deepundergroundpoetry.com
Evening Darkness
Whereas the evening filters through
To bring the darkness seeping down.
The daylight's leave now overdue
High above a slumbering town.
To bring the darkness seeping down
As the north wind starts its blowing;
High above the slumbering town
Night time shadows start their showing.
As the north wind starts its blowing
Round and around deserted ways.
Night time shadows start their showing
There under, eerie phantoms gaze.
Round and around deserted ways
Within the blackest, darkest night
There under, eerie phantoms gaze
Misleading by subdued moonlight.
Within the blackest, darkest night
The daylight's leave now overdue;
Misleading by subdued moonlight
Whereas the evening filters through.
To bring the darkness seeping down.
The daylight's leave now overdue
High above a slumbering town.
To bring the darkness seeping down
As the north wind starts its blowing;
High above the slumbering town
Night time shadows start their showing.
As the north wind starts its blowing
Round and around deserted ways.
Night time shadows start their showing
There under, eerie phantoms gaze.
Round and around deserted ways
Within the blackest, darkest night
There under, eerie phantoms gaze
Misleading by subdued moonlight.
Within the blackest, darkest night
The daylight's leave now overdue;
Misleading by subdued moonlight
Whereas the evening filters through.
Published 1st Sep 2021
Author's Note
A Modern Western Pantoum
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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comments 4
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The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Sep 2021 11:38am
2nd Sep 2021 8:17pm
Thank you c_f. A pantoum takes some thinking about but with care you can get there.
Kind regards, Alan
Kind regards, Alan
8th Sep 2021 8:00pm
You managed this so cleverly! I wouldn't know where to start, so am envious. Well done.
9th Sep 2021 8:15am
Hi Ellie. Of course, I am so pleased that you have read and taken time to comment on 'Evening Darkness'. However I don't agree with you when you tell me that you wouldn't know where to start. That is simple Ellie - you start at the beginning (and the end!). As T.S. Eliot wrote 'To make an end is to make a beginning, the end is where we start from'. The closing line of a pantoum should be the opening line refrained, therefore, you must think ahead. You also state that you are envious. Well, there was a time when I didn't know where to start with a pantoum but the idea is to keep at it and, with practice, you will get there. I am sure you will accomplish a fine piece.
Kind regards, Alan
Kind regards, Alan
