Submissions by msbeav (Brenda)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
SELF POEM
Published
Today 1:03am
Today 1:03am
Disappear
While waking up
A sudden thought came across my mind
Nobody knew what I was thinking about
It was a thought anyone would have had at least once
If I disappeared
If I were to disappear
As if I were never here
I wish I could not be here
Today I'm living as hard as I was yesterday
If I go on living as hard as I was yesterday
I might find a reason not to disappear
While the world was asleep
I stared out the window
And began thinking
I thought to myself
If I disappeared
If I were to disappear
...
A sudden thought came across my mind
Nobody knew what I was thinking about
It was a thought anyone would have had at least once
If I disappeared
If I were to disappear
As if I were never here
I wish I could not be here
Today I'm living as hard as I was yesterday
If I go on living as hard as I was yesterday
I might find a reason not to disappear
While the world was asleep
I stared out the window
And began thinking
I thought to myself
If I disappeared
If I were to disappear
...
#sadness
#anxiety
#grief
#loneliness
#emptiness
7 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
25th May 2023 4:59pm
25th May 2023 4:59pm
Give Her Peace
Watching her fall apart
I cry because I need her back
Her body shakes as the cancer attacks
It's hard to see her go through this
She's my mom, the one I adore
Watching her slowly deteriorate
My tears fall to the floor
Screaming out to GOD,
GIVE HER PEACE
Please make her suffering go away
I can't stop this freight train
Oh what I'd give to stop her pain
My heart is breaking
I'll never be the same
I cry because I need her back
Her body shakes as the cancer attacks
It's hard to see her go through this
She's my mom, the one I adore
Watching her slowly deteriorate
My tears fall to the floor
Screaming out to GOD,
GIVE HER PEACE
Please make her suffering go away
I can't stop this freight train
Oh what I'd give to stop her pain
My heart is breaking
I'll never be the same
#sadness
#mother
#death #aging
#death #aging
35 reads
4 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
7th Apr 2023 5:19pm
7th Apr 2023 5:19pm
Blowout
It's like I've been trying to go somewhere my whole life.
But I've hit ... Every ... single ... Red light along the way.
My brakes are going on 20000 miles to early and I burn through way too much gas to justify the wear and tear on my motor. I've been spinning my wheels and getting nowhere for as long as I can remember. I'm running on fumes.
My tires are treadbare. My tires are only a blowout away from swerving headfirst into on coming traffic.
My dreams are in the passenger seat with a broken buckle, a drunken smile, and an empty bottle of bourbon that I...
But I've hit ... Every ... single ... Red light along the way.
My brakes are going on 20000 miles to early and I burn through way too much gas to justify the wear and tear on my motor. I've been spinning my wheels and getting nowhere for as long as I can remember. I'm running on fumes.
My tires are treadbare. My tires are only a blowout away from swerving headfirst into on coming traffic.
My dreams are in the passenger seat with a broken buckle, a drunken smile, and an empty bottle of bourbon that I...
#sadness
#anxiety
#regret
#frustration
#emptiness
138 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Apr 2023 6:01pm
2nd Apr 2023 6:01pm
I Knew
I think I knew it was getting bad again when a smile became more difficult to produce than a frown, and the room didn't light up when I was around.
When tears came silently,
Not creating any sound.
And I think I knew it was getting bad again
When my own internal clock stopped ticking,
And itching for joy became my favorite pastime.
When a laugh from my friends cost much more than a dime,
And I put on a smile with a grinning mouth that wasn't even mine.
And I understood things were getting bad again when my bed became more than a resting...
When tears came silently,
Not creating any sound.
And I think I knew it was getting bad again
When my own internal clock stopped ticking,
And itching for joy became my favorite pastime.
When a laugh from my friends cost much more than a dime,
And I put on a smile with a grinning mouth that wasn't even mine.
And I understood things were getting bad again when my bed became more than a resting...
