Run by Remorse

I feel the crushing weight.
Remembering the exact date.
I was wracked with guilt.
Erasing everything that I built.
Losing you made them grieve.
More than I could ever believe.
Can't even look them in the eyes.
They didn't tell me any lies.
But I lived and he died.
What could be left inside?
Looking at the one who survived.
Must have made them feel deprived.
The image locked on repeat.
Knowing that his heart will never beat.
I don't know what to say.
To make some of the pain go away.
Or how I could possibly pay.
Wanting to apologize every day.
Tears rolling down my cheek.
Forgiveness is what I seek.