How I really feel.  

I've thought about this constantly,
And the words I want to write.
I'm so tormented by confusion ..
I can't hardly sleep at night.  
I wish that I could call you.,
Cuz your voice just makes me smile,
I wish that I could hold you close ,
For just a little while.
I wish that I could send a text ,
And get one in return.
I've been thru this so many times,
You'd think id finally learn.
But I think of you so easily ,
A thousand times a day.  
And when your sleeping next to me ,
I lie awake and pray.
And I've said before how crazy,
The way you make me feel.
I keep pinching myself painfully,
Just to make sure that it's real.  
God placed you in my life you see,
And quickly you became....
A beacon in my darkest night
And sunshine thru the rain .
And see when life gets heavy ,
And it starts to feel like death ..
When I  feel like I am drowning
And I need to catch my breath. ...
Then the moment that I see you ,
I touch you and your there !!
It's like the fogs been lifted
And I can finally breathe fresh air.
And that's is where my fear kicks in,
Cuz I'm afraid you'll call my bluff.
But alas the plot doth thibken
Because it's just not quite enough.  
But I don't want to lose you
Not when you are all I've got ,
And honestly let's face it cuz
The sex is really hot.  
But I hardly get to see you
And when I do the time don't last.
It's like finally I am with you and
It's over much to fast.
But deep inside my heart I know
That you don't feel the same .
You've never tried to fool me so
I've just myself to blame.  
But I had hoped that over time
You'd start to care for me.  
I guess I need to realize that
It's just not meant to be.  
(Unfinished)