#sadness
#rejection
#dark
#despair
#emptiness
137 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
23rd Mar 2023 8:42pm
23rd Mar 2023 8:42pm
Tick Tock
The clock ticks
Each second goes by
Slower than the next
And you wonder
When the clock will stop
As if it is your own time bomb
Just waiting to detonate
When will be your turn
Tick Tock
Memories race in your mind
Looking back through time
And you think
What happened to the good times
Why do I only see the bad?
Tick Tock
What to do anymore
I don't know
Do I just sit here
And wait for the inevitable destruction?
Tick Tock
Each second goes by
Slower than the next
And you wonder
When the clock will stop
As if it is your own time bomb
Just waiting to detonate
When will be your turn
Tick Tock
Memories race in your mind
Looking back through time
And you think
What happened to the good times
Why do I only see the bad?
Tick Tock
What to do anymore
I don't know
Do I just sit here
And wait for the inevitable destruction?
Tick Tock
#anxiety
#frustration
#disappointment
#emptiness
#boredom
99 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
22nd Mar 2023 7:45pm
22nd Mar 2023 7:45pm
My Daughter
She is my daughter ...
A young woman of iron and silk and unforgiving praise.
She is the measure of all I will never be,
She sees me and looks right through me..
She loves me with a barbed wire heart
Chaining me to relentless
Yearning of approval.
I would beat my head endlessly against a brick wall
To simply hear her say
" I love you "
" I'm proud of you "
Or that I'm good enough.
All measures of self-worth,
Are wrapped into my daughter.
The one who loves me enough ...
To tear me...
A young woman of iron and silk and unforgiving praise.
She is the measure of all I will never be,
She sees me and looks right through me..
She loves me with a barbed wire heart
Chaining me to relentless
Yearning of approval.
I would beat my head endlessly against a brick wall
To simply hear her say
" I love you "
" I'm proud of you "
Or that I'm good enough.
All measures of self-worth,
Are wrapped into my daughter.
The one who loves me enough ...
To tear me...
#heartbroken
#conflict
#betrayal
#IMissYou
#deception
66 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
20th Mar 2023 00:21am
20th Mar 2023 00:21am
You Could've Been Me
I could have been you ...
Take a look at the sky
Heaven seems so far away
I've stood under the rain
Felt it seep into my brain
I've shut my eyes
Crawled into the mud
I'm afraid of growing old
And shiver when I'm cold
I could have been you
You could have been me
One small change that shapes our destiny
We bleed the same way
If you need proof
Cut me and you will see
Take a walk inside my shoes
A path I did not choose
Change is turning into fear
Fear is melting into hate
Touch what I feel
And know...
Take a look at the sky
Heaven seems so far away
I've stood under the rain
Felt it seep into my brain
I've shut my eyes
Crawled into the mud
I'm afraid of growing old
And shiver when I'm cold
I could have been you
You could have been me
One small change that shapes our destiny
We bleed the same way
If you need proof
Cut me and you will see
Take a walk inside my shoes
A path I did not choose
Change is turning into fear
Fear is melting into hate
Touch what I feel
And know...
#hate
#rejection
#greed
#denial
#fear
89 reads
0 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
15th Mar 2023 3:19am
15th Mar 2023 3:19am
Best Life
I don't care if you live your 'best" life. I hope you live your freest life. You're most unburdened life. Your lightest life. I hope your life is a patchwork of lessons and trials and mistakes and growth. I hope you understand that rejection, failure , disappointment means you care, you're trying, You're out there in life, you're alive to do it.
I hope your life feels beautiful to you. More than it looks beautiful to everyone else. I hope you're free. And that you keep freeing yourself, from who you thought you should be, from who society told you to be.
I hope you know when you're...
I hope your life feels beautiful to you. More than it looks beautiful to everyone else. I hope you're free. And that you keep freeing yourself, from who you thought you should be, from who society told you to be.
I hope you know when you're...
#hope
#courage
#emotions
84 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
11th Mar 2023 8:41pm
11th Mar 2023 8:41pm
Brenda's Land
Getting lost within my mind,
Not a healthy place to be.
So many dark and
Twisted thoughts,
That mock reality.
Most of them are memories,
I never will escape.
