Submissions by essiebessie34 (Esther Kirkman)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I guess I have to open myself in some way, so poetry is how I do that
SELF POEM
Published
3rd Jun 2020 7:04am
3rd Jun 2020 7:04am
Hammock
Swayed below the lamp
Now below the trees
My blanket’s quite damp
From the cold night breeze
I used to be a blossom
I swayed till I fell out
Thought life was simply awesome
Not a single little doubt
But this time in my hammock
Toes tangled in the twine
Nothing’s here but panic
And my belly’s full of wine
See my image has been scribbled
To the point where paper tears
Lobes are now quite crippled
Along with all my cares
Now I sway on this hammock
Even...
Now below the trees
My blanket’s quite damp
From the cold night breeze
I used to be a blossom
I swayed till I fell out
Thought life was simply awesome
Not a single little doubt
But this time in my hammock
Toes tangled in the twine
Nothing’s here but panic
And my belly’s full of wine
See my image has been scribbled
To the point where paper tears
Lobes are now quite crippled
Along with all my cares
Now I sway on this hammock
Even...
#sadness
#depression
#loneliness
#childhood
#rhyming
367 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
18th May 2020 00:52am
18th May 2020 00:52am
Have You Seen My Sanity?
Who I am I, Why am I here?
What do I feel, why do I fear?
I’ve realized I don’t know how I feel
above all that I can’t tell what’s real
My mind is floating above my body
And things are beginning to get quite foggy
I’m living, walking, doing, and talking
But in the process I find myself often gawking
To live in the present, that has expired
For a working mind would be required
I’m here right now, no that is a lie
I wish I was, please believe me I try
I can’t change the fact that I can only see
I wish I...
What do I feel, why do I fear?
I’ve realized I don’t know how I feel
above all that I can’t tell what’s real
My mind is floating above my body
And things are beginning to get quite foggy
I’m living, walking, doing, and talking
But in the process I find myself often gawking
To live in the present, that has expired
For a working mind would be required
I’m here right now, no that is a lie
I wish I was, please believe me I try
I can’t change the fact that I can only see
I wish I...
#anxiety
#depression
#MentalHealth
#despair
#FeelingLost
317 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
16th May 2020 4:36pm
16th May 2020 4:36pm
Popped balloons
Partial progress
Often retrogress
Balloons begin to pop
Pop motivation
Pop inspiration
There’s not way for it to stop
Air blows out
At the sound of a shout
And a little heart is broken
Was not a toy
But a source of joy
Much more than a small token
Often retrogress
Balloons begin to pop
Pop motivation
Pop inspiration
There’s not way for it to stop
Air blows out
At the sound of a shout
And a little heart is broken
Was not a toy
But a source of joy
Much more than a small token
#depression
#childhood
#confusion
#disappointment
#emotions
275 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
16th May 2020 11:36am
16th May 2020 11:36am
Promises of true love
I swear I swear
To always care
To never go back
Under attack
Only in daylight
When it’s not hard to fight
and never at night
When I have no sight
You swear you swear
To never tear
Your skin over your chest
putting yourself to the test
For the bleeding scars
Are worse than cigars
A powerful addiction
And desperate condition
We swear we swear
To always be fair
To be strong when it’s hardest
when our minds are the...
To always care
To never go back
Under attack
Only in daylight
When it’s not hard to fight
and never at night
When I have no sight
You swear you swear
To never tear
Your skin over your chest
putting yourself to the test
For the bleeding scars
Are worse than cigars
A powerful addiction
And desperate condition
We swear we swear
To always be fair
To be strong when it’s hardest
when our minds are the...
#love
#depression
#SelfHarm
#suicide
#fear
328 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
14th May 2020 11:34pm
14th May 2020 11:34pm
My Mind is a Jungle that You’re Always Exploring
My mind is a jungle that you’re always exploring
You go up and down the branches of thoughts
And swing on the vines of emotions
You pick hopes from their stems without a care in the world
And seek shade in leaves of my confusion
A stream of hurt you come across
And guzzle the tears
Now where the stream used to flow
The earth is numb and dry
Things are growing down in the dirt below.
They’re dreams and a future beginning to sprout
But you walk straight through this path
And leave them pulverized in your tracks
You’re journey is...
You go up and down the branches of thoughts
And swing on the vines of emotions
You pick hopes from their stems without a care in the world
And seek shade in leaves of my confusion
A stream of hurt you come across
And guzzle the tears
Now where the stream used to flow
The earth is numb and dry
Things are growing down in the dirt below.
They’re dreams and a future beginning to sprout
But you walk straight through this path
And leave them pulverized in your tracks
You’re journey is...
#love
#depression
#addiction
#MovingOn
#acceptance
304 reads
6 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
8th May 2020 7:02am
8th May 2020 7:02am
Grieving the Me I wanted to be
Overflowing, trickling, oozing disappointment...
It reaches up from the pit of my stomach
It tugs on my ear, begging for a listener
Tonight, for the first time in years, I tune in.
My regrets trickle from the crevices of my lids.
They fall in black streaks of tar...
Hot, sticky and shameful.
Tasty desires are stripped of their pleasure
And their haze no longer lingers.
What’s left is unbearably visible and serrated,
Gouging areas soaked in my insecurity.
For the inevitable consequences boil under my breasts.
They boil and blister...
It reaches up from the pit of my stomach
It tugs on my ear, begging for a listener
Tonight, for the first time in years, I tune in.
