cracked

 
touching shiny feelings
who reveal themselves inside the pain
smiling with a tight grip on sanity

"it's going to be okay
hold on woman I whisper
keep it together
don't show where it hurts"

lingers my anger
simmering just under the surface
I blow up then feel bad
there's no where safe to release it
my rage cuts the innocent

so I keep it in
until it cripples me and I can't say anything
I use my writing to express what I can't in my day to day
I'm a force to deal with
with an intensity that shines

I dial it down
just to be with the normal people
my way of shining can be real ugly
darkness hunts my steps
it corrupts my emotions turning them mean

I sigh within knowing I'm gentle

I think...

am I so cruel?

as to take my words and use them as weapons
psychologically pick at a person's weaknesses
until they shiver in the cold
then take the kill shot

is that me?

well if it was it isn't true today