I Couldn’t Breathe

 
He threw me through the air
across the room into a wall
to prevent me from leaving,
But, he never hit me…      
     
He ripped my purse and keys      
out of my hands to hinder me      
from fleeing his hostility,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He snatched or broke the phone      
whenever I tried to call
the cops when he was screaming,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He read my private journal      
to use as psychological      
ammunition against me,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He beat the furniture I was on      
inches from me while I was
crying and pleading for him to stop,    
But, he never hit me…      
     
He put me in martial-arts holds      
and broke one of my toes      
in order to ‘subdue’ me,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He forced me to go into debt      
to buy him drugs and guitars      
because he couldn’t hold a job,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He convinced me we needed
to move across the country      
isolating me from my family,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He slammed open doors      
hounding me around the house      
and never allowed privacy,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He pounced on me and      
grabbed me by the flesh      
of my neck and shook me,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He told me I deserved to be      
beaten with a metal chair      
for simply stating my boundaries,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He raised his hand      
to threaten getting slapped      
and told me to shut up or else,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He called me a bitch      
a cunt a stupid whore      
fake crazy and disrespectful,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He punched holes in the walls      
and threw and broke things      
whenever he was angry,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He apologized and promised      
he would change his ways      
then he would blame it all on me,      
But, he never hit me…      
     
He had everyone convinced      
that he was a saint an angel      
with his puppy dog eyes,      
And he did not ever hit me…      
     
And so he made me feel      
like ending my own life      
was the only way out of his nightmare,      
But, at least he never hit me…      
     
     
——  
     
     
He trapped me and broke my spirit  
He trained me and like a pet, I obeyed  
But in the end I escaped with help  
From poets in the Deep Underground  
   
 
🙏