Cheating Death

 
Phil heard a rumor that the Grim Reaper was looking for him  
So he decided to go out and hide over at his local gym  
But as he walked the street Phil couldn’t believe his eyes  
Death draped in all black was coming to claim its prize  
 
So Phil made a run for it and tried lose him at the grocery store  
But Death being swift almost caught up to him at the doors  
Phil hid amidst the isles with a nervous smile fearing for his life  
Almost peeing his pants when he could see the Reaper’s scythe  
 
Phil booked it and ran as fast as he could over to the mall  
While Death calmly chased him taking a sip of alcohol  
Phil tried to hide in the crowd but he kind of stood out  
Because of his blond hair Death always looked out  
 
He thought of a place where the most loud people are  
So Phil went and tried to blend in with the drunks at a bar  
Then an idea came to him as he took a sip of Bacardi  
“I should get a costume a hide at a Halloween party”  
 
But Death was relentless and kept following Phil  
Fearing for his life it gave him anxiety and chills  
And once at the party he hid in the bathroom  
As Death mingled around Phil knew it was doom  
 
So Phil decided to shave his head and mustache  
And he did it so quickly it felt like a flash  
Rejoining the party some people felt confounded  
But most of all Death was finally left astounded  
 
Death looked at every in costume unable to find Phil  
His GPS tracker showed that he was there still  
“I have a quota to meet” Death thought for a second  
“I can’t believe I lost this guy” he began to reckon  
 
All the while bald Phil danced with sigh of relief  
He had cheated death like a time thief  
And as he drank from the punch bowl Death finally said:  
“I lost him so fuck it,  I’ll just take baldy here instead”