Hey

Hey ... It's me.  
I just wanted to say that I miss you. I got to thinking yesterday and came across some pictures of us. I wanted to call but obviously I couldn't so I'm writing this letter instead.  
I'm still full of questions and I'm not really sure if I'll have enough time to ask them.  
 
But, umm ... Do you ever wonder about me, the way I wonder about you?  
I wonder if you're all right cuz the last time we spoke you didn't seem all right.  
But that's not my place anymore so I can't ask.  
Do you ever think about what happened and wonder where we would be if it didn't?  
I do but that probably makes me sound crazy because I should just let you go, right? I should just drop everything and pretend I didn't give birth to or that you are my daughter. The only thing iI ever wanted was to love you, protect you, and be your mom.  
I know I messed up but I can't pretend you're not my child.  
 
I just want to know, did you ever love me?  
I thought we were a team but you decided you didn't need me and needed a reason to hate me.  
That's what it was right?  
Because I mean literally nothing to you and if that isn't true, then show me it isn't true.  
Because family doesn't just crash and burn after somebody's mistake.  
 
I find myself calling you a memory and I never wanted that because I wanted us to be a family. I wanted to watch you grow up and you watch me grow old. I wanted us to love each other unconditionally and forever.  
But you just didn't want that.  
 
I really don't know what else to say,  but you can call me if you ever want. You know the number.