deepundergroundpoetry.com
l o o p
In limbo
in transition
in pursuit
I talk
in self conscious mumble
my nerves jangle
everything a jumble
I see the signs
but they fade too soon
even before I could register
still I try
The world is gray
and drab
albeit intact
On rusted iron gates
plastic bags sway
as the strong breeze
carries the smog
The bleached sun is just a sham
honk and holler-
Armies of locomotives
convertibles
vehicles
with
the faceless
nameless
the jetsam due
A woman stares at me
smiling as her eyes mock
The gangrene having spread
far too deep
beyond the marrow
From the window I look outside-
beyond oily fingerprints
Someone watches the mountain
with vain fascination
or rather whatever is left
after years of
illegal dynamite blasts
Oblivious yet aware
I am Buddha and Shiva
both
I wander on the beach-
the dirty empty beach
deserted and desolate
and the majestic ocean-
angry and howling
'Am I here
till when
and why
and why me'
and what do I want'
Well where did I see
this one-
some question from
the AC-Nielson survey
or the biggest question
of the last fifty years
entrapped
endangered
enraged
encumbered
I just function
amongst the bipeds-
bright
bruised
brisk
crossing the streets
laughing at Jerry
disposing garbage
and they function too
to and fro
oscillating alright
Chocolate
stand-up comedy
sex
shopping-
sweet Jesus
In case you do chemicals
and have a farm house
then nothing beats
run away while
you can
writhe
wriggle
write your ticket
or else you can just
wake up
brush
rush
to be
In limbo
in transition
in pursuit
in the race..
Published 30th Dec 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 953
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
30th Dec 2011 6:57pm
Another great poem by you, but I donīt like the title. There is something about it that doesnīt fit with the fine poem
mbass33
I would agree on that.
Honestly most of my titles
are references to other things,
often in a ironic/cryptic way.
Movie titles, song titles and
other such things.
This one was an untitled piece
and a quick glimpse across the
room showed me snippets on the
teevee. The movie Zombieland
caught my eyes following stop
motion videos of people on the
streets of Tokyo and so on.:)
Will alter it. When it comes
from within.:)
Thanks for stopping by and
sharing your thoughts.
Curtsy,
S'
p.s- Well a few voices rose and
the earliest one made its way.
I would agree on that.
Honestly most of my titles
are references to other things,
often in a ironic/cryptic way.
Movie titles, song titles and
other such things.
This one was an untitled piece
and a quick glimpse across the
room showed me snippets on the
teevee. The movie Zombieland
caught my eyes following stop
motion videos of people on the
streets of Tokyo and so on.:)
Will alter it. When it comes
from within.:)
Thanks for stopping by and
sharing your thoughts.
Curtsy,
S'
p.s- Well a few voices rose and
the earliest one made its way.
Anonymous
30th Dec 2011 8:44pm
I do prefer loop, to the previous one.
I am bothered by the opening four lines which you repeat at the end, do you need them there, would the piece start off just as well at "I talk in" ?
That said I think it is a marvelous write and captures the essence of modern living...the all time rush. I like it alot!
Al .
I am bothered by the opening four lines which you repeat at the end, do you need them there, would the piece start off just as well at "I talk in" ?
That said I think it is a marvelous write and captures the essence of modern living...the all time rush. I like it alot!
Al .
30th Dec 2011 9:54pm
Al
1. Yes. Loop is indeed.
Better.
2. 'I talk'- Altered.
3. The repeatation was not
intentional. Let's wait.
Thank you as ever.
Curtsy-hugs-warmth,
S'
1. Yes. Loop is indeed.
Better.
2. 'I talk'- Altered.
3. The repeatation was not
intentional. Let's wait.
Thank you as ever.
Curtsy-hugs-warmth,
S'
30th Dec 2011 10:19pm
31st Dec 2011 7:11pm
Grace
Thank you as always.
Kind as always.
Honoured that you feel so.
Curtsy,
S'
Thank you as always.
Kind as always.
Honoured that you feel so.
Curtsy,
S'
1st Jan 2012 7:05pm
your poems are always very well thought of and structured.
Your thoughts interlink with one another so they present us a certain pattern of which im not sure of. I'll be reading until i find it; when i finally do, I'll continue coming back.
Your thoughts interlink with one another so they present us a certain pattern of which im not sure of. I'll be reading until i find it; when i finally do, I'll continue coming back.
1st Jan 2012 8:45pm
Ophliac
Your remarks make
me think.
I hope 'we' become
successful.
Thank you for the
visit O.
Curtsy,
S'
p.s-It would be a cross of
a school of Indian Philosophy
and Andrei Tarkovsky I would
say.
The correlation between 'the seer'
and 'the seen'. :) s o o n.
Your remarks make
me think.
I hope 'we' become
successful.
Thank you for the
visit O.
Curtsy,
S'
p.s-It would be a cross of
a school of Indian Philosophy
and Andrei Tarkovsky I would
say.
The correlation between 'the seer'
and 'the seen'. :) s o o n.
13th Feb 2013 5:16am
Awesome! I would LOVE to hear this performed by you. Have you ever considered publishing spoken word videos? (Yet to check if you have any up or not. I'll go do that ASAP.)
My first thought was New York. Am I close?
My first thought was New York. Am I close?
15th Feb 2013 6:42pm
Kestaa
Welcome to this part of the du universe. I had nearly forgotton this one. :)
No, I have never done open word and I would be an absolute disaster at it. It's a gut feeling. Ha.
I have never been to the big apple. Honestly the biggest cities of the world today are strikingly similar, almost like limbs that were surgically removed only to grow into independently existing bodies. New York, shanghai. Tokyo. Why not?
So yes, in a way you are close.
Thank you for stopping by.
Happy writing,
Sumeet
Welcome to this part of the du universe. I had nearly forgotton this one. :)
No, I have never done open word and I would be an absolute disaster at it. It's a gut feeling. Ha.
I have never been to the big apple. Honestly the biggest cities of the world today are strikingly similar, almost like limbs that were surgically removed only to grow into independently existing bodies. New York, shanghai. Tokyo. Why not?
So yes, in a way you are close.
Thank you for stopping by.
Happy writing,
Sumeet
