unconsolable

 
feelings so buried you'd think I had none
teardrops shatter glass
revealing the heart of the matter
 
I see my reflection in the mirror of my mourning
I cry quietly fear says tell no one
the secrets you conceal would be your undoing
 
I'm a loser without hope of reconciliation  
decisions made in a minute
spin fate far from my favor
 
little sips of pain intoxicate  
drunk on them I see the truth of me
hopeless and reckless lady of no consequence
alters futures without realization
 
aching whispers shout what were you thinking?
foolish lady don't you know;  
broken hearts don't mend just because you wish it so?
 
I pray to a deity who isn't listening
confessions secreted to him don't feel any lighter
left to my own devices I buckle under the weight of it
 
what you do in the dark comes to the light
I will it not be so
cause my darkness wasn't made for honest eyes
it would hurt the minds of the innocent
 
my soul wanders the fields of agony
I can hardly look in the mirror
without wondering what manner of woman I am
 
feelings so damning I've avoided my passion  
knowing they would be here waiting for me
when I thought to put pen to paper  
 
they've stepped forward and fought for freedom
entering the light of my truth  
where I can no longer hide from them
 
stoically I face my demons