Some are fucking
landmines,
That want to see me break.
How much can I really
take,
Before I'm lost for good?
And when I'm gone,
Will anybody know that
I fought as hard as I
could?
Or will they think I just
gave up?
And does it really matter?
Some of us were never
meant for
Happily - Ever - After.
Not a healthy place to be.
So many dark and
Twisted thoughts,
That mock reality.
Most of them are memories,
I never will escape.
Some are fucking
landmines,
That want to see me break.
How much can I really
take,
Before I'm lost for good?
And when I'm gone,
Will anybody know that
I fought as hard as I
could?
Or will they think I just
gave up?
And does it really matter?
Some of us were never
meant for
Happily - Ever - After.
#sadness
#heartbroken
#emptiness
112 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
11th Mar 2023 8:29pm
11th Mar 2023 8:29pm
Writing You Into Poetry
When you broke my heart
I didn't know what to do,
So I wrote you into poetry.
Heart break stories cut so much deeper
When they're true.
The pain was worse than anything I'd ever known.
A wounded pen heading the way,
A gentle landing to soften the blow.
I wrote my words ever so precisely,
To extract the pain I felt in my heart.
Trying not to remember how badly it hurt,
the moment I fell apart.
Letting it fall on paper,
Learning to forgive myself,
without regret.
Finally at peace in my soul ...
Writing you into...
I didn't know what to do,
So I wrote you into poetry.
Heart break stories cut so much deeper
When they're true.
The pain was worse than anything I'd ever known.
A wounded pen heading the way,
A gentle landing to soften the blow.
I wrote my words ever so precisely,
To extract the pain I felt in my heart.
Trying not to remember how badly it hurt,
the moment I fell apart.
Letting it fall on paper,
Learning to forgive myself,
without regret.
Finally at peace in my soul ...
Writing you into...
#regret
#heartbroken
#emptiness #bittersweet
#emptiness #bittersweet
120 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
28th Jan 2023 4:19pm
28th Jan 2023 4:19pm
Growing to Love
I am an old soul, but young at heart. I'm wise, but my wisdom comes from pain, grief, and mistakes I have made.
I have, no doubt, broken the hearts to those who I could have shown more mercy, but I've wounded my own heart too and sometimes I've wondered if it was even beyond repair.
I'm constantly working on myself but I'm a far cry from perfect. I am soft yet strong.
I may not have many on my side but for those I do, I carry the things they told me in confidence, to my grave.
I still hide the parts of me that I'm growing to love, but I'm growing to love more parts of...
I have, no doubt, broken the hearts to those who I could have shown more mercy, but I've wounded my own heart too and sometimes I've wondered if it was even beyond repair.
I'm constantly working on myself but I'm a far cry from perfect. I am soft yet strong.
I may not have many on my side but for those I do, I carry the things they told me in confidence, to my grave.
I still hide the parts of me that I'm growing to love, but I'm growing to love more parts of...
#love
#strength
#courage #emotions
#courage #emotions
130 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
26th Dec 2022 5:01pm
26th Dec 2022 5:01pm
Because I Love my Daughter
Because I love my daughter ...
I owe her healing.
I owe her my life lessons.
But my story isn't her story. I won't let her see me criticize myself in the mirror. And I won't let her believe anyone else's poor treatment of her is ever her fault. I pray she'll never doubt her self worth in this world, and that she'll shine with compassion for others.
I'll give our relationship all I've got. I want her to tell me when I've done something wrong, when I've hurt her.
I want to be her safe place and her support.
I hope she'll use her voice.
And...
I owe her healing.
I owe her my life lessons.
But my story isn't her story. I won't let her see me criticize myself in the mirror. And I won't let her believe anyone else's poor treatment of her is ever her fault. I pray she'll never doubt her self worth in this world, and that she'll shine with compassion for others.
I'll give our relationship all I've got. I want her to tell me when I've done something wrong, when I've hurt her.
I want to be her safe place and her support.
I hope she'll use her voice.
And...
#mother
#children
#motherhood
#memories
#daughter
179 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by msbeav (Brenda)
