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Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
What would it be if I went about,
pining, whining, given to shout,
would anyone know I was caught in a daze,
gone to a mind spell, lost in a maze?
Would, in a flurry I come rushing out,
a river of mud so careless without
a waving spectacle so bemused.
Who, in a moment could refuse
to look, and look upon with doubt.
'What is she doing out there, has she gone mad?'
With happiness, at least, it can't be that bad.
'But she is on a sandbar and the tide is coming in.
Doesn't she know her future looks grim?
Heaven forbid, I hope she can swim!'
.....
#StevieSmith
pining, whining, given to shout,
would anyone know I was caught in a daze,
gone to a mind spell, lost in a maze?
Would, in a flurry I come rushing out,
a river of mud so careless without
a waving spectacle so bemused.
Who, in a moment could refuse
to look, and look upon with doubt.
'What is she doing out there, has she gone mad?'
With happiness, at least, it can't be that bad.
'But she is on a sandbar and the tide is coming in.
Doesn't she know her future looks grim?
Heaven forbid, I hope she can swim!'
.....
#StevieSmith
Written by
PoetsRevenge
Published 18th Feb 2020
| Edited 26th Feb 2020
Author's Note
Inspired by the poem, 'Not Waving But Drowning' by Stevie Smith
Written for the 'Alone In The Woods' comp
https://genius.com/Stevie-smith-not-waving-but-drowning-annotated
Written for the 'Alone In The Woods' comp
https://genius.com/Stevie-smith-not-waving-but-drowning-annotated
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 2
comments 14
reads 565
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Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
18th Feb 2020 3:21am
Re: Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
18th Feb 2020 3:27am
Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
I’m enjoying some of the translations as entrants emulate Stevie... I could hardly wait to see the contributions... and so - well done, PR!
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Re: Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
18th Feb 2020 4:49am
She's fun to emulate, I wanted to have fun with this one, I'm working on a more serious one also. Thanks for the nice comment :)
Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
Anonymous
18th Feb 2020 10:06am
You certainly nailed Smith's sense of humor! LOL I can totally picture this one in my mind. Well played, PR. Good luck in the judging!
1
Re: Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
20th Feb 2020 4:45am
Its a scary thing to picture, I know, I almost got stuck on a sandbar once, had to swim to shore ! Thanks for the cool comment :)
Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
18th Feb 2020 1:03pm
Re: Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
26th Feb 2020 3:58am
I'm so glad you liked it, thanks for the comment:) The original poem was based on a real event that Stevie Smith witnessed in her time, a man was drowning and everyone thought he was just waving hello, so no one tried to save him, thus inspiring the famous poem..
Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
18th Feb 2020 1:56pm
Re: Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
26th Feb 2020 4:00am
Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
18th Feb 2020 2:15pm
Re: Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
26th Feb 2020 4:05am
I wasn't sure how strong this one would be, but then dark humor was just out of my comfort zone so I had to try it, I'm glad it worked, thanks so much for the encouragement and RL add :)
Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
28th Mar 2020 7:30am
ltm i love that stevie smith poem... remember reading it at school & just being swept up in it's brilliance
& now this wonderful, tongue in cheek tribute :)
i don't think you're one for water wings 🖤
& now this wonderful, tongue in cheek tribute :)
i don't think you're one for water wings 🖤
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Re: Re. Not Waving But Drowning (Sandbar)
My little sister had water wings on the day we swam back from the sandbar, she was better than me at it, a true story there, thanks so much for the comment and RL add :) There's a live reading of the poem on the page I linked to in her voice also..