My regrets trickle from the crevices of my lids.
They fall in black streaks of tar...
Hot, sticky and shameful.
Tasty desires are stripped of their pleasure
And their haze no longer lingers.
What’s left is unbearably visible and serrated,
Gouging areas soaked in my insecurity.
For the inevitable consequences boil under my breasts.
They boil and blister...
#depression
#confessional
#addiction
#acceptance
#emptiness
287 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
6th May 2020 9:28pm
6th May 2020 9:28pm
Becoming lies
I’ve noticed since my youth
Twists and tangles in my truth
I want to be what I expect of others
But disappointment rudders
I wish I was honest and loud and true
But I only lie because I care for you
My mother, my father I could not tell
my mistakes to them, would be a living hell
the tests and the pill at the top of my closet
I bought with my own money in my pocket
Their cupboard of liquids now drained to the core
Their daughters throat left unbearably sore
“To work” I tell them, “that’s where I’m...
Twists and tangles in my truth
I want to be what I expect of others
But disappointment rudders
I wish I was honest and loud and true
But I only lie because I care for you
My mother, my father I could not tell
my mistakes to them, would be a living hell
the tests and the pill at the top of my closet
I bought with my own money in my pocket
Their cupboard of liquids now drained to the core
Their daughters throat left unbearably sore
“To work” I tell them, “that’s where I’m...
#anxiety
#depression
#lies
#betrayal
#addiction
321 reads
8 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
29th Apr 2020 8:20pm
29th Apr 2020 8:20pm
The Mind Prefers to Torture the Soul
There’s no way to stop it
There’s no way of turning back
For stored away in the cabinet
My heart is turning black
So I ask myself, who slips from reality
Would you please this once, be kind to me?
But the mind prefers to torture my soul
To destroy itself from within
It’s power Is not controllable
So instead I spin and spin
It lurks around the corner
I feel the tension in my guts
Then all of a sudden it happens again
It happens all at once
The damage is done
My fears displayed
My mind...
There’s no way of turning back
For stored away in the cabinet
My heart is turning black
So I ask myself, who slips from reality
Would you please this once, be kind to me?
But the mind prefers to torture my soul
To destroy itself from within
It’s power Is not controllable
So instead I spin and spin
It lurks around the corner
I feel the tension in my guts
Then all of a sudden it happens again
It happens all at once
The damage is done
My fears displayed
My mind...
#depression
#dreams
#MentalHealth
#despair
#nightmares
304 reads
6 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
29th Apr 2020 1:39am
29th Apr 2020 1:39am
A stranger to all but me
It’s funny
No matter who I try to be
They don’t know the real me
Never
Not the things inside of my head
Or my restless in my bed
It’s just not meant to be
I’m the only one that knows
It only makes sense I suppose
It frightens me
For what’s inside is so disgraceful
The secrets so distasteful
if these things they knew
I’d be anything but true
For dishonestly is most fatal
So I wake as a stranger
Unknown in my own home
To be known is such a danger ...
No matter who I try to be
They don’t know the real me
Never
Not the things inside of my head
Or my restless in my bed
It’s just not meant to be
I’m the only one that knows
It only makes sense I suppose
It frightens me
For what’s inside is so disgraceful
The secrets so distasteful
if these things they knew
I’d be anything but true
For dishonestly is most fatal
So I wake as a stranger
Unknown in my own home
To be known is such a danger ...
#sadness
#depression
#loneliness
#secrets
#hurt
604 reads
8 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
28th Apr 2020 4:51am
28th Apr 2020 4:51am
Thoughts from an open grave
The walls beside taunt and prod
Only the clouds above plead my case
For the memories I cherish dig me deeper
Until the clouds are no longer in my favor
The lungs soaked in the scent of wet soil
Can grant freedom in a single scream
For the people I’d rather not remember
Are above me listening
But aid or harm, I do not know
For on the soil above I grow and grow
And to grow is to learn and to learn is to hurt
For I could end it all here, below in the dirt
Only the clouds above plead my case
For the memories I cherish dig me deeper
Until the clouds are no longer in my favor
The lungs soaked in the scent of wet soil
Can grant freedom in a single scream
For the people I’d rather not remember
Are above me listening
But aid or harm, I do not know
For on the soil above I grow and grow
And to grow is to learn and to learn is to hurt
For I could end it all here, below in the dirt
#anxiety
#depression
#death
#suicide
#graveyard
320 reads
8 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
28th Apr 2020 4:16am
28th Apr 2020 4:16am
To stay is an act of selflessness
To leave would be but a prize to the heart
Like the snapping of fingers it would be
For the memories cherished to be torn apart
And the people I love to think of me
A destination so sweet, so warm, so tender
The soul aches to freely surrender
But to stay is an act of selflessness
To bear the hearts of not one but many
Even in the the midst of helplessness
You share them your shriveling company
For like the flap of a butterfly’s wings
The absence of life would be
The devastation of known things ...
Like the snapping of fingers it would be
For the memories cherished to be torn apart
And the people I love to think of me
A destination so sweet, so warm, so tender
The soul aches to freely surrender
But to stay is an act of selflessness
To bear the hearts of not one but many
Even in the the midst of helplessness
You share them your shriveling company
For like the flap of a butterfly’s wings
The absence of life would be
The devastation of known things ...
#anxiety
#depression
#death
#suicide
#disappointment
346 reads
8 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by essiebessie34 (Esther Kirkman)
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