts me in a deep reverie just like your poem did. I love all the facets of this poem. You took me there and I am better for the journey.
From my soul to yours,
John
From my soul to yours,
John
4th Sep 2022 11:06pm
Just to explain when you mentioned critique it occurred to me that my phrase creaking ship rigging could be construed as critique. Actually, it referred to my favorite meditation music. Sorry, I am nothing if not tangential. LOL Love you, honey.
XoXoXo
John
XoXoXo
John
4th Sep 2022 11:43pm
No, I meant it it as a very good thing, indeed.... I understood exactly what you were meaning!!
🌹 💙 💙 💙
🌹 💙 💙 💙
4th Sep 2022 11:47pm
You understand me better than anyone else here my friend. For that, I am forever grateful. Love to give you the good things of life. You certainly have given me the ultimate literary and emotional boost here my darling friend.
Love to you always,
Johin
Love to you always,
Johin
4th Sep 2022 5:08pm
You have FIVE!?!?.....😲
(*me, dancing* 🎶)
Omg, that's one of the best things I've heard about my ink, in a very long time. I'm seriously blushing...
Just the idea that I have 'one' top anything to you, is utterly elating but to think that there's a top five, blows my mind... and leaves me humbly grateful, Lj.
You moved me. Period.
I'm terrifically glad you enjoyed reading this one like you did.. I didn't think it was going to resonate, so your input and feedback has renewed some much needed faith in myself. There are times here that can be cruel and hurtful for no other reason than I'm here writing, which others might have issue with for one fucked up reason or another (I know you're familiar) so when that 'picking on' occurs it can leave you questioning, so much .... That's what I genuinely meant by you helping to restore my own faith/self confidence, when it was so needed (serendipity) .... it is indeed, deeply appreciated
An enormous heartfelt thanks, dear lady
🌹💙
B
(*me, dancing* 🎶)
Omg, that's one of the best things I've heard about my ink, in a very long time. I'm seriously blushing...
Just the idea that I have 'one' top anything to you, is utterly elating but to think that there's a top five, blows my mind... and leaves me humbly grateful, Lj.
You moved me. Period.
I'm terrifically glad you enjoyed reading this one like you did.. I didn't think it was going to resonate, so your input and feedback has renewed some much needed faith in myself. There are times here that can be cruel and hurtful for no other reason than I'm here writing, which others might have issue with for one fucked up reason or another (I know you're familiar) so when that 'picking on' occurs it can leave you questioning, so much .... That's what I genuinely meant by you helping to restore my own faith/self confidence, when it was so needed (serendipity) .... it is indeed, deeply appreciated
An enormous heartfelt thanks, dear lady
🌹💙
B
I totally get the ridiculousness this website can hold. You are an amazing wordsmith through and through. Take care lady, keep your head up and let the world see your beautiful face and read your amazing work.
LJ
LJ
4th Sep 2022 9:28pm
4th Sep 2022 10:53pm
Like this the most:
"Darkness skulks in
blanketing all that's held dear
highlighting truth's dominion "
Plus the first stanza really set a mood and image.
"Darkness skulks in
blanketing all that's held dear
highlighting truth's dominion "
Plus the first stanza really set a mood and image.
4th Sep 2022 10:57pm
Thanks for the lovely feedback, L. I'm delighted you found a little bit of something to enjoy and really appreciate you stopping in to say so.
Hope all is going well,
🌹 💙
B
Hope all is going well,
🌹 💙
B
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Oct 2023 4:45pm
7th Sep 2022 1:35pm
<< post removed >>
7th Sep 2022 4:08pm
Thanks for the lovely sentiments and the generous list add. I'm truly grateful you stopped by and enjoyed this little experiment of mine.
Much love and appreciation,
🌹 💙
B
Much love and appreciation,
🌹 💙
B
19th Sep 2022 11:11pm
21st Sep 2022 4:48pm
Thanks for taking the time to leave your thoughts with me, Walter.
Glad you enjoyed!
🌹 💙
Glad you enjoyed!
🌹 💙
