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I always wanted to be on the side of history but it was a majority state- these women weren’t going to let me. I know it was there somewhere undiluted; I’ll have to reflect but when you’re in a major city (gay mecca USA-1 of 3) you almost don’t really have that luxury of being spatially challenged; inability to see yourself in relationship to 1 or more other things. At the same time, the city can be oxymoronic in a way. The girls don’t want the thin Asian girl paired with the heavy-set White girl- cute as hell, then why didn’t those same chicks have a problem with me? There were another sistah there too well she’s old school stone butch; house mother and the other one is white-bartender (soft butch). A few others; not so regular now I’m their peer- dark, thin and sometimes aesthetic value can level playing fields that might have otherwise caused some ripple. Consequently, haunted- made to feel guilty for packaging. Had I been 30-50 lbs heavier it would’ve extended a slightly different narrative- drew in a different crowd. None of us were in denial about the value of aesthetics. We at large knew that if we gained weight, got sick or just aged in the wrong places; the same chicks looking at ya- are no longer. Now, same sex loving women relationships weighed out over interracial relationships any day. You’d usually only see that in the suburbs and that’s how it was. We draw from an extensively rich political history of organizing: Salsa Soul Sisters, Lesbian Avengers, ACT UP, Dykes on Bikes, Cancer Project, Dyke March…God knows what other collectives? It doesn’t end but these could dissolve boundaries/ classes must faster much more believably: convincingly than the other team- whatever moves you. Intimate women affairs will be what it’s been-between grown women.