deepundergroundpoetry.com
RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
On a downtown street corner, frozen like ice,
head dipped downward forty five degrees.
Right arm bent upward, fingers wrapped ‘round device.
Barely audible, whispers “help please!”
Doctor sees what she’s tired of diagnosing,
malignant textium paralysis
In layman’s terms: blown gasket while texting.
It required no further analysis.
Surgeons fail in their attempt to prise
The blue fingers surrounding the smartphone
The patient screams, tears filling their eyes
They must sever the arm near the funny bone.
One final suture, selfie-stick prosthetic in place
Patient wakes while they apply bandages
Asks the nurse, as anxiety creeps on their face,
“While out, did I get any messages?”
head dipped downward forty five degrees.
Right arm bent upward, fingers wrapped ‘round device.
Barely audible, whispers “help please!”
Doctor sees what she’s tired of diagnosing,
malignant textium paralysis
In layman’s terms: blown gasket while texting.
It required no further analysis.
Surgeons fail in their attempt to prise
The blue fingers surrounding the smartphone
The patient screams, tears filling their eyes
They must sever the arm near the funny bone.
One final suture, selfie-stick prosthetic in place
Patient wakes while they apply bandages
Asks the nurse, as anxiety creeps on their face,
“While out, did I get any messages?”
Author's Note
NaPo/GloPoWriMo poem #3; conceived when almost being struck in the back, by a near-comatose texter, while exiting the elevator this morning.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 5:03am
Sad but true and definitely a possibility for a Soonly reality. Great writing!
1
Re: Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 5:23am
Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 5:58am
When down to the last two humans
Left alive in planet earth they'll still be wanting to take and send selfies..
Though they'd probably fall out, want to kill, enslave, torture or sexually molest each other as that's what a lot of humans unfortunately like to do
Left alive in planet earth they'll still be wanting to take and send selfies..
Though they'd probably fall out, want to kill, enslave, torture or sexually molest each other as that's what a lot of humans unfortunately like to do
1
Re: Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 6:59pm
Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
Anonymous
4th Apr 2019 6:00am
uhmm
this is so me
I'm going to be flattening by a truck while texting
lol
this is so me
I'm going to be flattening by a truck while texting
lol
1
Re: Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 7:01pm
Thank you, Katja! Even flattened you'd make the prettiest of pancakes. I appreciate your consistent support.
Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 12:08pm
hahha! oh what away to send home "the message" dear poet!
jokes apart..indeed a serious message delivered with irony and humor... well at some points in time
i indeed have been guilty of being a phone zombie...but trust me i learned quickly...but now...
thanks for the timely reminder dear friend!
the ending was awesome to put it mildly!
jokes apart..indeed a serious message delivered with irony and humor... well at some points in time
i indeed have been guilty of being a phone zombie...but trust me i learned quickly...but now...
thanks for the timely reminder dear friend!
the ending was awesome to put it mildly!
1
Re: Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 7:04pm
Thank you so much, Cold_Fusion! I too, at times, have donned my phone zombie visage...it's not pretty. I am glad you like the last line...I wanted it to be something that reinforced the obsession idea.
Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 3:07pm
Yes, your doctor called and said it's going to cost you an arm and a leg...good humour Bob
1
Re: Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 7:06pm
Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 5:36pm
Re: Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 7:08pm
Thank you, Josh! I find humor to be an effective more memorable catalyst for driving home a message. And one doesn't feel chastised.
Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 7:09pm
Re: Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 7:55pm
Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 10:10pm
The vigilance is ridiculous indeed but, being a victim of medical professionals myself, makes me feel these lines all the more. Excellent work, Gahdess!
1
Re: Re. RIDICULOUS VIGILANCE
4th Apr 2019 11:54pm
Thank you Sir Crow! I am sorry you have suffered at the hands of doctors. I am glad you relate to the piece.