Can't Go Back

I've been here two days
It feels like two weeks
I want to go home
I want my babies
But now there's
No going back again
Time can't heal this
There's not enough time
In forever to ever ever
Ever stop this pain
Because of hate
Because of hurt
Because of words
That never see
Forgiveness
Why am I
Unforgivable
Why can't I be given
The same things
That I have given
Love, compassion
Understanding and
Forgiveness
I let him come back
Twice
I let him see his
Babies
But I'm vulgar disgusting
Worthless nothing
And I'm not allowed
To go back
And I wasn't allowed
To live there even
When I lived there
But it's not the house
That was never a home
It's not sleeping on
Someone's floor and
Not having a place to reside
It's not waking up the kids
And being there by their side
It's not having my things
Still have my
Wedding ring
I should toss it to the wind
Just like he did years ago
But it's all I have left
And nothing is right
And never will be again
And never even was
To begin with
It's only been two days
Of knowing the ache
Of can't ever go back
But it feels like eternity
Here empty
Without you and me
And my babies
Can't go back
Can't go on
Can't see tomorrow
Anymore