deepundergroundpoetry.com
climb and crumple
the mountain peak that oversees the valley calls me
challenging me to show up and with my own eyes see
so I climb that spire and stare off in wonder
as I bellow the ground around me sunders
when the Earth below splits I fall to the fire
landing in front of her body burning in the pyre
challenging me to show up and with my own eyes see
so I climb that spire and stare off in wonder
as I bellow the ground around me sunders
when the Earth below splits I fall to the fire
landing in front of her body burning in the pyre
Published 1st Mar 2021
| Edited 22nd Jun 2021
Author's Note
Poem 1
02.28.2021
02.28.2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 3
comments 24
reads 559
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
1st Mar 2021 3:52am
I can feel your empty sadness permeate... it's all about the emotion, imo... nicely penned and a great first poem.
I can't wait to see what else is in store..
Ty for sharing
🌹
I can't wait to see what else is in store..
Ty for sharing
🌹
1st Mar 2021 4:31am
1st Mar 2021 4:35am
1st Mar 2021 4:31am
Amazing first entry
You'll have fun here
I'll be watching and reading
BIG LIKE
You'll have fun here
I'll be watching and reading
BIG LIKE
...piercing 1st emotional write!!! 5 alarm fiery poetry already torching the pages of DUP.....nice launch (no reference to the metaphoric fall portrayed, lol) Welcome!
1st Mar 2021 4:45am
1st Mar 2021 4:46am
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Apr 2022 5:45am
1st Mar 2021 5:51am
<< post removed >>
1st Mar 2021 5:53am
1st Mar 2021 6:33am
Feels like someone who had hope once and lost it. This is a pretty solid first share. Welcome to DUP.
1st Mar 2021 8:07am
1st Mar 2021 1:26pm
Welcome to DUP. I love the imagery and always love pyre. Not sure why exactly. :) You captured that hopeful climb so well, and also the fall equally well. Can really feel the emptiness and sadness.
This one hurts deep. There is a rise (love) and fall (death)... long story short I will never get that triumph. I appreciate the welcome.
Anonymous
- Edited 15th Mar 2022 6:45am
2nd Mar 2021 8:36am
<< post removed >>
2nd Mar 2021 8:37am
2nd Mar 2021 12:35pm
i can relate to this one having lost 2 Fiancees & a Daughter
Don'tcha wish sometimes that our grief could be burned away like dross on molten metals?
Don'tcha wish sometimes that our grief could be burned away like dross on molten metals?
2nd Mar 2021 7:47pm
That's hard. Hate to hear of your tragedy. I do wish I could just sit somewhere and just converse for a moment if a literal moment.
Anonymous
- Edited 28th Apr 2021 11:45am
3rd Mar 2021 4:07am
<< post removed >>
3rd Mar 2021 4:10pm
16th Jun 2021 7:04pm
I hope you are well my friend, and you have surrounded yourself within great company and have kept up your spirits in he process ...
21st Jun 2021 1:33pm
21st Jun 2021 7:14pm
Very much so and thank you for asking.. I'm here for you, always remember that...
