Surviving Rock Bottom

I knew I hit rock bottom when I sat there
And I could never defend the man I loved
Anymore, not even to my best friend or

Anyone else. I promised and would swear
To myself I would never put anyone above
Me or my health. I was choosing to ignore

Everything he put me through including
The pain and sleepless nights. He did not
See the tears I kept from him. He only saw

Me as happy until I felt like I was losing
Everything I once knew like love. The knot
Remained and in the end the final straw

Was him not caring. It did not matter until
I walked away he realized it was a battle
That he would no longer win. I could have

Chosen to be bitter or shut down the spill
Of feelings or emotions, but in the saddle
I went again and my heart’s main valve

Still got cut wide open when I decided to
Move on and try to love again. This time
The pain was worse than before. Rock

Bottom was home until the sky was blue
Again and I could breathe. The rhyme
In life made sense as I am able to walk

On a path I created. Those people came
Into my life to not to necessarily heal me,
But to love, to make and break me apart

Until I became the person I was ashamed
Of. Some people bring chaos from the sea
And some came to bring me a new start.

So yes, pain ebbs and flows, but even as it
Has brung me to me knees and as I really
Began to wonder if I can continue this life

In happiness, in my veins and in every bit
Of my soul I truly carry on like a rose or lily
Blooming again after being cut by a knife.

“Life doesn’t give You the people you want, It gives you The people you need: To love you, To hate you, To make you, To break you, And to make you the person you Were meant to be.”
— Walt Whitman