Oklahoma!

 
When I was a nine year old kid
I used to like going to my uncle’s place
He had the coolest bachelor pad
It was small but yet a comfy space

He had all kinds of LPs and movies on betamax
Computer gadgets and things I’d never seen
Until one day I went into his bathroom
And discovered his magazines

I must’ve spent almost half an hour
Looking at the beauties all spread out
Their mouths agape with their eyes closed
Like they were captured wanting to shout

But all the magazines had similar poses
The man’s mouth close to the woman’s hips
To me it looked like they were singing
As she closed her eyes and licked her lips

Flip to a couple of pages to another spread
And there she was holding his ding-a-ling
Gripping it tight as her mouth opened wide
Like a mic, I thought, she was about to sing

My nine year old brain thought this was insane
Why do grown ups sing to the dick and pussy?
Is it some kind of ritual that I don’t know about
And when I grow old am I going to get that bushy?
(this was the 80s)

Then I discovered some of my dad’s magazines
And there again they were singing to the genitals!
A woman’s expression of pleasure being sung to
Was something that I just found to be incredible
 
Sometime later as I flipped through the channels
I came across an old movie playing on the T.V.
It was a musical which caught my attention
But something revealed itself to me suddenly

And then I saw it, it started to make sense
The mouths open wide, I recalled in my brain
When Curly held that note – OOOOOOOOOOOOOH-
-klahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain

When having intercourse or fellatio or cunnilingus
Oklahoma needs to be sung out loud during sex
And this will pleasure your partner, aurally
Leaving them satisfied and even perplexed

                                                  -

Later in my teens I realized it was such a silly idea
I thought about doing it once but it could've gone wrong
But now I’m a grown ass man who knows better so maybe
Next time I’m downtown I might just break out into song